<p>For those using the “if you’re children see you break one law, they’ll think it’s ok to break others…”</p>
<p>Have you ever driven over the speed limit with you’re kids in the car? At all, on the highway passing that slow car, or “keeping up with traffic”, or…?</p>
<p>I see no problem with a 20 year old having one glass of wine with dinner or one beer during a game, at home with his parents, providing he is not driving for 2 - 3 hours afterward since blood alcohol for under-21 is zero. As for breaking the law, check with your state (online, probably) to see if it’s legal for parents to allow children to consume alcohol in their own home.</p>
<p>Thank goodness we didn’t have to deal with that situation, since we don’t drink in the first place, (except wine for the religious holidays) and therefore, we didn’t keep any alcohol (again, except a bottle for specific occasions) on hand. The kids can now drink legally, so it’s not an issue, but when they were in Canada and Europe, it wasn’t a problem, except when it came time to bringing wine back from their trips, and in that case, at that time, I instructed the older one to bring it back with him instead of having the younger sibling travel with it.</p>
<p>If my parents said that I can’t drink alcohol in moderation at home because doing so is illegal (I’m not sure if it is - the laws differ state to state), I would lose a lot of respect for them, as intellectuals, and specifically when they tell me not to do something else because it is illegal. I don’t believe following the law is an a priori imperative, as we all know that some laws are unjust to the degree that they morally ought to be disobeyed (obviously, underage drinking laws are not one of them.) Since the risk of getting arrested for underage drinking in your own home, without there being a disturbance, is close to nil, they provide no legitimate justification (other than the faulty argument of “It’s illegal”) for why I should not be able to drink in moderation in my own home.</p>
<p>If you don’t want kids drinking in your home, think of a better reason for why they shouldn’t be doing that other than pointing out the supposed illegality of the act.</p>
<p>But the consensus that driving after drinking should be absolutely off-limits is correct.</p>
<p>Even though my kids and their friends are 21+, they still have DD’s (designated drivers) everytime they go out, even if its to a friend’s home.</p>
<p>My 23-year-old and my 18-year-old are both home now. My 23-year-old will have a beer with a friend when the friend drops over. My 18-year-old doesn’t. I’m sure he drinks when he’s at school, but the rule in our house has always been, not until you’re 21.</p>
<p>Edit: I think it’s a stupid rule, however, but I agree: I’ll accept the legal definition of when they can drink.</p>
<p>I’m a high school senior and my parents have allowed me to drink as long as I do in their presence and at home. When my father first gave me wine to drink when both of my parents were drinking it with their dinner, he actually explained to me a lot about alcohol. My mother agreed, as she knows that I can probably get it in college or outside of the home but preferred for me to do it under her eyes where she could explain everything so I don’t do anything stupid when my parents aren’t there and I’m drinking.</p>
<p>The laws concerning this vary by state, as others have said. I think it’s possible to both allow such a thing, and set an example, by explaining the law and following it. For example, it is legal in my state for me as a parent to allow my underaged children to drink, but it is not legal, as far as my understanding, to provide that for other minors. So I could say to my son, “You can have peer guests at this party we’re planning, but of course, none of you can drink at it, because it would be rude to allow you to but not your friends. If you would like to have a cocktail at this party, we would have to exclude your friends as guests. You can decide which you would prefer.” </p>
<p>That may seem convoluted, but in our household, we honor both the law and courtesy about such things.</p>
<p>My S will be 21 in Feb. He makes no bones about the fact drinking goes on in his off campus apt. at school. He has never asked to drink in our home nor have we offered it to him. H drinks a beer occasionally but rarely around the kids. When S is home to visit he is constantly out driving from one place to another with friends so we would never offer it.</p>
<p>Well I had my first drink at a dinner party where my parents were present, I was 13. We dont have beer in the house but we do have wine and stuff. My mother allows me to drink in the house only if she is present, which is weird for me so I dont’ do it. For the past 4 years I have had many outside drinks without my parents acknowlegement. I know they know I do it, but it hasn’t gone up to the point where I have had a mean hang over or have been passed out. Whenever I go out to parties all they say is “becareful and dont get yourself killed”.</p>
<p>It’s not illegal in California and we allow our son to have a drink with us if he chooses (he’s 18). Generally he does not, because he’s not fond of alcoholic beverages, but does like the occasional Smirnoff Ice or some sweet beverage like a Snowball (very low in alcoholic content) during the holidays. Never, ever before driving, of course.</p>
<p>I remember when he was 10 and the French offered him some champagne on Bastille Day. He had a sip and passed it up for a “Coca” (Coke).</p>
<p>Does every college student really drink alchohol? Maybe I’m just naive, but I’m 19 and have no intrest in alchohol at all.</p>
<p>Don’t let your son or daughter go to college having never drank. They will get there, be overwhelmed/pressured, and end up dropping out or becoming an alcoholic. Not in all cases, of course.</p>
<p>i’ll assume that post is a joke…</p>
<p>I too believe that it’s important to understand the effects of alcohol on the system before leaving for college. Our girls are not drinkers, but before they went to college we had them drink some fruity wine coolers in our home so that they could see how it affected them. The pressure to drink in college is pretty intense and knowing your limits is important. D1 says that she used to walk around with the same wine cooler all night at parties. After her first semester, she grew tired of even going to parties where “beer pong” was the main form of amusement. Drunken humor is only funny to those who are drunk and after seeing how stupid people become when they’ve been drinking, she rarely goes to “frat parties” anymore.</p>
<p>Which post is a joke? The one above you, lol.</p>
<p>I have to agree with the posts above - whatever you do, DO NOT send your kid off to college with little/no alcohol experience. I’m a college graduate (22 now), and, let me tell you, the drunkest kids in my dorm freshman year were the ones who never drank in high school. I’m not promoting excessive alcohol consumption in high school, but, at the same time, there is no doubt that the kids who went the craziest with alcohol freshman year were the ones who never had experience with alcohol. </p>
<p>Just as an FYI - my roommate freshman year of college had a rather overprotective mother. Every time my roommate’s mother called she’d ask her in an accusatory manner if she was drinking… let me tell you, her mother would have been happy if her daughter was just drinking if she had known all of the other things her kid did. </p>
<p>College is about freedom… but if parents don’t give their kids any of that before they leave, they tend to understandably go nuts. Let’s not forget Europe… in the US, it’s the taboo of underage drinking that causes such a crazy/irresponsible culture around it</p>
<p>yeah, not yours soccer_guy lol. I know people who don’t drink for whatever reason. But whatever stats they come up with are never going to be right about what % of students drink.</p>
<p>In my state (Ohio), it is legal for parents to give alcohol to their kids in public, private, whatever, as long as they are present and the minors do not exceed the legal BAC limit. My parents have always been very open about this and thus have taught me the values of drinking in moderation. When alcohol is strictly regulated, most of the time it starts to have a “forbidden fruit” aura, which is why those kids who were never taught to drink responsibly are the ones who end up drinking to get drunk and endanger themselves by putting themselves at risk of getting alcohol poisoning. These kids also cannot come to their parents about troubles that may be related to alcohol, which just builds a wall of mistrust and secrecy and the inability to communicate.</p>
<p>Honestly, it’s better for them to learn about it with you than with peers.</p>
<p>let them drink</p>