<p>43-21 is ridiculous…one or both probably has some issues…</p>
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<p>Honestly, I wouldn’t like it. Please tell me, though, how I’m going to “allow” or not allow it, and just how am I supposed to draw a line with regard to a truly adult daughter and her romantic life?</p>
<p>My husband’s aunt and uncle were very upset. And now our cousin would not want his 19 year old DD doing the same as he and his wife did in terms of a May/December relationship, despite the fact that this worked out.</p>
<p>I just looked up our former music teacher’s DD, and yes, she is still married to December, and they have two kids. That was an Andre Previn-Anna Sophia Mutter type thing. He was her mentor and professor at a conservatory. He;s older than her parents, and they were not young parents. The age spread between cousin and wife is 16 years. At the time, he, though he looked like he was about 14 when he was 19, and she was no young looking mid thirtes woman.</p>
<p>no way has mentioned if these older men have an ex-wife (or 2) and children.</p>
<p>I’ve see many couples were the older, financially successful male, wants a young woman who adores him and feeds his ego. After 2 kids, and hitting her 30s, she tries for more of a partnership in relationship, and then she is just as bad as the former wife. </p>
<p>Among my age group, people routinely get involved with men 14+ years older. The men seem young, but within 5 years , need care giving. </p>
<p>Before I would make any adjustment, I would like to see the whole picture.</p>
<p>I (an 18 yr old) would not date anyone significantly older than myself because when I’m older they’ll likely be dead and who wants to be a widow/widower… and not discounting the fact that many people die at a young age due to accidents etc. but dying of old age is inevitable ( for now) and more likely to happen than due to some tragic accident or sudden illness. And then there’s the issue of children… I don’t know I don’t want the " oh what a beautiful grandchild remarks" or to be a single parent.</p>
<p>Oddly enough, of my sister’s boyfriends, the only ones that my parents have liked was the one who was actually almost as old as they were. They didn’t know at the time how old he was - he was fit and looked young for his age. That being said, my sister has a habit of picking real “winners” so his age paled in comparison to long histories of unemployment or criminal records. I guess it all comes down to perspective!</p>
<p>When I was in high school, my then mid-forties uncle married a pretty 20-something bank attendant. That marriage did not end well - she ended up leaving him for someone closer to her own age. Not sure what she was after in the relationship but she came off as being very phony. But let’s just say if it was money she was after, she has NO business working in a bank (because she’s obviously not very good at math).</p>
<p>I didn’t see one story here of an older woman and a younger man…</p>
<p>I agree we can’t judge but if I was the mama, I would be judging. It would be different to me if she was at least 5 years older. I don’t know why, but it would.</p>
<p>“I didn’t see one story here of an older woman and a younger man…”</p>
<p>Look at my posts, 14 and 43. My husband’s cousin is married to a woman about 16 years older than he is and started seeing her when he was 19 years old. </p>
<p>When our kids bring home their picks, it’s tough not to be judgemental.</p>
<p>One thing I don’t see anyone address is that being in a relationship with someone with a very different age or even the same age doesn’t mean you want to marry that person. I know someone who was 20 years younger than a man she was with but she never felt she was going to marry him and he had kids from a previous marriage so didn’t want anymore.</p>
<p>Eventually, she did feel she wanted to marry and have kids so they separated. </p>
<p>I have another friend in a relationship with a man who is over 10 years older and she was just under 40 when they got together. She wanted to marry and have kids and he did not want either. She decided she would rather stay with him even though she would never then get to have kids since her clock was obviously ticking rather than risk being alone. They also have never married.</p>
<p>My sister in laws were both married to men that were close to their own ages.
One met her husband in kindergarten, the other met her husband when her brother who is 5 years older than herself was in high school ( he was one of his friends).</p>
<p>They each stayed married for about 20 years, & were favorites of my inlaws.</p>
<p>One couple broke up ultimately because the husband wanted kids, he has since remarried & had several. I imagine the other couple broke up because they werent superhuman. I cant imagine getting married to someone you were paired up with when you were five.</p>
<p>Age difference can have something to o with whether you stay together or not, but if it snt that, its something else!</p>
<p>I also dont think every relationship needs to have a long term relationship as " a goal" nor should it.
