<p>Maybe the boyfriend’s parents can put an end to this madness…</p>
<p>What does being a Russian major have to do with punctuation that posters are politely suggesting is distracting or makes the posts a bit harder to read?</p>
<p>
None of what you say regarding your incorrect punctuation makes sense. Even Russian uses punctuation and there’s no way you could have gone through K-8, HS, or college without being called on this. Your excuse of graduating in 1971 has nothing to do with it since punctuation rules were firmly in place well before then and that’s not going to fly here anyway when most of the parents graduated HS in that general time frame themselves. When legitimately asked why you do it you only give flippant and nonsensical responses. It makes as much sense as me writing all of my sentences backwards because ‘I like it’.</p>
<p>When one writes they convey a certain basic capability and when one decides to make up their own punctuation style you can guess what the perception is about the person. You can already see how it’s derailed this thread so if you want people to not be distracted and take you seriously then it’s best to not do distracting things.</p>
<p>However, you expect people to take you seriously on these drama threads you create about your Harvard D and her under-aged Swedish boy. Many of the posters are actually trying to give you earnest advice yet you don’t actually respond to any of it and just keep the thread going. You can’t expect anyone to take you seriously when you respond either not at all to the real points being made or just give nonsensical responses.</p>
<p>I think the keyword in your moniker is ‘faux’ and you’re probably just making all of this up to seek attention for some strange reason. </p>
<p>I know this may have come across negatively but at least it was honest and maybe you’ll think about some of the points I made. I’ll leave you alone now on this subject and not respond on your threads.</p>
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</p>
<p>You know that, because…</p>
<p>Ya that is what I was thinking- College sophomore wants to drop out of Harvard & go to Europe to be with her 16yr old boyfriend, but it isn’t a physical relationship- naw. really it isn’t!
;)</p>
<p>Gladgraddad, your original intent may not have been to “be mean” but now you are. Who cares if she punctuates incorrectly, I don’t. If it bothers you so much, stop reading this thread and go away. To attack someone in the way that you have is petty and immature.</p>
<p>No, I don’t think GladGradDad is attacking OP, he is giving her a fairly reasonable feedback.</p>
<p>Everything I have said is true . I don’t mean to upset anyone . The faux part of my name is because I have studied faux finishing . Maven is a Yiddish word for expert . I have a heavy arts backround . I have been mostly a stay at home mom , mostly a loner , not much of a socializer . I see some of that quality in my D as well . I have been pushing for her to sign up for some house activities , which she has . She has been making a real effort to join others at mealtime , instead of sitting alone . I think she is feeling better now . Thanks for all your ideas .</p>
<p>^^ Just for the record, I’m not upset about anything. My post apparently came across stronger than intended, at least to one of the posters here, but I seriously meant it to be constructive.</p>
<p>Good luck to you.</p>
<p>I have not read all the posts but just among the ones I did read…</p>
<p>There have been 3 posters publicly requesting OP stop sending them PM’s…</p>
<p>What is wrong with this picture?</p>
<p>Yeah. I have a heavy arts backround . Her punctuation is just a right-brain thing. Let’s get past it. </p>
<p>There are times when we cannot affect our kids’ decisions, we can’t helicopter, they have to make choices on their own. But, there are times when we still have the right, maybe even duty, to express opinions, say no, set limits, etc. This isn’t about money. Or, control or keeping them back in some way. It’s about realizing that our true parental role continues. It’s still our responsibility to help them get to young adulthood, refine some of the skills. Just being in college does not convey maturity, wisdom or readiness for big decisions- it’s a time to evolve. They face many situations for the first time and, while they learn from the stumbles as well as from their successes, some issues need a parent’s perspective and guidance.</p>
<p>If my girl wasn’t entirely happy at school, was gnawing at her situation, needed us to encourage her to socialize or sit with others at meals, was up to three dance classes to “fill her satisfaction cup,” and started talking about moving to Sweden to be near some guy: I would hear the train a-coming. Frankly, I’d go on mom-alert, swing into action. </p>
<p>She is talking about a major change in her life, dropping out of a good college to move to another country- not for an academic or avocational opp. For a bf. Not a serious, age-appropriate, time-tested relationship with at least the minimum markers that it’s worth it. She’s not talking about leaving because she’s going to take a major internship, start a business or volunteer in Africa. Nothing that says, I know what I am doing and the risks. </p>
<p>I wouldn’t be afraid of interfering or “getting in the way” of her relationship or “alienating” her (words OP has used.) I would be afraid she was headed for a nose-dive. I would be respectful, loving, supportive and calm-- not all nicey-nicey, afraid of her reaction, walking on eggshells. I would definitely be wearing my mom hat. </p>
<p>Why do I get the impression OP is so afaid of her dau’s reaction that she’s willing to just hope things work out for the best?</p>
