<p>Wow!! I think your d is a rock star for leaving the situation. Host mom is a dirty liar. She said she would be present and she promised she would monitor when your d left. Her d must be in so much trouble. Also parents of host house should be in huge trouble. I think the fine is 1500 per kid for underage drinking. Binge drinking is a bad sign. Tell your d she is a champion for getting out of there. But if it was so terrible that they left, I wonder what else was going on. Sexual harassment.</p>
<p>Wow…</p>
<p>Fam…will you say something to the host mom? Sounds like the parents were making themselves scarce and did not make the impression on the kids that they were available at ANY TIME. It is understandable that your D would not feel comfortable roaming around their house looking for them. She made the best of a bad situation.</p>
<p>Good Golly Miss Molly! FAM, I actually give your dd kudos for leaving that sinking ship! It is scary that they left, but staying sounds like it could have been worse. I think here if you are found at a party with alcohol that gets busted, you make the trip to the jail, where you can be picked up by parents! </p>
<p>Dd did not go to Homecoming, but to an anti-homecoming party with non drinking kids. She had a great time, and all I heard from kids who went to the dance was there were tons of kids getting in drunk or high. What is wrong with the school–I have no idea why they were not monitoring at the front door better. But since dd did not go and we are done with homecomings, I will let others “work” this out with the administration! For some reason, Junior and Senior proms are much better with behavior. So again FAM, I cheer your dd!</p>
<p>A friend shared this with me today:
<a href=“Opinion | Notes From a Dragon Mom - The New York Times”>Opinion | Notes From a Dragon Mom - The New York Times;
keep a tissue handy</p>
<p>Wow. Thanks Drae. That was beautiful and something I will think about again. Not just when I see sick children but when I see healthy ones who are sometimes with dissatisfied parents wanting even more. Me sometimes.</p>
<p>Oh my, FAMMoM! It’s stories like this that make me take a step back and appreciate my somewhat eccentric kids who wouldn’t go to a dance if I paid them. Looking back, I know that D1 did go to the winter formal her freshman year. The exchange student went too. But that was it as far as dances went. Aspie girl would rather slit her throat then endure all those people and the noise…and Manga girl is ambivalent about the whole thing. I think if one of Manga girl’s friends tried to convince her to come along as part of a group, she’d probably go. Hopefully BAByFAMM learned some good lessons along the way.</p>
<p>Not much is new around our house. The week is full of work, more work, kids school stuff, more work… and housework not getting done by flaky kids…the weekends are mostly spent chauffering somebody here or there…most often to the barn…I feel proud that we’ve succeeded in limiting the horse stuff to the weekend. I have given Aspie girl two driving lessons. I think, after that last one, that I might be done. It needs somebody with steelier nerves than me. The first time she just drove around the premises of the barn… pretty safe. The second time we ventured out onto the road…that was more…er… interesting… but there was no sustained damage, other than to my nerves…I guess we’ll just have to keep trying. D1 is itching to get to an art supply store again for pastels… not too sure why she thinks she needs MORE pastels… she remarked to me “Mom… you can never have too many pastels” which is an echo of my own mantra of “You can never have too many colored pencils”… to each his own, I guess.</p>
<p>thanks drae
there is hope in this world that this parent don’t go suing genetic counselor/lab’s butt. if they’d know, usually given “choices” before second trimester or how long the weeks that is still legal in their State law.
I am bit ashamed now ^ this is how my mind operate, plus wondering how good is this Santa Fe University of Art and Design, for did hear Santa Fe is the next Portland/ Aspen/ Austin one of those NYC outpost?
…
I am thinking of barefoot girls flight, the kid passed out in the bathroom (cool in Harry potter but in real life, NO), the kid’s parents’ wee hours trek to the hospital, papers to sign, questions to answer. (this bit is that fear of us immigrants)
who buy them all alcohol for the party? Is host mom the “cool mom”?
Upstairs and didn’t know? how big is the house? one of those cushy carpeted floor and good insulation, you bet.
different strokes for different folks but you still have to deal with them, yes?</p>
<p>^This is how my mind operates too. For me, for my husband an definitely for my kids. While I feel the authors pain of loss, she really did convey the gift of the freedom that comes from living in the moment. I wonder how much of this precious life I have missed living 1, 2, 3 steps ahead of now.</p>
<p>Drae I totally feel the same. I read it and decided that instead of fretting, is he late for class? (probably yes) Giving himself enough time to do a good job on his papers (probably no) I need to remember he Is healthy, has friends, and nothing insurmountable is in his way. God willing.</p>
<p>Just read Drae’s post and yes, there’s certainly a message there for all of us. And yes, it took some tissue to get through it.</p>
<p>I used to say “I only care if my child if healthy and happy” but sometimes I think, and sometimes I know, I didn’t totally mean that. I held out my own personal hopes of future successes just as the author notes. And I did my fair share of badgering because I worried about the prospects in the future if certain things weren’t done NOW. Ironically now that I’ve calmed down a lot the child seems to be doing better taking charge of life, should have figured that out a long time ago. But then on the other hand I’ve always felt it my responsibility as a parent to make sure there was sufficient material to be gone over in future counseling sessions, so that part I did pretty well I believe.
