Amusing Anecdotes From When Your Kids Were Little

Inspired by @abasket!

When my D was around the age of seven or eight, she was just starting to enjoy American Girl. One weekend we watched the Molly American Girl movie, set in the WWII era. In the film, there was a scene where one of the neighbor families had received news their son was killed in war. The neighbors rallied around and provided help, Molly’s mom made a casserole. My kids were fascinated by this show of neighborly support and asked why Molly’s mom was making a casserole, I explained that neighbors often help each other out in times of grief and joy, ie when a new baby is born, or somebody dies and a casserole is a very popular dish during those times. Moving on…

About six months later, I was in the kitchen preparing dinner and my younger S (aged about six at the time) came in to ask ‘whats for dinner?’ I said ‘casserole’.

Without missing a beat he said 'who died?" I was so puzzled and I said 'nobody. Why would you ask that?" He reminded me I had told him and his sister that when people die, neighbors might provide casseroles! :neutral:

Great story and great thread idea!!! I’ll add something later!!! :slight_smile:

Most of my great memories come from younger S from the pre-school era.

“Mom. You smell like a horse that’s been dead from winter until spring.” (I had just run)

“I’ll love you no matter how ugly you are!” Thanks, kid.

Me to S: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” S: “Bigger!” At least he’s done that!

And then the parenting nightmare. Guess his word choice during “What begins with F day?” That was a fun discussion with the pre-school teacher.

Big family Thanksgiving and someone announces “everyone sit down, time for Grace” to which 5 yr old whines “I don’t want grace, I want Turkey”.

We went out to eat at a Mexican restaurant and S19 ordered pizza off of the kids menu. It was as good as you would expect pizza to be at a Mexican restuarant. I told him that probably it wasn’t a good idea to get pizza in a Mexican restaurant, or tacos in an Italian restaurant.

Fast forward to a few weeks later. We live somewhere where internet has always been a challenge. At the time, we were using a Verizon hotspot, which still didn’t work half of the time. I’m cussing the wifi and trying to get it working. From the cheap seats I hear a little voice.

Hey dad.

Yeah?

Internet not working again?

Nope.

Maybe you shouldn’t be getting your internet from a cell phone store.

Well played.

When my D was very little she potty trained around 18 months, except for at night. Felt like she used pull ups forever. We tried everything from limiting drinks after a certain time, keeping her up a little longer, etc… I eventually gave up and figured eventually she’s stay dry through the night.

One morning, a year and half later, I was getting her up for bed and told her to go potty and I could see from the look on her face that she was peeing in her pull ups. I asked her why she didn’t get up to use the bathroom and she looked me square in the eye and told me that it was just easier to use the pull ups, and that she never liked to rush out of bed in the morning…

She never used a pull up again and I’m sure cursed us for months after ; )

My grandfather had died and it was our kids’ first funeral. On the way there we prepared them for it, telling them everything we could think of that would happen. The kids were awesome, though…

Middle son (now med school lad), tugged on my sleeve and said,

“Mommy, I know you told us everything but I have one question.”

“Sure buddy, what is it?”

“Why did they put Grandpa in a bathtub?”

He tried to whisper, but I heard a fair number of chuckles around us. Apparently we forgot one “basic!”

HaHa! His remind me of when my S was about 5. I was standing in the kitchen preparing dinner and talking to DH, as I caught sight of myself in the window, I sighed and said to Dh “I have to lose of of this weight” without missing a beat, S, who was at the kitchen table ‘reading’, looked up and said, in his best TV salesman pitch ’ YOU should try Nutrisystem!’ Hmmmm…

and then there was the time when we were walking down the street, and approaching us was a man smoking a cigarette, as he got closer my S stopped in his tracks and looked at the man and said ’ you’re gonna die!’ (I guess my message about smoking hit home, LOL) At that point, I wanted to die…I grabbed my son and shot down the street as if I was ‘gonna die’!

@Creekland Grandpa in the bathtub!

This thread is cracking me up!!!

When we told 2.5yo S1 that mommy was going to have a baby, without missing a beat, he asked “What’s daddy going to have?”

We were celebrating Chanukah, lighting the candles, and reading something S1 had brought home from religious school that had several phrases that began with “we are…” (repeated several times). S2, then 2yo, joined in with “We are Barney and the backyard gang. da da da da da da da”. It was the most familiar “we are…” phrase to him. Fortunately, we were videotaping at the time, so it’s saved for posterity.

When my now 27 yo daughter was 3 or 4, she loved Disney movies. A favorite was The Lion King. We were driving on the interstate and passed a dilapidated RV. From the back seat came, “Talk about your fixer upper!”

One of Son’s best friend in elementary school was a boy from Sri Lanka. During “tell us about your family” time, his friend revealed that their family were Buddhists. A little holy roller classmate then told him he’d go to hell. My son then applied his little legal/religious logic and told the holy roller kid that he hoped the holy roller kid would not die in Asia because then she would be going to Buddha hell.

