DH and I met working summer theater. He was production stage manager and I was house manager.
DD and SIL met at work…waited 5 years to get married.
DS is would make someone here a great significant other!!
@thumper1 Post his resume!
I married at 30. Met H thru a mutual friend. We broke up a few times. Child at 32 and at 34.
I knew I wanted children, so I did have some anxiety about getting married before I was too old, but told myself that I would have a child on my own at 38 if I didn’t meet anyone to marry before then.
I never had trouble meeting men and going on dates. The problem was meeting someone I wanted to marry. I have wondered what I would do to meet men if I were to be single again. (If I wanted to meet anyone—I think now I might choose to be alone.) I think I’d put myself out there in different activities I enjoy that are coed: sports, volunteering, church groups, fundraising for various causes, political volunteering. I am pretty shy and nerdy, so I do better meeting people over a shared activity. Bars and parties aren’t good for me because I am too shy and tongue tied.
One of my brothers married for the first time at forty. He went to a college reunion and reconnected with a woman who had been a friend. As full fledged adults, they appreciated each other more than before.
@Lizardly That is my advice to my Ds. It isn’t for the faint of heart, but if they get to their mid to late 30s and want kids with no partner in sight, I am supportive of that decision.
My oh my, my violin is … H and I were a generation ahead- we met (in a hospital doctor’s lounge in private practices)and married in our early 30’s. Sister’s kids married in their early 30’s (but were together several years prior). Son is like parents- 29 and no sign of a girlfriend yet. His personality and lack of women around his workplace contribute.
I guess most people do the relationship/marriage thing, most of my college friends did not, the medical school ones after graduation. Most are average (ie in the middle of that Bell curve) for all sorts of variables- culture, religion, education… Not me.
We met in law school and married 36+ years ago at 26.
S1 was introduced to his wife by her cousin, a high school friend of his. Met at 30 (him) and 33 (her), married at 32 and 35, had my GS 3 months ago at 33 (him) and 37 (her).
S2 met his serious GF on Bumble - he was almost 30 (now almost 32) and she was 26 (now 28). We think this will be permanent, but he is in no rush to get married.
D is 29 and single, but would very much like to meet someone. She’s not really worried, yet, given the example of her SIL and an aunt who married at 39 and had 2 kids at 40 and 42.
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I’m wondering if I’m the only one who married “early” on here
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DH and I married at 24. 
S and D are in their mid 20’s. S has a good career and healthy social life but no GF for a few years now. D is finishing grad school and sometimes I think she feels the pressure to be in a relationship and marry soon. Their cousins in the same age bracket married within 2 years of each other and 3 of them are now new parents or are expecting. As long as they’re happy, I’m happy.
Dh and I met through a mutual friend (actually, my bf at the time but we broke up soon after, unrelated to my dh).
D1 has been in a serious relationship for 2+ years and this could be it. She’s 28 and this is really her first serious (longer than 6 months) relationship.
D2 has dated and had some short term relationships but I don’t get the sense she’s ever really “loved” anyone she’s dated thus far.
D3 had just had one 6 month relationship before and now has been dating her current person for about 5 months. My guess would be that this is not “THE” one but she’s having fun so I’m happy for her.
I dated quite a bit starting in about 9th grade. It’s been interesting to see how little my own kids have dated through HS, college and post-college.
To the OP, it’s always hard to see our kids hurting but kudos to her for seeing a problem and, if I understood correctly, recognizing it wasn’t one she believed could solved and had the strength and courage to make the best decision for her.
Husband and I met when he interviewed me for an associate position in a San Francisco law firm. I was hired, but he left to travel around the world for the next year or so. We married in our early 30s.
Different thought here. Aside from being in a relationship or marriage was there anything else on her list of to do’s? Does she have other interests and goals she wants to pursue? Further education, travel, save for a home or spending quality time focusing on an interest that she has? I would encourage her to pursue those things. Life is more than being in a relationship and when the time is right she will find the right person for her. It is ok to be single and enjoy the freedom of being alone and not fear it. She will not get this time again in her life. With marriage and kids will come more responsibilities that at this time she doesn’t have to worry about.
I say this as a mother of a daughter. In my 20’s I was pressured to get married by my parents and I ended up divorced and being a single mom at 32. It was very stressful for me. If I had a chance to do it all over again I would have taken the time to be the best version of myself and complete my education. I would have made sure I was at a point in my career where I had grown in my career and I felt financial secure and mentally ready for marriage and a family.
