<p>alcohol is fun</p>
<p>My parents have never allowed me to drink due to religious reasons. They, of course, hate alcohol and anything related to it. This has been specially frustrating, as anything forbidden proves to be. Especially since the religious reasons they are so fond of are unimportant to me, I cared about them when I was younger but a few years ago I began thinking with my own head and started resenting them, probably not because they are bad or stupid, but simply becuase these rules were forced upon me. Being able to make my own decisions is in fact one of the reasons why I am so enthusiastic about studying abroad, I just can’t think I could stand living another year with my parents and all the things I have to do to please them.</p>
<p>Don’t get me wrong, my parents are really nice. The only mistake they have made is forcing me to do the things they believe are correct. This same reason made my two older brothers study abroad, where they are as happy as they could and though hold no grudges towards my parents (who are otherwise great) would not trade their freedom for anything.</p>
<p>I started drinking alcohol with my friends without my parents knowing so. Of course, it was only every now and then, without any serious consequences. They caught me a bit woozy once though, and you can’t imagine how awful the next couple of weeks were. Now I’ve given up on doing things on the sly, I’ve figured I’ll just wait a couple of months more until I’m in college, very far away from my parents, with no worries about being caught or of displeasing them.</p>
<p>Mind you, I don’t think drinking is the greatest thing in the world,or that I’ll drink irresponsibly. I just want to make my own decisions. Don’t you think that’s fair?</p>
<p>My son doesn’t drink, doesn’t have any real desire too, but I realize that he’s in the minority. (He’s 19) I also never worried about drugs since taking an advil was a rare occurance and he shunned any help for ADHD with medication and was able to handle it on his own. He just doesn’t like mind altering things. And although he might be in the minority at college, many of his friends from high school, and they come from all walks of life, suburbs, inner cities, etc., don’t drink much either or at all. As one young man told me maybe I have an overdeveloped conscience but watching guys and gals get drunk every week, act stupid, blame the alcohol for everything, throw up every weekend, etc. I can’t see why the attraction to it. Having a beer watching a game is fine, but drinking to get to the state of passing out, seems like an escape or illness to me. Wise words, but it takes for many, many more years to see that.
I wouldn’t object if my son wanted a glass on wine with dinner, but I wouldn’t have drinking in my home, re a party or something like that. I saw dire consequences with that when teens drove home drunk from a house party where the parents thought, “better here than somewhere else”.</p>
<p>Like packmom’s son, I never asked my parents for a drink at home until I turned 21. They gave me sips of wine occasionally if they were drinking it, and that was enough. To be honest, since I didn’t wait until I was 21 to drink at school, waiting until it was legal to do it at home made it a little more special for me.</p>
<p>Although I agree with the posters who have said that young people should not be sent off to college without a knowledge of the effects of alcohol, I don’t think it’s necessary for them to acquire this knowledge through the personal experience of consuming alcohol and experiencing its effects on their bodies.</p>
<p>After all, we don’t do this for marijuana, cocaine, and other drugs, do we?</p>
<p>I’m 17 and have no desire to drink. My parents drink and I know I could have an occasional drink on vacation etc but I choose not to. I’m really not a believer in aquiring a taste for something that I dislike. My cousins is 19 and a sophomore in college. His folks would never let him have a drink at home or when our families are out, even though they know he drinks at school. He resents this. Our family friends on the other hand let their sophomore in college drink a bit at home. They don’t want it to be an underground thing. Bottom line, my cousin drinks a “lot” when he gets a chance. Our friend drinks moderately in college…to her it’s just not that big a deal. It’s only a small example but from what I’ve seen…I’d let him have a drink once in a while. I hope when I get to college that my decision not to drink will not be the shocker it is in high school. When i ask about substance free housing on some college tours, the guide looks at me like I have asked if I can carry a rifle!</p>
<p>My daughters don’t drink and they don’t care if someone looks at them weird. Why is alcohol something that you HAVE to experience? Why is a “rite of passage?” I hated it in school, made me woozy and sick and I nursed a drink all night until I realized I didn’t have to “fake it” to be accepted. It doesn’t really serve a purpose, eats up a LOT of money and causes many heartaches. If you want to drink, fine, but don’t make it seem like it is something you have to do to have a good time.</p>
<p>When you can get married, vote, and go off to war at 18, it’s ridiculous you can’t have a drink until you are 21. I’d rather see the drinking age changed to 18 or 19 but that’s never going to happen… I think responsible alcohol use is what we should be teaching our kids. The allure of having to wait until they are 21 to go out and do 21 shots is not one I hope my kids do. I would rather they use alcohol in moderation. And I agree with the poster that those that have no experience or freedom in hs, go the wildest at college - that was certainly what I saw too when I was in college. So do I serve my 17 year old alcohol at home - No. We will allow her to taste our drinks, etc and have many discussions about responsible drinking. We know parents who allow kids to drink in their home and will provide alcohol to them -I certainly don’t agree with that. I am not naive enough to think that either of my kids won’t drink in college. So I’d rather when they came home that they would feel comfortable talking about it and yes, I think I would enjoy having a glass of wine or a beer with one of my kids when they are home from college. I think you need to find some sort of middle ground.</p>
<p>My family is very intolerant of alcohol. I was raised to believe that drinking (particularly to excess) was wrong and generally immoral. On Jewish holidays (like every Friday night) we would have a sip of wine ceremoniously - but that was the extent of it. There was almost never alcohol at family events, etc. While this sent me a strong message, and I didn’t drink at all in high school, when I got to college and suddenly there were no parents, I had, well, a bit of a culture shock about the drinking culture. Suddenly I realized that people did drink sometimes (even to excess) and they were still good people, and were pretty much fine the next day. In retrospect, I kind of wish that I’d been raised to appreciate a healthy level of drinking (for instance, a glass of wine with dinner), instead of being introduced to it at age 18 with people doing five shots of vodka in a row in some freshman’s dorm room.</p>