Im sure at 21, a young woman perhaps just wants some relief from men her own age.
;)</p>
<p>My nephew, age 23, is living with his girlfriend, age 50. He moved halfway across the country to live with her and is working at a minimum wage job despite his degree in business. They have been together about a year, living together six months. She has quite a past in “modeling” and there are a lot of photos of her on the internet that we won’t be showing to Grandma. (I did explain to Grandma what a “cougar” is.)</p>
<p>His parents are very upset and he isn’t speaking to them much.</p>
<p>Is the term “robbing the cradle” still in use ?</p>
<p>Bookiemom, my dear friend, who died recently, was estranged from her only son because he was married to a woman with such a past. The fuss that was kicked up while he was seeing her, living with her never got forgiven, even though my friend did try to make amends when the children started arriving. The DIL is some years older than the son… no idea how many, but certainly not way out there. It doesn’t pay to get too upset about these things and say thing that can cause a true wall forever.</p>
<p>This topic has come up from time to time [College</a> Confidential Site Search Results - College Confidential](<a href=“http://www.collegeconfidential.com/search_results.htm?q=dating+an+older+man&sa=Google+Search&userInput=&sitesearch=collegeconfidential.com&cx=013579521852154800353%3Avvp1k6kluvq&cof=FORID%3A9]College”>http://www.collegeconfidential.com/search_results.htm?q=dating+an+older+man&sa=Google+Search&userInput=&sitesearch=collegeconfidential.com&cx=013579521852154800353%3Avvp1k6kluvq&cof=FORID%3A9)</p>
<p>I happen to be several years older than my DH, and my S#1 is a few years older than his longtime gf, and was several years older than his previous longtime gf. Chip off the ol’ block 
His previous gf may have been chronologically older, but was extremely immature. Chronological age isnt everything.</p>
<p>A friend’s S, a college senior, was on a trip with a college group when he met a woman in a bar who captivated him. He was 22. She was mid-thirties and had a 13 yr. old S. They stayed in constant communication throughout his fifth year of college. </p>
<p>As soon as he graduated, the woman and her high school aged son, moved to our town and moved in w/ my friend’s S (who had gotten a good job in our area after graduation).</p>
<p>They got married a year ago and recently bought a house in a very nice neighborhood near his parents. So the young man is now 24 or 25 and the new wife is close to 38 with a 15 year old son. Isn’t it weird that the husband is closer to the age of his new stepson than he is to his wife?<br>
My friend says they are happy and all is well.</p>
<p>Packmom, that’s our cousin, and the marriage has worked out just fine.</p>
<p>Onward,</p>
<p>You must have missed my post (#21) about my brother marrying an older woman. Here it is:</p>
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<p>jym626,</p>
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<p>Very true.</p>
<p>cptofthehouse-
The husband or wife in packmom’s story is your cousin?? Wow! Small world!</p>
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<p>That presumes that the young woman has nothing to offer but looks. Rather insulting to the young woman.
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Between 18 and 28 I dated a man who was twenty years old, a man who was the same age and a man who was younger. I never ONCE stopped to wonder why they were interested in me. I guess, I presumed they thought I was interesting, intelligent, attractive, etc. </p>
<p>I will say, that being a caregiver in your fifties or sixties to a spouse that has not aged well or is older eighties, nineties would be very daunting and stressful but presumably by then it will be be a marriage that has stood the test of time.</p>
<p>krlillies, I can see your past acquaintance is creepy. if the mid-30’s guy is 35(for example) and wants to date girls nearly 1/2 his age, that means the girls are nearly 17 1/2. Creepy! And prob illegal in most states.</p>
<p>To some here tho, I remind them that the key word Op is concerned with is dating. Yes, dating can lead to marriage, but really, dating is just having a good time out with someone. I have dated people that weren’t a good lifetime partner, and I wasn’t always a good lifetime partner, but we still had a pleasant evening out.</p>