For what it’s worth, I could absolutely see my bio grandmother writing her own obituary like this. She is a very bitter woman who hates the world and because of that has only one son who even talks to her and just about zero friends.
I’m not saying that this woman did write or co-write the obituary but I do know at least one person who would write something like this so it’s certainly possible.
@romanigypsyeyes do you think this woman wrote her own obituary? I got the distinct impression it was one of the offspring, but I could totally be wrong.
Oh whoops, nevermind, I hadn’t scrolled the page enough…
Do people write their own obits?
My father passed away in October and had written his obituary a few years ago. I thought it was very funny and published it in two newspapers. I spent well over $1000 running it once in each newspaper. Ridiculous! I did edit out one line because my mother was offended when he said that the only reason she married him was to get a trip to Europe when he joined the Air Force.
I like that obituary, Toledo! Funny, sweet, self deprecating. I can understand why your mother didn’t like the line that you nixed. Your dad must have been quite a character. 
@toledo, great obituary! Lighthearted, charming, and if it represents your father well, he was a wonderful guy.
Actually, the newspaper is a long-time, highly-respected paper. Unfortunately, the economic problems plaguing print journalism have resulted in buyouts, layoffs, less in-depth news, and more wire service articles. There are probably some heads rolling at the paper after all the Internet attention this obituary has received.
Awww @toledo, your Dad sounds like a charmer.
I wrote my g/f’s obit. I left places for her husband to fill in, e.g. Dates. He spent a week editing it. While I wrote she participated in 5 Marathons, he added in what city and what year. He tripled the words I used, which I thought was unnecessary. (Meanwhile, he was on dating sites already).
So, I will try to write my own, and put it in my legal file.
So annoying when people pad things out with pointless and uninteresting detail. If he’d wanted to expand:
Instead of putting
which is more words without more interestingness, he could have put something like
More words should do more work.
Frankly, the obit sounded to me as if it were written by a member of AlAnon. Based on my friends who are. Maybe I’m prejudiced. I’m sure there are plenty of people who have benefited from the program without going nuts about imaginary abuses.
@Consolation, what about the obit sounded like it was written by a member of AlAnon? I don’t know any members of AlAnon, so I don’t have any stereotypes. Are AlAnon people bitter and spiteful?
@Cardinal Fang, not bitter and spiteful, but that kind of program can encourage some people to dwell excessively on old family grudges and be convinced that their family is riddled with dysfunction because of an alcoholic parent or even grandparent. Even if the person did not, in fact, drink! (“Oh, but she’s a dry alcoholic. Exact same behavior patterns.” Uh huh…)
Ouch… the members of AlAnon I do know don’t seem to fit that description at all.
As far as the original obit goes, I learned a little about the deceased. And a whole lot about the writer. Given the information at hand, I prefer the deceased to the writer.
^^ Me too. I can imagine a kindly newspaper staffer saying, “Sorry, we won’t publish this. You’ll thank us later.” It says a lot about the writer, none of it good.
When I worked for a local newspaper, we had a lot of discussions about the kinds of things we would and would not run in the classifieds section of the paper. The publisher’s argument was that the disclaimer at the beginning of the classfieds removed us from any moral responsibility as to the content.
My argument was that it didn’t absolve us from moral responsibility just because he put the disclaimer in. I usually lost (being an underling who hadn’t graduated from Wharton, ha ha) but occasionally I was able to muster together enough outrage (usually over something to do with an animal that was being sold or bought that was obviously a scam), that he’d pull some of them.
I could use the “this is an embarrassment to our paper” argument fairly successfully. I’d say that this obit would not have been run by the paper I worked for-even the publisher would have said no to it immediately. It would have made for a very zesty monday morning meeting, that’s for sure.
I agree that this obit was over the top.But it also pains me to go to a wake or funeral and hear all about how someone is an angel in Heaven when you know that he or she was considerably less than ideal.
^^^ I’ve been to a few like that, and it aggravates me a bit too. In those cases I chalk it up to the fact that the decedent had children under the age of 18 and the (untrue) kind things are being said publicly for their benefit.
Related, the concept of “let’s not speak ill of the dead” is interesting. Sometimes it only becomes emotionally safe to speak one’s truth after a death, such as in the cases of abuse.
(I’m not saying the writer of the paid death notice is in that group - s/he seems to have had an axe or 3 to grind.)
^^^I can relate. I’ve only been able to truly break away from my kind-hearted but very controlling father after his death three years ago.
To continue the topic of interesting obituaries, here is a link to an article about 2 obituaries written for the same man – one by his wife and one by his girlfriend:
^^oh my. And they both seem neutral and nice! 
Alrighty then!