<p>My younger daughter dances (ballet) minimum 15 hours week, and has been for the last 3 years. She also plays piano, and has been with the same teacher since 5. She is exempted from doing PE (sport after school) because of ballet. The school has 1 hour to 1.5 hour conference period at the end of day before sport practice begins. </p>
<p>I requested for my daughter to be excused from the conference period to come home early to do her homework before she heads out for her ballet practice. It gives her a chance to do her homework, have some snacks, and practice her piano. Her piano teacher is completely booked this year, except Fri. She is a religious Jewish woman that normally doesn’t teach on Fri. She decided to make an exception for my daughter because of their history, except the lesson has to be early so she could be home before sundown. She is a great traditional, Russian teacher. She drives to student’s homes to give lessons, so she groups her lessons by town and we are the furthest from her.</p>
<p>Our daughter’s school is a private school, it just got a new Director for the high school this year. After meeting with her today (she only allotted half an hour for me in the middle of day), she told me she would only allow my daughter to be excused 50% of time, and Fri wouldn’t be one of those days. She told me to get another time for her lesson, even though I told her it was not possible, or get a different teacher.</p>
<p>My older daughter, with similar schedule at the same school, was excused from conference periods because she didn’t have sports after school either. The previous Director did not have an issue it. My younger daughter was also excused from conference periods 7th and 8th grade.</p>
<p>I am a bit upset by this because I feel the school is setting rules just for the sake of it, and rules were changed because of the new Director. Am I being unreasonable? We are going to pick her up early, but I am concerned she may be disciplined or expelled.</p>
<p>It doesn’t seem to me that you’re the one who’s being unreasonable. If I were you I would write a letter or e-mail to the Director (and cc: the Principal/Headmaster/Headmistress), laying out the situation exactly as you have done here and inquiring why your daughter is only being excused 50% of the time. (Did the Director give you a reason when you spoke to her?)</p>
<p>I suggest you buy her a nice cheesecake, and attach a little note regarding how important the piano lessons are to the overall quality of your daughter’s education.</p>
<p>She said she doesn’t like to make exceptions because then she would have to do the same for other students, so she just arbitrary decided we would compromise at 50%. When my older daughter did it 2 years ago, the school did not get a flood of requests from other students because most of them had sports after school, school bus didn’t leave until 3:30, no one was home…</p>
<p>Is anyone being excused for the whole thing. We requested something from our new principal, for our son, and he told us he wasn’t going to open that can of worms. I understood and moved on to the school board. I understand completely where the principal is coming from. She could have said no to any exception. If she allows it for you she has no basis to disallow it to others. Even if a bunch of people don’t rush to ask it is still a precedent.</p>
<p>I’m not sure what “conference” period is. I’d have to hear what that is to make any recommendation here. </p>
<p>I’ll gamble that maybe it is a homework period between classes ending and sports practice beginning or any other after school affiliated activity begins? If that is what it is…can’t your daughter do her homework there and then be picked up to be taken to ballet? By the same token, if it is just to do homework between classes and the school affiliated activities, can’t she do her homework at home as her ECs are not affiliated with the school? But I also can’t see why she can’t do them at school during this time (other than she can’t practice piano but she’ll just have to do that at night). However, I would ask for an exemption on Friday to attend piano lesson. </p>
<p>If conference period means something else…ignore what I wrote.</p>
<p>You should start to play hardball if your d is headed towards a performing arts career, or even to schools where her level of talent could result in substantial talent based scholarships and grants.</p>
<p>The practice/lesson issues for those with high levels of talent are not often understood by teachers, gc’s and administrators who have no background and no clue as to what it takes to be competitive if this is her intended choice of career pursuit.</p>
<p>If her grades are not an issue, an enlightened overview of the processes involved might sway the administrator. It might not. Academics are marginal considerations in most audition based performing arts admissions; most administrators and gc’s are unaware of this.</p>
<p>Many potential professional performers are homeschooled (and are still academically stellar amd highly competitive for the most selective colleges) because of school/practice, lesson issues.</p>
<p>I’m not advocating you home school her. Just be aware of the general lack of knowledge. A list of her acheivements, performance accolades, and development as a dancer may help for a follow-up meeting to restate your request, as would a written professional assessment from her teacher about her current level of talent and potential.</p>