It is better to be single and at times feel alone then to be in an unhappy marriage and feel lonely. I’m not saying all marriages turn out that way but for my own daughter I am not worried about her marriage. I am more concerned about her wellbeing and being able to financially take care of herself. I don’t want her marrying the wrong man just for the sake of getting married or that she feels she should marry the first one that comes along so that she can have kids. It’s important that the one she marries she feel that this is the one she could spend the rest of her life with. Life is a lot easier when you have a partner working with you during the good and bad times not against you.
Don’t let the relationship be her only identity. I hope in time she realizes that what happened was for the best.
My intention was not to offend in anyway.
I don’t know specifically how dating apps work these days, but a suggestion based on having met my H through an old-fashioned newspaper personal ad 25+ years ago: Perhaps suggest that a trusted friend help write her profile. They will see qualities in your D that she might not recognize and also might have a good idea of what she is looking for.
I say this because H’s younger brother wrote his ad for him! There is no way that my modest, somewhat shy H would have been able to “sell” himself the way BIL could. Sometimes a little distance helps to identify what is so special about someone and what traits might make a potential partner a solid match.
Oh my gosh @raclut, you didn’t offend anyone!
What you said has lots of truth in it I do think she’s trying to do those things that you can’t do while in a relationship. And I tell her all the time that she has made the right decision and not gotten married. She knows how unhappy that would have been.
So sorry your daughter is sad, @deb922 . The end of a relationship is always hard. Many of us were older when we married (I had just turned 31; had my kids at 33 and 37). Its also hard when she sees her friends marrying, but as others have said here, better to end a relationship before marriage/kids if it isn’t going to work.
I met my DH doing a mutually shared hobby (skiing). Thats what we are doing now, in fact, with the family.
D married her HS boyfriend at 24. We did not even envision her having a BF in high school, our priorities were that she do well academically (she did), have an activity/ies she enjoyed (she did), and have friends who were supportive (she did). But except for a short breakup when they went to colleges in different states, they have been together for almost 12 years (married 3+). She is almost 28 and only one other of her close HS friends is married.
I really like @raclut 's post # 89. I think you need to plan a life around things other than having a spouse/partner. One of our nieces is single, not in a relationship and recently bought a house (she is 27). That was something she wanted and I really applaud her for going ahead and doing that on her own rather than waiting.
I will also just say again, that @deb922 there is NOTHING wrong with wanting “it all” for our kids. “All” being happiness in most all aspects of life. Job, family, SO, friends, bank account, residence, etc. I will never apologize for wanting those things for my kids - and hope that they achieve most of them!
I married at 22 and H was 26. We had dated 5 years. Met sort of at church. Waited 7 years to have kids by our own decision. I always say I would never give up those 7 years. First baby at 29, last at 37 - H of course 4 years on top of that.
You’re a loving mom to want your daughter to have the aspect of a lasting loving relationship in her life.
I really hope everything works out for the best for your daughter. We as parents want our children to be healthy, happy and feel fulfilled in their life.
My brother just turned 35 this month and is single. He was in a relationship with a wonderful woman for about two years. My parents even flew over one weekend to meet both of them. My parents thought she was lovely. They too want to see their son settle down. After our parents came back they told us sisters that everything went well but then my brother had some hesitation. He felt that he sensed some differences and he was afraid that if those differences become a problem after marriage and then if a child was also involved he couldn’t put a child through a separation. (He was very young when I was going through my own challenges so I think he remembers what it was like and wouldn’t want to put a child through that. ) Being the youngest he has seen the experience of his elder sisters and has spoiled his nieces and nephews. My sister had a talk with him and said if something doesn’t feel right now listen to that voice because if you go forward with this relationship that intuition you have may not go away. He decided to end the relationship because he didn’t want to mislead her into thinking that things would progress further.
It’s tough out there but we have to remind our kids that there are so many others also in similar shoes. I am surrounded by friends with kids out of college. (22 to 35) So many announcements of engagements and weddings being planned. It’s so easy to think will anyone be left for my own child by the time she is ready. As I said before each of our children now young adults has their own journey of growth and experiences that will lead them to meeting new people.
I do know several couples that were friends in high school and then went their separate ways in college. Later when they started working they met up again and are now getting married.
Does she have a high school reunion coming up? You never know what opportunities might come up.
It is easier to start and end relationships before children are involved.
In our extended family, different teen to 30-olds are at different phases of life. The two eldest are married with kid(s), while some of the others have never had a serious relationship.
These days, many people are taking longer before they decide whether to marry and to whom.
On the 10 yr school reunion I went to the emphasis was heavily on divorce. That was just the 10 yr! (girls school though)