I found it interesting that the author had the Tay Sachs test twice, both negative, even though she wasn’t of Ashkenazi background. There’s something there about intuition and maybe things that are meant to be.</p>
<p>Well, essay or no…I am still me. S2 came home last night and we got talking about his Physics class. He opted to take an advanced level and he is struggling. It is a small class…6 kids. One of the kids is brilliant and soars above everyone else. The rest are struggling as well. On the last test S2 got a 67. I started suggesting he approach things differently…maybe study with other kids in the class. He said he had the sense I was disappointed in him. I said I was only trying to help. But the problem was he wasn’t asking for help or advice so it came across like pressure. He then said what was so bad about something being hard for him. And if he was ok with struggling and getting a not so hot grade what was the problem with that? I started in with the lecture about doing well now so that he has plenty of options in the future and had to stop myself. I handed him a copy of the essay instead.</p>
<p>Drae…you walked right into that trap that teenagers set where they actually share a problem …you give some mild guidance…OMG! the PRESSURE! your unspoken but crystal clear DISAPPOINTMENT IN THEM! Of course, if you sit and listen and profer nothing…well “OBVIOUSLY YOU ARE BORED WITH MY PROBLEM”…or my favorite…“I know what you are thinking…I am a disappointment to you, I should be doing xyz…” I don’t seem to have learned to recognize the often zero-sum game that is called “parenting a teen”…while it is wonderful mantra of CC to say “love the kid on the couch”…how do we get them to take to heart the mantra “love the parent who is driving you everywhere, buying gobs of art supplies, and/or sitting in the freezing stands during every minor junior varsity game where child plays precisely 5 minutes…” Last night after a game where it rained non stop and where D played zero minutes (homecoming dance injury–stepped on by wicked heels at dance and fleeing barefoot from drunken orgy–infected gashes on feet leading to pain and oral antibiotics) D asks…“should I sleep and get up early or try to study now?” I answer, “whichever you think would work best for you but if you aren’t sure, try getting up at 5:30 am” …so I hear her alarm at 5:30, 5:38, 5:46, 5:54…and I get up to tell her to either get up or turn off the alarm…" It was your dumb idea to get up early and I am too tired"…I went for a run and left her to stew…she kept saying “I am going to fail…” as she dragged around the house muttering vocabulary words/definitions under her breath. Lovely morning. Now to work…</p>
<p>"how do we get them to take to heart the mantra “love the parent who is driving you everywhere, buying gobs of art supplies, and/or sitting in the freezing stands during every minor junior varsity game where child plays precisely 5 minutes…”</p>
<p>This may just take actual real-time years. To my pleased surprise I’ve actually been told twice in the past month, “thanks for doing this, I really owe you big time.” My child had a gap year so we’re looking at 21 in a few weeks, so I’m thinking maturity perhaps??? My response of course was “Thanks for saying that, it’s okay, I’m putting it on the list. You know, the list of all the things I’ve done for you that I’m going to show you when I’m 90 and want to move in with you.” Child’s response, “How far back does that list go, to childbirth?” Me, “Oh yeah, the C section is the first thing on it and it’s very very long.”</p>
<p>you go smarty! your “secrets” are peeling off bit by bit like onionskin, heheheh
now we know you are free of parental duty for good in few weeks means the kid is Scorpio or Sagittarius,
you cut and stitched up your tummy,
has a dog (what kind what kind? is it poodle? ruffruffruff!!!)</p>
<p>hurry up read all the posters I missed. </p>
<p>The story Drae posted is touching and make me rethinking what is more important in life. I feel we are all blessed.</p>
<p>bears’s cookie story is fun and make me understand better why the actoresses are all thin!</p>
<p>Good for you drae to have a parent weekend! Having some nice time with your S1 is nice. It seems your S1 is doing really good.</p>
<p>famm: good to know your D get out of the mess safe!</p>
<p>I arrived SF last Sunday and the training is fun so far. I passed my first exam yesterday and will have last exam next Friday. Feel I am living a college life again.</p>
<p>Called D several time and today, I told her i got 86 out of 100 and 75 is passing score and i feel i did really good. D joke with me: “86 OUT of 100”! Where is the rest of the 14 go? Mom ?! I know she was mocking me in the old time.</p>
<p>I experienced earthquake twice today. Both I can feel the building was shaking. One is about 3 in the afternoon and one is about 8:30 in the evening.
It is all quite and peace, but I am praying all can be just fine and i can go home safe. It doesn’t matter even I passed or not pass the next exam that much. i need to be safe, so that I can help my D in case she need me. Most of the time, this is the most important reason for me to live. Actually, I didn’t care if D loves me back or not. But her appreciation really make me happy.
I didn’t bring my computer here and don’t want to pay to use hotel’s computer. Want to say hi to all of you and enjoyed all the poaters!</p>
<p>love
you are IT people doing training at IBM that involve exam which need studying yes?
and no computer?
or your days are filled with THAT and thought don’t wanna see it at hotel?
86 out of 100…that would be A-or, horrors!!! B+. shame on you tiger mom!
maybe it was a good thing I didn’t come to drag you into un-STEM midset, such as clam chowder in the sourdough breadbowl.</p>
<p>have anyone read thru “Moby-DicK”?
I haven’t.
there is this new book called
“Why read Moby-Dick” and one reason being there is the best clam chowder receipe in it.
Is it true? I will read for that.</p>
<p>Good luck and come home safe. rumor said my kid met farm kid from Iowa at his school and want to go piggyback over summer. corn? what else are growing? yumyumyum</p>
<p>Tiny fluffy hypoallergic white fluffball from the shelter. Was one of those “before and after” types of things where he had to be shaved down to his skin due to matting then looked really handsome when the hair grew back. And yes, C section, did I mention that my doctor kept referring to my pregnancy as “geriatric” while my mother enjoyed pointing out that all her kids had left home by the time she was the same age. But I like to think that I was a more patient mother than if I’d done this at a younger age, albeit geriatric.</p>
<p>hypoallergic should read hypoallergenic hmmm even that looks wrong oh well you know one of those dogs you aren’t supposed to be allergic to.</p>
<p>One thing about having older parents, I noticed that about the age of 4 my kid starting complaining that “my back is going out on me,” since complaints about failing bodies was what was heard around the house a lot.</p>