Wilma Marie Voliva Black - put her face with her name:
http://abc11.com/society/readers-treated-to-94-year-olds-brutally-honest-obit-/1150041/
Interesting to read but horrible for her family! My father died recently and his death notice was prepared by his current wife’s daughter without any input by my sister and I. It contained many inaccuracies, commissions, and even typos. I wanted to let it slide but it almost instantly went online and was picked up by other online obituary services. Thank goodness there were people on the staff of the newspaper who would issue a correction without too much of a fuss! Now, I’m having a similar fight to correct mistakes on his death certificate. It boggles my mind how some people are so sloppy and cavalier about this sort of information, which will be out there, archived, forever!
If the line about Dave’s mistress is not true, I hope Dave sues the local ABC affiliate for defamation for reprinting the obit after it was pulled from the original site. The ABC Affiliate was on notice that it was pulled because of purported inaccuracies yet they proceeded to republish the most inflammatory bits anyway. Given that these people are not public figures and the only news value is entertainment/ titillation, that was irresponsible of the ABC station. I may be completely wrong – the station may have confirmed the accuracy of the mistress dig and other inflammatory facts – but from where I sit it looks like pretty irresponsible journalism. The lawyers are not going to be happy about the fact that they published something with (1) very little news value after (2) receiving notice that the subjects dispute the accuracy.
As far as this being a brutally honest obituary, who knows? This is someone’s truth, the writer’s truth, but maybe not necessarily the deceased woman’s truth. Just because someone puts in many negative comments doesn’t mean it’s honest. It sounds like someone has a serious axe to grind. Unless this was approved of, or written by the deceased, I think it is selfish and disrespectful, and the act of someone who is bitter. I didn’t read much about love of the deceased, by the writer. A lot of anger and desire for revenge in that writing.
I find it difficult to believe that the deceased would have wanted that death notice to be printed, even if every word in it is true. The newspaper would have done the family a favor by refusing to print it.
I couldn’t get past the second paragraph. Was that an obit or the intro to a really bad novel?
I think it was written by Dave’s estranged wife.
16 “known” grandchildren.
If she was married in '39, chances are her oldest could be 75 now. Does sound to me like it could have been written by an older person, one who’s judgmental and probably not fully “there.” The mistress comment may be old-speak that the couple isn’t legally married. My nickel bet is someone goaded the author into paying for what she thought was the “true story,” her own sorry version. One of those “I’ll show them” moments, not realizing it will be permanent record in some genealogy archives and make it’s way to CC.
I did enjoy the “known” grandchildren part. As long as it’s truthful, I don’t really have a problem with this. I’ve read obits about people that seemed more like fairy tales than their real life story.
The Facebook page of ABC11 WTVD has many comments, including some from those who say they know the family. One of those people appears to be Dave’s girlfriend, and the news station apparently was going to contact her directly. This is what those people say:
The oldest daughter, who is “psycho[tic],” a “control freak,” and is estranged from the rest of the family, wrote the obituary (yes, a paid death notice, although everyone around here would call it an obituary). Dave had cared for his mother for fifteen years. She was in a very nice facility and he visited her a lot. He spent the day with her and went home to get some sleep right before she died. Dave is not married so he doesn’t have a “mistress”. The oldest daughter did not come to the funeral.
I’ve read some quirky, amusing, sometimes hilarious obituaries over the years. This one, though, was purely spiteful. I think that the newspaper should have contacted the writer to get more information before printing it.
In my experience with planning 2 funerals, the funeral home places the obit on behalf of the family following a standard template - they ask the person planning the funeral to “fill in the blanks” - extra words cost $ and at least in our case - that obit would have been an expensive revenge.
Brutal, yes. Honest, who knows? I thought it sounded rude, petty, and spiteful, probably written by someone with an ax to grind.
Just one more reason that I should write my own death notice before I die…
I don’t imagine the hospital will be too thrilled about this if they catch wind of it.
The length of this piece suggests to me that it’s a paid death notice. The paper could have declined to publish it. If I lived in their distribution area, I’d rank its reputation about as highly as I do the scandal rags. The decision to publish it was an unfortunate one.
My first thought was that one of the kids who was not bothering to help with her care, but who was happy to judge Dave for not doing enough was the author, looks like Marsian found something like that to be the case. Sad for this family to have this go viral, although probably not the first time this sibling has acted out.
I was sort of OK with it until “In 1999…” when the allegations of mistreatment by her son began. Then it really crossed the line.
This part at the beginning, made me think someone vindictive was writing it:
" Her nomination to the National Honor Society at Bloomington High School was a source of pride all her life although she thought her nomination had probably been influenced by her six Voliva brothers’ athletic prowess and popularity."
If this was something she was proud of, her entire life, why would she want her death notice to then say she wasn’t sure she’d earned it? It sounds like something she had told someone in confidence. This alone was very mean.
My H’s aunt wrote a self-published book about their various family members where it all has this tone. She thinks it’s really funny and “keeping it real.” It’s really quite off, but there’s no accounting for humor, I suppose.
At first when I read the obituary and saw the part about “mistress,” I was thinking perhaps it was written by a son or daughter who was from an older generation, and who would refer to the girlfriend of an unmarried man as a mistress. Then I realized, my mother is 91! I keep forgetting I’m old. Mrs. Black’s children are the same generation as me and my siblings.
Given that, according to the comments cited above, the obit writer didn’t go to her mother’s funeral, I doubt the comments were intended to be lighthearted jokes.
Oh, I agree these weren’t intended to be lighthearted comments. The tonality I’m thinking of is wry and sardonic and sarcastic tinged with “well, no one else is going to say the truth so I might as well.” Of course, it’s all inappropriate to use for an obituary!
If that had been my obituary I’d so mad! I would probably be more embarrassed at how my scions had behaved, and then had the additional poor sense to publish their behavior.
What a miserable legacy.