And How Was YOUR Week?

Parent Cafe
1

<p>Let’s just call this reporting. And maybe a little venting. But certainly not whining. </p>

<p>I started a new job this past Monday. Yippee!! It’s been a long spell of unemployment, thankfully interrupted by a “contract” assignment nearby. Very nearby – an 18-minute drive on a bad day.</p>

<p>I finally got this “permanent” job – not contract, but real – with an excellent company. Unfortunately, it’s about 60 miles from my house, accessible only by car. It also requires traveling over one of the Hudson River crossings. Which, as all you who live in the tri-state area know, is not a lot of fun and very unpredictable. </p>

<p>So my 60-mile drive has been taking me, on a good day, an hour and 20 minutes and, on a bad day, two and a half hours. There was one bad day this week, when it was raining, there were accidents, and I didn’t pay attention to the traffic report about what routes to avoid when I got in the car.</p>

<p>Well, we know I’ll never make that mistake again. Another one, perhaps, but not that mistake.</p>

<p>I realized even before I started this job that I was going to need to find a place to stay, locally, during the week. I couldn’t do this drive back and forth every day. So, through a friend of a friend, I heard of woman who lives near my office who was willing to rent out her spare room during the week. The plan was (and still is) that I’ll drive down Monday morning, work hard, stay over in her spare room, and drive back home Friday night.</p>

<p>Tonight I went to see her place. MapQuest said it would take only 16 minutes, and that it was slightly less than 9 miles. MapQuest lied.</p>

<p>It took me an hour and 45 minutes. First, it’s the last exit in New Jersey before the Lincoln Tunnel. So I had to travel with all the Lincoln Tunnel traffic trying to get into the city. That took 45 minutes. Then, I got lost in downtown Hoboken and wound up in Union City, which is not a place you want to be lost in. My prospective roommate guided me via cell phone, and – having left work at around 5:30 – I finally made it to her apartment at 7:15. </p>

<p>Lovely apartment. Nice woman. This could work. IF I can figure out how to get there from my office in a reasonable amount of time!!</p>

<p>This weekend, I will be studying the maps.</p>

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<p>Congratulations on your new job. Where is your work and where is your friend’s place? Hoboken is not an easy place to get to during rush hours. </p>

<p>My week was peachy. I worked 14 hours a day in Mexico, went back to my hotel to have room service, just flew back to NJ tonight. I have been doing this commute for few months now. The good part is D1 is home from college for few weeks before she goes off to start her internship. We will be moving to the new city as soon as D2 is out of school so I won’t be doing the commute any more. </p>

<p>Your commute maybe bad, but my commute is few thousand miles. :(</p>

3

<p>Another NY area commuter but fortunately, not over a bridge. Can take me 35 minutes (not very often) to 2 hours.</p>

<p>I haven’t found the traffic reports very helpful. Started listening to books on tape. At least I don’t feel like I’m wasting the commuting time!</p>

4

<p>Yes, I’m going to the library tomorrow to get some books on tape. That will help, I think, to keep my mind off my troubles.</p>

<p>Thanks for listening to me – ummmm – report. Not whine.</p>

5

<p>Congrats on your new job. I am currently job hunting because I’ve grown to HATE mine. For me, the past week, the past half a year in fact, have been just hellish! (Though I suspect I should be happy I’m employed.) </p>

<p>BTW books on tape (CDs) are my life safer. I’m currently listening to Wolff Hall, a historical fiction about Thomas Cromwell, his life & political career during the time Henry VIII was courting Anne Boleyn. Award-winning book; a great recording.</p>

6

<p>You don’t want to hear about my commute. I walk downstairs! I whine though when I get jobs in northern Westchester or CT! </p>

<p>I might have liked Wolf Hall if I’d had it read to me on a long drive. Instead it was my bedtime reading and since it put me to sleep instantly it took me forever to read! I didn’t like it nearly as much as I thought I would.</p>

<p>The only time I had a long commute (my five years in Germany) I did it on public transportation, so I got a lot of reading done.</p>

7

<p>Not a bad week… Tonight I missed my transfer bus because some creep was arguing with the driver of the first bus that he should be free to eat his pizza and drink his beer (hidden in a paper bag) on the bus! I had to hang out at the Nordstrom Rack and almost bought some lovely Jimmy Choo shoes. Ahhh, the dangers of commute!</p>

<p>VH - congrats! 60 miles in 1 hr 20 min - I’m impressed. My commute is only 25 miles each way, but it takes me more than an hour, and it really does not matter if I drive or take the bus. I prefer the bus where I can sit back, relax, surf CC on my iPhone, and post with lots of typos! :)</p>

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<p>You can pod-cast NPR, if you are a fan. All those fun weekend programs (Car-talk, Wait, wait, don’t tell me, etc) can provide a buffer for commuting.</p>

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<p>It’s now – wow – 14 hours since my “week” officially ended (since I got home last night at 10:00 PM and it’s now noon). I am still so stressed. I can feel my blood pressure way up and I still feel like I’m racing. A nice long walk with the doggies will help, I hope.</p>

