<p>deleted because I somehow responded to myself instead of the intended poster</p>
<p>Every time I see a kid acting like this, I think of the sign I saw once that read, “Hire a teenager while he still knows everything.”</p>
<p>:)</p>
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<p>Interesting that you categorize the girl’s behavior as “cruel,” but excuse your own attitude as being of the “knucklehead” kind and naturally associated with being young, though presumably the girl was also young.</p>
<p>I find both her action and your reaction to be EQUALLY cruel. Hopefully, as you claim, it was the result of being young, and not evidence of your actual character, which I don’t think necessarily changes as a result of aging chronologically.</p>
<p>To be honest, it’s pretty depressing to me. I feel like a failure when I can’t communicate with young people and I’m willing to be pretty hands-off till they grow up. I am not willing to be called names. However, that didn’t happen in the end. A misunderstanding.
: (</p>
<p>I’m taking a break.</p>
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<p>I believe there was ONE poster who proposed some kind or far out scheme to make kids register in order to have sex or some other (imo) nonsense, but it was only one, which SWWYD knows very well. His statement as written was very disingenuous, imo.</p>
<p>This was in the paper tonight from a downstate uni and I think as awncetc and I were trying to say is that it isn’t a criminal system - colleges are just not set up to act as a criminal system and expulsion is a last resort and even then the colleges have to be very careful that the evidence is there from both sides and the process meets constitutional rights.</p>
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<p>There’s alot of finger pointing on these types of threads. And he’s right, there’s alot of drunk sex on campuses and the girls are right in the thick of it. Ask your kids. It’s not very neat and tidy. I remember they finally forbade grinding at the high school dances when one of the kids was in high school. It starts young. </p>
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<p>But why is he labeling certain people “rape victim advocates”? Shouldn’t EVERYONE be “rape victim advocates”? By definition, a “rape victim” has been raped. Why would anyone be against a rape victim unless one is actually a raging misogynist? Or parent or friend of a rapist who wants the world to believe there is no such thing as acquaintance rape and that the only thing which qualifies as rape is the proverbial stranger who comes out of the bushes variety?</p>
<p>My concrete solutions:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Lower the drinking age to the later of 18 or the September 1 following 18th birthday. College age kids are legal, high schoolers are not. But only for beer and wine. Booze is still 21. Legal regulated drinking is better than illegal unregulated drinking.</p></li>
<li><p>To the extent the Feds allow under title ix, rape is just for real cops and real courts.</p></li>
<li><p>If colleges still want to deal with rape (or the Feds keep insisting that college deal with rape), then full due monty process is required. Counsel provided free of charge to accused and accuser; discovery; cross-examination; independent fact finder, independent appellate arbiter, etc. etc. etc. Expect tuitions to rise even more.</p></li>
<li><p>When faced with rape, colleges strongly encourage victims to go to hospital/police immediately. </p></li>
<li><p>Colleges can still adjudicate sub-rape allegations so long as the penalties are sub-expulsion. If you are not dealing with the highest offense and the highest penalty, lesser procedures can be OK. Grabbing some butt may be “sexual assault” but it is not anything like rape. </p></li>
<li><p>Colleges focus on bystander intervention, awareness, buddy systems, risk minimization, prevention, etc.</p></li>
<li><p>Colleges leave the definition of how loud/how often the Yes has to be to SNL’s sketch writers.</p></li>
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<p>I particularly like how kids don’t think “old people” have ever seen something like what is going on nowdays despite the fact that nothing ever really changes, and despite the fact that most of us have kids who are in college. Not only in college, but who often share a lot of info. Then there are parents like me who occasionally go to bars, apartment parties, and even frats because friends (or kids of friends) are in the band that is playing. I’d say personally I have as good an idea of what happens these days in college as a college kid does. </p>
<p>Well, alh I think you just may have accomplished what you wanted to with a poster.</p>
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<p>This is where I disagree. If Yes is Yes becomes the real standard, as seems to have been the case in California, kids need to know how to act on it. Some professor or parent volunteer who agrees with Yes is Yes should roleplay that out to the kids so that the kids may learn to emulate it. As stated right now it’s completely confusing. How loud/how often may not be a joking matter if that lands someone in jail for not understanding instructions and inadvertently committing rape. No means No is easy to implement, but Yes means Yes is not.</p>
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<p>What does this even mean?!</p>
<p>shush shush shush shush</p>
<p>listen a while</p>
<p>or else everyone will have to just talk over you and around you</p>
<p>Sometimes I think we invented fun. But then I remember some of my mother’s tales. And photos. And I’ve got one girl who ventures into TMI, so I know it continues. But this has been about sexual assault, incl rape, which is not “fun.” From the time mine were younger, we were talking about choices, responsibilities, how to stay alert and more. </p>
<p>Btw, D1 told me there is a new nail polish that can detect ruffies in a drink. </p>
<p>So the guys who are so wasted can figure out they are playing with women, but they can’t figure consent. Then too bad for the guys.</p>
<p>I am glad to read the woman on the guy thing is not really an issue. </p>
<p>I am kind of a libertarian when it comes to what consenting adults do to each other in the privacy of their own places. (They can’t hurt each other). The key word is consenting. </p>
<p>There is too much drinking going on if you can’t control your body parts or your brain. If you are that loaded, hang around stuffed animals. Something that isn’t alive. Something you can’t hurt.</p>
<p>I really like greenwitch’s video yesterday. Addresses this issue of smashed out of your mind sex.</p>
<p>"But why is he labeling certain people “rape victim advocates”? </p>
<p>Because there actually are advocacy organizations and somewhere up there he explained very well how they work. They don’t run from that label at all, instead they embrace it and they have spokespeople that talk to the press about how important their cause is and conduct studies to prove it. That’s advocacy. It doesn’t make everyone else a rape supporter though. </p>
<p>marie, imo EVERYONE should be a “rape victim advocate.” Why would ANYONE not be?! Rape victims have by definition been raped. </p>
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<p>However, how one does something does matter, as it sets an example of mature behavior.</p>
<p>I find it interesting that people label someone immature, then turn around and act the same. It does not display maturity to shout someone down, especially someone who may be 1/2 or 1/3 your age; however, it does display maturity to let that person speak, disagree vehemently and you then respond back and not even worry if they agree with you on anything or not. </p>
<p>I have seen this before in several venues. I taught my kids about handling these situations and one of DS’s teachers got a rude awakening when he tried a similar shout down because he did not agree / did not like an argument my DS made and mentioned doing a couple things about it. Even told my DS to stop saying that stuff. My DS responded just as I told him, “Fine as long as whatever you do you can explain clearly to my Dad.” Nothing happened, DS kept talking his ideas the rest of the year, and got an A in the class. Adults who shout down young people back off fast when they realize a real no nonsense adult has no problem entering the ring in defense of the young person.</p>
<p>I hope this does not occur again cause makes us adults who do not mind hearing and reading things we do not like, even off-the-wall things, look petty too. SWDY, rest assured not all adults are petty and never be afraid to speak regardless of what an older person says to you - and this is advice from an older person. </p>