When son was 3 we were visiting Orange County, CA and had gone to dinner with some relatives. We were heading back to our hotel along a main drag with many car dealerships when this little voice from the back pipes up " I think I want to buy a car". Totally out of the blue- never discussed cars at all.

A long time ago- at least two now closed- there were three stores in a row across town. Toys R Us for son, Best Buy for Dad and- for Mom, sigh, Cub Foods. Yup, I got to claim the grocery store.

Of course Mom did a nice shriek when 3 year old and Dad returned with a plastic snake from the Nature Center to scare me (I’m the one who got rid of spiders in the college dorm den back in the day). The things we do for our kids.

Talking with young D and S about pets, I told them that one day we might get a dog, but we can’t get a cat because I am allergic to them. D turns to S and says, “Don’t worry, after Mommy dies we’ll get the cat!”

My husband and I were making our bed early one Saturday morning when we heard one of our kids approaching our door to knock. Then we heard our daughter say: “Shhhh! _______ don’t go in there! They might be doing it!”
“Doing what?”
“You know, IT!”
In a scoffing tone, son replies: “Oh, _______, they don’t need to do THAT! They already have us!”

Ala @surfity’s post -

I steadfastly refused to get a dog for years and, instead, had baby after baby until I hit number 5. One day, D, who was about 7, said “Why can’t we get a dog now, Mommy?” Me: “I will leave if you get a dog.” D, without missing a beat, “Oh, Mommy, we’ll miss you but our dog can kiss us goodnight.”

Same D, at age 6, complaining about Hebrew school. “If you wanted me to believe in Hebrew school, you shouldn’t have let me watch Nature on PBS.”

When 3d son, child 4, was newly 3, we had to take him to a Wake. Usually, MIL would babysit but the deceased was a long time friend and neighbor of hers, so she came with us. She was sitting with the family. H was with his friends out back and I was nursing the baby. My son went up to the open casket, climbed on the kneeler, and, at the top of his lungs, exclaimed: “How in the world can Mr. X sleep with all this noise going on? Hey, wake up, Mr. X!” I wanted to die myself.

It’s nice and funny to see that kids are funny all over.

It was pouring rain, and my cousin, probably 3 at the time, wanted to go outside. My aunt said “You can’t go outside, you might catch pneumonia.”
A little while later the counsin said “Let’s go outside and catch pneumonia!”

When D19 was very young (not yet 4), I told her that when her grandmother’s grandmother was young, they didn’t have telephones. She asked “so how did they talk”, I told her that they wrote letters, and such. She looks at me and asks “but they had e-mail, right?”

She was about the same age when we were looking with her at wedding photos. She sees a photo of us under the Chuppah, and the Rabbi is at the beginning of the ceremony, holding a glass of wine. D19 asks “is he doing magic?”.

PS. While phones did exist that the time, there were no phones in the villages and shtetles where my great-grandparents lived.

I was spending the day with my cousin’s 3 year old daughter, so we went to a new park playground. An older woman approached her and commented on her cute shirt with a cat on it, and ask if she had a cat. Her reply, “Yes, but as soon as she dies, we are getting a dog” The woman gave me a look, like how could you teach a child something like that.

My son was almost 3 when they had a dress up day at school; I don’t remember if it was an occupation theme or what. My son wanted to be a doctor like his dad who is an OB, and of course had child sized scrubs. As we were getting ready to leave, he grabs his Cabbage Patch doll. I explained it was not a show and tell day, so the doll would have to stay home. “But mom, I want to deliver a baby.” I then had to explain how most 2-3 year olds did not know where babies came from. My kids made rounds with dad on weekend, so would visit the nursery window. Without missing a beat, my son replies, “Then I will do a C section!” I had to go into school with him and warn his teacher. I had this vision of him having a girl on the floor, playing doctor :blush: BTW, said son is now an OB/GYN just like dad!

My little boy applied to two different preschools. He interviewed at the 1st one and they had him engage in a standardized placement test, involving blocks and other props. He was later called to interview at the 2nd one and a short while after we arrived, I noticed the director who had taken him out to do the placement test was promptly returning with S in tow. I was puzzled and asked why she wasn’t administering the placement test. She said in her decades as a preschool director, she had never had a child (much less a 3-year-old) try to help her improve the national standardized test.

Later after we had an open house at that 2nd preschool, the teacher said, “Well, I have two little kids who are 3 going on 40, your kid is one of them.” It did describe him perfectly.

My D came home from preschool very distraught one day. She said, “It’s not fair! All the other kids are Japanese and Irish or Korean or something else. No one else is just one race (in her classroom indeed most of the kids were mixed ethnicities).” Happily she decided she was Chinese and Catholic and that suited her fine.

Our D was 2 when H’s grandmother died. In the middle of the wake, D asked very loudly, “why is that lady sleeping in that box?” I was mortified but it added some levity to a sad day.