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<p>What about finding a gym near your job and working out before your commute home? Maybe the traffic will be better.
22 yrs ago we moved to a town where the average commute to almost anywhere is 15 minutes. I don’t miss those long drives to and from the office. Or heading to work at 5:30 am to beat some of the traffic.</p>

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<p>GREAT news about that new job. I’m sure you’ll figure out the weekday lodging. But the job sounds great. Just great. Any chance you can do one day of it remotely from your home?</p>

<p>I know these don’t always work…but a friend in Atlanta has a GPS with the traffic reporting feature…and can reroute based on what it says. Like I said…I know that a GPS isn’t always accurate (just like Mapquest) but might be another option to consider.</p>

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<p>VH - Have you thought about commuting by train? I know that has its downsides, but at least you can work on your computer and the time is a little more predictable. We are all too familiar with the traffic going into NYC thru the Lincoln tunnel or from CT. As you know we also frequently drive from PA to CT and always hold our breath from the Verrazano bridge - do we go 95 or take the Merritt, it is always a crap shoot :(</p>

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<p>VH - Congrats on the new job. Hope you like the job a lot more than you like the commute. ;)</p>

<p>Wishing you lots of luck!</p>

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<p>I think VH’s problem is that all transportation in Westchester/NY goes north south and hardly anything goes E/W. Especially trains. I think commuting after rush hour is a real possibility. Our elementary school vice principal used to commute from somewhere in the middle of Long Island to our school in Westchester. We thought he was nuts, but he said as long as he left early enough there was no traffic.</p>

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<p>Is there any possibility of flex time? My BIL leaves his house at an ungodly hour in the morning but he misses all of the traffic and is home at a reasonable hour most days. </p>

<p>Also, and freel free to punch me through the computer screen, this can be a good time in your life to practice letting go of stress. I know, I know, I sound so obnoxious! But hear me out…there is nothing you can do about the traffic once you are in your car. Truly, nothing. So practice accepting that. </p>

<p>Make a mantra like, “I cannot do anything about this, I’m not going to let it destroy my health/evening/weekend as well.” Keep your BP down through breathing, books on tape, music you like, talk radio (the brand you agree with!) and so on. </p>

<p>I really thought I was going to have a heart attack or go crazy the first time Mr PMK was getting ready to go to Iraq. A therapist shared this idea of “no escape” with me (which, at first, make me very anxious!) But I practiced, practiced, practiced and it really is so nice to be so much more in control of my emotions. Of course, I still have to practice and sometimes I am overwhelmed but it’s been an interesting journey.</p>

<p>I wish you the very best of luck is all aspects of this new job!</p>

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<p>PMK, I understand. And when I actually AM stuck in traffic and barely moving, I’m OK. Believe it or not, it’s once the traffic starts moving again and I’m going 75 mph around the windy roads of the Merritt Parkway that I get a little anxious. It’s also the lack of “down time” in my own house – scratching the doggies, hugging the spouse, cleaning the crumbs from the toaster oven. All the things that make a house a home.</p>

<p>Assuming I can figure out how to get from Lyndhurst to Hoboken, and assuming I can figure out how, after forty years, to live with a roommate, things should improve. </p>

<p>I think.</p>

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<p>I’m a nester myself, so I understand how the lack of down time in ones own home could be a major stressor.</p>

<p>You’ve got a plan and I know you can do it.</p>

<p>Best of luck!</p>

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<p>Any chance of starting your commute earlier? Some people at my job start at 6. Also, a work from home day? I do that once in a while and with email people don’t even know I’m not there!</p>

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<p>One of my subordinates want a work at home day, and my new boss is totally anti. So I’m not going to broach that for quite some time.</p>

<p>If I were to start work at 6:00 AM, I would have to leave the house by 4:30 AM to do that, and hence get up at 3:45 AM. No thank you.</p>

<p>Besides, I definitely need to be in the office when the other people are there. Which means, generally, 9:00 to 5:00, or 8:00 to 6:00.</p>

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<p>Congratulations on your new job, VeryHappy, but I’m so sorry for your difficult commute. I commuted through the Lincoln Tunnel every day for 23 years until a few weeks ago, and I have to tell you I don’t miss it at all! The total distance from the NJ side of the Tunnel to where I lived was about 12 miles. It took an average of an hour each way. Sometimes there were traffic jams even late at night. The longest it ever took was coming home one winter night when there was black ice on Route 3. It took almost 4 hours that night to go the 12 miles.</p>

<p>There were many times I felt like just abandoning my car in the middle of traffic, like Michael Douglas in that movie.</p>

<p>And whenever I took the bus instead (no trains anywhere near me), it always seemed to happen that either I had to stand, or I was sitting next to someone three times my size with a horrendous cough.</p>

<p>Taking the subway instead for 30 minutes each way every day now, plus a 5-minute walk on each end, feels like sheer luxury by comparison!</p>