I have 4th grader twin sons and it is becoming annoying for me to turn down their requests for cell phones. They are in separate classes and each class has more kids with cell phone than without.
Times are really changing. My wife and I are not planning on getting them a phone until they are in middle school but at the same time, I don’t want my kids to be the last kids in their classes without a phone.
What is your take?
We’re in NYC so it may be different (lots of walking vs car rides) but I gave my boys flip phones when they entered middle school (6th grade) and had to travel a bit. And iPhones when they entered high school and had to travel a far distance every day.
It’s a tough battle but we held off until 6th grade.
I had a cell phone when I was in 3rd grade. Now a senior.
It was needed since my mom travelled a lot and we were often with babysitters or alone.
Just don’t get them a smart phone, save that for middle school.
My kids were well into high school. One benefit, of many, is that they rarely use their phones now in college and don’t have the cell phone/online addiction many people do.
My attitude when they were younger, especially elementary school age, was that they shouldn’t be somewhere unsupervised by some adult anyway.
I survived my childhood without a cell phone. My own kids managed fine. If you want to do it, that’s great, but it’s not a necessity.
@doschicos - That is our motto as well. They will never be unsupervised by an adult so why do they need a phone? In fact they don’t but if every kid has a phone by start of 5th grade, what will we do?
@ArdenNJ Research and read some articles on the damage, both socially and mentally, smartphone use is doing to pre-teens and teens recently. Cell phone addiction, as @doschicos mentioned, is a real problem and right now it’s 100% in your control to manage it. Good luck in whatever you decide.
When my son was in fifth grade a crazy (or possibly drunk) busdriver drove his school bus all over town without letting any kids off and the school didn’t know what was going on until parents started calling the school to ask why their kids hadn’t gotten home yet. Fortunately one fifth grader on the bus had a cell phone and let my son call home and tell my husband what was going on. Then the kid who owned the cell phone grabbed it back from my son and said, “I have to hang up, my mom said the phone is only for emergencies.” My husband alerted the school and the bus company and the police found the bus and stopped it before anyone was hurt. Good thing that kid had a cell phone but maybe a 101 on what constitutes an emergency was needed.
Anyway, my kids had phones in middle school but that probably doesn’t say much about what you should do today because that was about ten years ago. It’s a different world now. Greater safety in being able to communicate but greater danger in the dark places accessible to kids on a cell phone.
I don’t think cell phones should be considered presents or gifts. I think they are a tool and should be evaluated that way. Do you need this tool (or do I need you to have it) rather than I think you deserve this wonderful toy.
I think times have changed. Daughter got a flip phone in high school which she used through first year of college. Only now in her second year of college did she get a prepaid smartphone (tracfone) which she uses along with her tablet. I agree with @doschicos that she is not addicted to her phone because she was never in the habit of it from such a young age. It became a necessity for her to get campus alerts and to connect with classmates meeting to work on projects. Since the phone is prepaid she is not constantly texting or using her phone. (though I would gladly add minutes/text/data if she was running short.)
If you feel there is a need for it you could get a prepaid one that you wouldn’t worry about if it gets lost.
I think you need to figure out is it a need or a want. I know lots of elementary school kids are having their own phones these days but at the same time you don’t want it to be a distraction. If you decide to go for it you can set some rules regarding usage. It seems kids are exposed to technology at a much younger age these days. You have to make a decision that you are comfortable with that suits your families needs.
My kids were the last among their friends to get a phone (or so they tell me). Didn’t bother me at all. I think they were in middle school, and I only caved in because they were involved in after school activities and it was a good way for them to be able to call me and tell me they were ready to be picked up. I don’t see the need for a phone in elementary school, but as was already said, times are different now.
They also didn’t get smartphones until they were in college. Don’t think I could get away with that nowadays.
The fact that we didn’t have them is kind of beside the point. They didn’t exist when I was a kid. And pay phones were common then.
My kids both got them in 6th grade. Earlier than many of their friends back then (but they weren’t the first either) They both went away for summer programs starting after sixth grade so it made sense for them to have them then. Because there were no pay phones, as there were when I attended the same program in 1981.
It also occurs to me that far fewer people have landlines now than even 5-10 years ago when my kids got their first cell phones. That’s something to consider as well–both because you might want your kid to have one if he will be home alone, and because it can be harder to track him down at another kid’s house.
One major benefit of our boys having smartphones (at the risk of upsetting the helicopter parent police) is the “Find my friends” app which allows us to locate them at any moment. Very helpful in NYC.
My colleague just got her 13 year old a smartphone as a birthday present - kid claims she is the last one in her (middle class) friend group to get one. My friend also found a nice “contract” online that sets up rules for parental supervision etc.
I don’t believe that my two other colleagues with similarly aged children are going that route, but both of those families have more flexible schedules where there’s a parent available for after school pickup etc … and before you make that sexist assumption, both of the “available” parents are dads… 
My kids are 19 and 20 and got their first phones (from Santa as I would never allow such a thing) in 6th grade. I really did consider them a toy, and the only requirement was that they have a few minutes left on their cards so that if I needed to call, they could answer. They texted friends and made only a few calls. One lost hers (but then found it) the first day back at school right after she got it.
Now, they are a necessary part of all our lives. We don’t have landlines. My 80 year old mother just got rid of her landline today (new cable/internet package). My 10 year old nephews have phones but still use them as toys, to call friends and play games. They do travel to school on a bus and go to sports practices, but their parents are almost always with them or another adult with the parents’ cell numbers for an emergency.
Here’s the problem I have with smartphones. Mine is indispensable. I get it. But I work in Manhattan and walk the busy sidewalks multiple times a day. Four out of five people (of all ages) have their faces buried in their phones. It’s irritating, inconsiderate, and can be dangerous. How do we help our kids NOT to be that person? How do we teach them to pick their heads up and enjoy the world around them? I think that starting later in life and limiting their time helps, but it’s a tough battle.
Mine got them when they started driver’s draining so 14 years 9 months old.
My parents gave me a phone when I started having to take the city bus home from school(when I was a freshman). My brother is starting his freshman year soon so he got one for his birthday recently.
Like many others here, I think it can be delayed until required by a specific situation. My S got a flip phone when he started a new school in 5th grade. He (and we) didn’t know anyone there and he had anxiety about being picked up. Smart phone didn’t come until a few years later. I’d have held off longer on any phone at all had it not been for the new school situation.
My son got a hand-me-down flip phone when he entered middle school. The school was 5 miles away, the bus was unreliable, and the school had - just a sec while I check the TOS for words I’m not allowed to say - the school had an unfortunate policy prohibiting students from using the office phone to call their parents if there was a problem with the bus.
My kids are older now, 26 and 22. They younger one didn’t get a phone (no smart phone then) until middle school. I didn’t give phones as presents because I view them as tools, not as nice to have. When my kids got smart phones before college, they were limited to usage (no email, text after 11). I turned them off if they didn’t follow the rule.
My kids knew I didn’t let them have or do things because their friends were doing it. They weren’t allowed to go on dates until they were 15, and we had to meet their date first.
Mine got one at 9, when she started flying cross-country unaccompanied.
We have more trouble with book addiction issues than electronics. And while the school is all about limiting electronics, good luck getting them to limit extracurricular reading.