<p>I agree some kids do go wild in college, but they are “usually” the ones that were planning on it. Some count the days until they are away from mom and dad…those you can’t control. But many don’t drink and substance free housing, for what it is worth, is popular on many campus’s. My niece never drank in high school, had some beers in college, but kept it under 3 glasses and usually had 1 at parties. She was in a college that had a lot of frats but learned to enjoy her college experiences sober and still had fun. She feels it helped keep her average up and when she graduated with honors, felt that her non-drinking helped her have more study time, but I’m sure there are a lot of students that can do both. I just cringe everytime I hear of deaths, drop-outs and accidents with college students that can only find fun in drinking to excess.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This is ridiculous, this is not the way people, especially young adults rationalize things. If your kids are/were going to smoke weed while in college, giving your approval for having a drink with the family would not change this. </p>
<p>This isn’t really an issue of sending mixed messages, this is an issue of how mature you think your kids are. Chances are, since you have not spent any time teaching them about alcohol use, they binge heavily in college.</p>
<p>quote: "Although I agree with the posters who have said that young people should not be sent off to college without a knowledge of the effects of alcohol, I don’t think it’s necessary for them to acquire this knowledge through the personal experience of consuming alcohol and experiencing its effects on their bodies.</p>
<p>After all, we don’t do this for marijuana, cocaine, and other drugs, do we?"</p>
<p>Message to Marian: Alcohol is legal; cocaine, marijuana, etc. are not or else by prescription only. And alcohol is readily available in college in a way that the other drugs (hopefully) are not. Considering the number of 21 yr olds in college who can legally buy it -and therefore think it is OK to serve it- one has to teach one’s children how to be responsible. We decided to allow it in the house, so it’s not forbidden fruit and thus all the more tempting.</p>
<p>I agree with Skraylor…
You’ve raised your kid for 20 1/2… it would be pointless to try and stop her/him to drink at this point. It would be his choice to do whatever when he starts college.
However, I personally think that the best way to prevent any crazy nights for the kid, is to sit down, have a drink with your kid, and teach him how to drink responsibly along with having a good time before your kid departs.
For example… teach him when to stop, or not to mix things, etc.</p>
<p>21 is a good legal age for alcohol… But I’m a true believer that even a 50 old man can worse alcohol habits than a 17 year old teenager … Age really doesn’t matter as long as the child learns how to drink responsibly.</p>
<p>No drinking in my house until you hit 21. I have no desire to get into a power struggle with a kid who is fueled by alcohol when I decide he has had too much. Why would I want to add yet another behavior that I would then have to monitor on a person screaming for independence? Ugh.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t just because it’s better your kids stay away from alcohol completely. I think it’s best that once of legal age you allow your son if he choses, but advise him not to get used to it, as it wouldn’t be advisable to make a habit of it :-).</p>
<p>I know a lawyer that sees a lot of drunk driving and other issues with teens. He says sometimes that one or both parents are also heavy drinkers (but would never admit it) and rationalize that “the kid is going to drink, so I let him”. He wouldn’t advise it. If he a teen wants to drink, he’ll drink, but why drink more in college unless he is a follower or someone that it prone to do things like that? I never worried about my son, but if he had been different, I probably would have handled it differently. I asked hm once if he was lonely sometimes in high school, not doing certain things and opting to stay home,and he said, “Once in a while, but it beats doing something I don’t want to do”. For that, I thanked God everyday. Now my girls are in high school and I’m waiting…so far, so good. It’s always an adventure.</p>
<p>NJ-mother, I may have been a little too defensive when I said that I don’t think it’s necessary to teach kids about alcohol by insisting that they drink some and feel its effects. With my two kids, teaching in this way would have been impossible.</p>
<p>One of my children was on a medication incompatible with alcohol at the time when he left for college, so he couldn’t learn by experiencing the effects of drinking. Several years later, when the medication was discontinued (and, as it happens, he was 21), he turned into an occasional, moderate drinker. </p>
<p>My other child vehemently objects to drinking alcohol, although there is no medical reason why she can’t drink. Getting her to try alcohol would require coercion. I have more respect for her than that.</p>
<p>There are other ways of teaching, and I don’t think I was a bad parent for not teaching my kids about alcohol in the way that others in this thread have suggested.</p>
<p>There should be a FEDERAL law that says if you purchase, serve, allow alcohol to be served in your home to minors, then you are held responsible and will suffer the consequences and we can start with revocation (permanent) of the parent’s driver’s licenses, cancellation of auto insurance, seizure of assets etc.</p>
<p>All these liberals think its more important to be perceived as “cool parents” and “friends of the kids” instead of PARENTS and LAW ABIDING ADULTS.</p>
<p>I say, “lock em up.”</p>
<p>^That is probably the most extreme and ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I really hope that suggestion was not serious as it was seriously single-minded.</p>
<p>I was never served alcohol in the home and the only time my parents have ever let me drink was in Mexico and Belize on a cruise where it was perfectly legal for me as an 18 year old. I respect their decisions to do that and I will likely do the same with my own children. I was happy though for cruise experience because I had never had alcohol up until that point and I wanted to have it first around my parents, people that I know and trust.</p>
<p>I respect everyone else’s decisions and think that some state’s decisions to allow alcohol to be served by parents in the home is perfectly safe. I also do think that the “scare tactics” previously employed by many programs to discourage drinking are seriously dated and think that our country is moving in the right direction to develop responsible drinkers.</p>
<p>Because the federal government isn’t already given too many responsibilities they’re not entitled too…Since when are booze laws and driver’s licenses the domain of the federal government?</p>