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<p>I will take a stab.</p>
<p>PMs, “Private Messages”, are just that, private, and the existence or contents of a PM must not be discussed on a public forum.</p>
<p>In this case the PM’s I received were personal responses to my posts here that contained no private or sensitive information and would have been more appropriate for the main thread. By PMing most answers the entire group misses out on the thread moving forward as everyone can see the response, and further member responses are often based on the OPs continuing public participation.</p>
<p>I understand and support the use of PMs for those things we don’t want to share or don’t feel the entire group needs to know. I use them myself from time to time. In this case the thread has not moved forward in a way that it could have based on the OPs use of PMs for response.</p>
<p>Blueiguana, I had the exact same experience. Agree that a response that is not personal, sensitive or is better served on the open forum as it is a general answer to a question or comment made on the thread is better served to be posted on the thread.</p>
<p>Why would anyone care how the OP puctuates? Some people are either on the boards too much or this must be their only way of releasing their pent up anger. Does it really matter? Please don’t answer that it was not a question.</p>
<p>The OP came here to seek advice and once again the thread goes down the tubes because one or two posters just can’t keep their own anger issues under check. Faux wanted advice or she wouldn’t have come to an on line forum to seek advice from strangers. Now your picking on her on line name and trying to dissect meaning in that. There should be a group of posters on this forum who change careers and become private investigators so they could live in drama chasing down cheating spouses, and other unsavory charactors.</p>
<p>I don’t think questioning the OP’s punctuation is an attempt at insulting the OP. Instead, I think it was mentioned to test the sincerity and truthfulness of the OP’s posts, since the question of trollness has been bubbling under the surface. She claims to be highly educated, as well as her daughter, and then she continually uses improper punctuation because she’s “artistic.” It does come across as disingenuous and arrogant. I’m sure her daughter’s Harvard application had correct punctuation.</p>
<p>Actually, the punctuation thing might have been an appropriate PM, an offsides question someone wanted to toss at OP. </p>
<p>Thanks for the info, Blue. Because, now I see why OP seemed to not be picking up on the ideas in some posts here.</p>
<p>I also don’t see the question as an insult. But, in this context, considering that she sidestepped to PMs, the punc issue made it look like she’s in her own world. Sorry.</p>
<p>Faux, my first post in this thread… </p>
<p>Hugs to you. This must be so stressful.</p>
<p>Study abroad in Sweden sounds like a possibility she might look into.</p>
<p>I think this might be a whim that she hasn’t fully thought through.
Is she planning on a 90 day tourist visa?
[U.S</a>. State Department - travel - Sweden](<a href=“404 - Page Not Found”>404 - Page Not Found)
For the summer? And then what? (I suppose if she married him she would be allowed to stay longer. This thought might make me want to say that a 90 day visit sounds like a reasonable plan.) I would imagine she can come up with the money for the plane ticket, but where will she stay when she is there and how will she eat? Does she have a plan for this?</p>
<p>I think it is not good to harshly criticize the relationship. It is probably youthful infatuation but maybe not - maybe this is the man she will spend the rest of her life with. I would suggest that Mom and Dad not be to critical of him as a person. He is probably a wonderful kid. Don’t turn D and Swedish B against you and your family, causing a rift that could take years to heal, just in case this is truly her life long soul mate. </p>
<p>I think investigating what would be required to take a leave of absence for fall semester might be a good exercise. I am with thumper1 that if this were my daughter, I would encourage her to finish the academic year. If she is really not happy at Harvard, I would encourage her not to withdraw now. She can withdraw later if she wants to. Making plans for taking a leave of absence for the fall semester will let her see that she is not “stuck” there. (She could live at home or with a relative and work at a mundane job next fall, or she could go to a community tech program and learn to be a network expert or a chef or a designer - take some courses in a certificate program that doesn’t preclude her from heading back to Harvard if she decides she wants to.)</p>
<p>So many of us putting in our two cents here! I hope at least some of our ideas are helpful.</p>
<p>Well, when posters want to turn CC into an online version of Dear Abby, they open themselves up to all opinions. Everything, within the rules of CC, is fair game. If punctuation is unusual, or someone is inconsistent or fictional about various family members, it’s going to be noticed and commented upon.</p>
<p>The PMs are annoying and I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask the OP to keep the discussion on the thread.</p>
<p>If the OP thinks the D’s relationship with the young boyfriend is platonic, I would like to interest her in a land purchase!</p>
<p>^ Or, that this is nothing more than a typical gap from college or a chance for a shy girl to spend time with a person she connects with or travel or grow up.</p>