<p>Give it a shot. You could also attempt an appeal to the next higher administrative level, but be prepared to go in “armed”.</p>
<p>I’m not advocating her academics suffer or the load be lightened, so please don’t misinterpret my comments.</p>
<p>I agree with you viola. When we weren’t satisfied with the answer from our principal we did just that. Appealed to the Superintendant and the school board. I guess the difference is I didn’t think the principal’s decision was unreasonable, I just didn’t agree with hit. I respected his decision and let him know I was taking it to the next level. He respected my decision.</p>
<p>I think you are being very reasonable. If the principal’s reason for not excusing your D is to avoid a “precedent”, it is ridiculous. Your D has a valid reason to be excused. If someone else has a reason just as valid, they should be excused too. Most of those “conference” periods are a waste of time anyway.</p>
<p>Also, obviously, there had already been a precedent with your older D, and the lack of conference hr in her schedule did not cause any problems for anyone…</p>
<p>Conference period is a time for kids to hang out, meet with teachers, and do some homework. My daughter doesn’t have everything she needs at school to do her homework, especially when she is working on a project. She also has her computer at home for her papers. Most nights she is not home from ballet until after nine.</p>
<p>She is a straight A student so far. She makes appointments to see her teachers early or during study period (notice study period is different than conference period) or before school starts. It is a private school. Like most dancers, she is also training on weekends.</p>
<p>Obviously you have never been in a situation where you managed people and if you let one do it you have to let them all do it. Precedent is a perfectly valid reason for not doing something that, if it happened on a wider basis, could be detrimental.</p>
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<p>There is a new Director who implements new rules and is now responsible for what happens. All precedents go out the window when there is a change of power. Perhaps the old director is out of a job for setting too many bad precedents…</p>
<p>No, the old director got promoted to assistant Headmaster. I welcome different views because I could see both sides and want to make sure I am not being unreasonable. I was very upset after my meeting with the Director because I really felt she didn’t really care about my daughter. It was her authority that mattered more. I manage a fairly large staff at work. I do bend the rule for different people - I would allow some people to work from home, but not others.</p>
<p>Oldfort, I feel for your dilemma. If you do not win your case, which part do you not want to lose?
I think the piano lesson is the battle I would want to pick so I would be willing to forgo 80% to get that 20% all Fridays.
Director is probably concerned that folks just want to get an early start on the weekend so I would be prepared to bring a letter from the piano teacher. (If your daughter has won any awards or if you have competition participation documents, bring them as well.)
Invest in a jump drive so your daughter can bring up to date work with her to school and use the library or teacher computer for work during the conference period on M-TH.
Just my .02. Good luck.</p>
<p>The driving issue as I see is whether the OP’s d intends to pursue dance as profession or in an audition based undergrad conservatory level program. If she intends to, then I would take it to the higher level. Again, most do not have the background to know the requirements to be competitive within the performance game, and the dedication, lesson/practice time and financial aspects of getting there. A key is to have them realize why this is critical to the OP’s d’s development if she is on that track.</p>
<p>If she is pursuing this avocationally, I see less need to request special consideration. I acknowledge a new top dog oftens means a reversal of existing policies and exemptions.</p>
<p>I am not sure where ballet will lead her yet. Her teacher seems to think she is quite good. My older daughter is continuing her dancing in college. The same instructor has said the younger one is probably more talented than her sister.</p>
<p>In case if anyone is wondering, we are not the kind of parents that ask for a lot of special treatments from school. Many parents ask to have their kids in special classes or request for certain teacher. We have rarely questioned the school’s policy and we have not asked the school to switch our kids from one class to another.</p>
<p>mominva - the school would not allow outside teacher to use their facility. We have asked.</p>
<p>Perhaps a call to the assistant Headmaster would be helpful:)</p>
<p>Oddly, in our public high school, if students have a last period study hall or a first period study hall (as juniors and seniors), they are NOT required to come to school. I find it odd that this private school can’t be more accommodating.</p>
<p>Agreed with Violadad, if this student is planning to pursue a career in the performing arts, I’d push the straw. If not, I would try to work out a compromise that would work.</p>
<p>Why can’t piano lessons be on a different day? Is it because of the dance commitment?</p>