Son was fortunate to be accepted at each school. He is an athlete and we will be going to the revisit days. Aid packages for each school are negligible which makes for a very difficult decision.
Lawrenceville is closest to home which would make visiting easier than the other 2, especially for athletic games and other events on campus. Yet, even though it’s a phenomenal school and we’ve enjoyed every interaction, many people we speak with say it’s tough to turn down an Andover or Exeter if you have that as an option. He’s a strong student who thrives in discussion based classes and understands how challenging it will be to balance academics with sports. We’ve participated in virtual sessions the last few days for each school and are so impressed across the board that it only complicates the decision further.
Basically we are at a loss and know the revisit days will reveal a lot in how he enjoys his interactions. But, would love any insight from people on this board who may have made a similar choice over the last few years between the schools listed, and any tips we should leverage to really hone in on a decision during the revisit days. Thank you in advance.
There is no wrong answer with these options. While we weren’t choosing between these 3 schools when my DD applied, the logistics of a school within a 1-2 hour drive vs much further is a significant consideration and did factor into our decision making. *After* revisits, what I discussed with my DD is that all else being equal, the closer school should get extra weight. I wouldn’t have made her go to the closest school if she didn’t love it after revisiting, but it was a relief that she could see herself happy there. As a parent, I love being able to go to her performances and occasionally drive down to take her out to brunch or dinner. It also makes moving in/out so much easier. Lawrenceville plays a number of teams in the Philly area so you might even be able to catch away games.
It was a million years ago, but I did go to one of the schools on your list and had a choice between a couple of them. I loved the school I went to, but I suspect I would have also been happy had I chosen differently. The experience will be similar, challenging, and enriching at any of the schools on that list. The difference in “prestige” level is negligible. Go to revisit days, meet with the coaches/players of your child/s sport if you can, and see if there is a clear frontrunner for your son. But if he can see himself happy at Lawrenceville, he should go there. My 2 cents. Go Birds!
We had a similar choice back in the day, chose a different school, and everything ended up great. One determining factor was the curriculum/course catalogue. It was helpful to see the breadth of the course offerings, the areas of interest and what was missing, and the degree to which the humanities courses seemed ideologically driven.
When our family was deciding between the schools above and others, the revisit days made the decision for us. All of the schools are great and all of the revisit days will be as well, and while my kid enjoyed all of them, she knew very certainly that one of them was “Home” for her. Probably should have stopped there, but she wanted to give everyone a fair shot. That was our experience, but I suspect and hope it will be equally clear to your family. Lawrenceville is an awesome awesome place, but be prepared to become acquainted with exactly why its tough to turn down Andover and Exeter.
On the distance piece (this is going to sound odd): Thousands of years ago when I went to one of these schools, my family lived about six hours away. Now, my kid’s less than hour away. I will say that as a parent, it’s great to be nearby and able to shoot up there for sports, ah hoc lunch, etc., but I’m not absolutely sure its so great for my kid. The cord-cutting that came with being far away and just coming home for vacations was an important part of both my development and experience. I really do sometimes feel like we see our kid too much. Like she knows she can always swim back to the edge of the pool or grab a life preserver. In retrospect, it would have been nice if my parents saw my games and concerts, but I think the tradeoff of that experience/environment being wholly mine was worth it.
Anyways, all said to advise looking at proximity with the proper lens (kid vs parent).
Enjoy revisit days. Curious to hear how it turns out.
You may have heard this before, but for athletes, it’s important to do the “broken leg” test – imagine your child was injured and was no longer able to play their sport - where would they be most happy even without athletics? It’s easy to be swayed by a championship team, or a coach they really like, but teams change, coaches leave, kids get injured. Make sure he is looking at the whole picture of what his life will be like there, even if sports were no longer a part of the picture. Also important to consider, if he does have an injury, how will they support him through? I’m sure these schools all have trainers, but will they support physical therapy, or take him to an off-campus specialist doctor if needed? Is there good mental health support and counseling for athletes?
All great choices, congrats to him and good luck, hopefully you can get some clarity at revisit days.
So our D24 will never know if those schools would have been an option, in part because we encouraged her to focus on closer schools (to us) when forming her application list.
Of course she then ended up enrolling at the farthest away school on her list, one in fact she added entirely on her own initiative that did not fit our original proximity standards, so that didn’t exactly go as planned. To be fair, she did get a great merit scholarship (I like to say it will cover a lot of helicopter rides, and for some reason people assume I am joking). But it was also the best fit for her.
So . . . on the one hand, I wouldn’t let what other people say about these schools play much of a role in what you decide is best as a family. On the other hand, if after revisits he has a clear choice, and it isn’t Lawrenceville . . . well, I think you probably just have to go with that, right?
My kid didn’t attend one of these schools, but I know grads from each. Some absolutely LOVED their choice and feel they had the best years of their life there, and others had very unhappy experiences and counseled us strongly against applying. These schools, more than most, seem to have the most polarized alums. Perhaps it is simply numbers. As they are all excellent institutions with talented students and amazing resources, what this says to me is that you want your child to pick the one that feels most right for them.
The broken leg test is important, but so are feelings about the team, the coach, and the sports program as this is likely to play a central role in an athlete’s life, especially at the outset.
Proximity cuts both ways as the above posts point out. At all of these schools, there will be boarders from the other side of the country and globe, so distance can be managed. Otoh, the shorter distance allows you to attend games, your child to come home more easily to decompress when needed, and less of a travel ordeal at breaks. Personally, I wouldn’t bring location into it unless you are all feeling completely undecided after revisits.
All are great schools. They are consistently ranked among the top in the country, depending on which list you follow. Reputation, old relationships, and outside opinions should not cloud your decision. While they may seem similar on the surface, they can feel very different once you spend real time there.
Revisit days can answer a lot of important questions, as long as you look past the marketing. We considered all three, but quickly realized that two were not the right fit. In fact, some schools we originally thought would be our top choices changed completely after revisit day.
Revisit day lets you see a school through a different lens. On your first visit, you are often wondering, Will they accept me? By revisit day, the question has changed. They want me, but is this where I truly feel at home?
Thank you all for your messages—it’s truly appreciated! I might follow up with a few of you on DM, but again can’t thank you all enough. Going to really hone in on where he finds his best fit, what feels like hole regardless of distance, and discuss after all the visits are up.
Lawrenceville is probably the best option for your family if you plan to attend athletic events involving your son.
I understand that certain universities are hard to turn down, but 18 year olds are expected to move on toward independence; 14 year olds are not, and you will never recover those years.
All amazing schools here and there is a lot to be said for each of them…congrats to him!
I would add that it would also depend on your son’s sport and how much of a factor that would be in the ultimate decision. If he has had a good deal of contact with the coaches at each of the schools, or can meet with them again on revisit days it probably would be good to see how he feels about the different coaches at the schools. Also, If he is an athlete looking to play team sport, what opportunities might there be for him for playing time and where the alumni from the teams go on to play in college, IF that is something that he would be thinking about in the future.
As many have said upthread, if he feels the “vibe” of one of the schools more than the others during revisit days that is something to take into consideration, and they are all excellent schools.
I have 2 children at Andover and both had choices to peer schools such as Exeter and Hill. I would make sure you revisit each school and get a vibe of the atmosphere and ask yourself if the environment fits your family. I don’t mind driving to Massachusetts from PA 6 1/2 hours driving time outside Philadelphia “Fly Eagles Fly”. You certainly get used to the drive. Your child will get the academics at all 3, and your child will be challenged at all 3. Look at the kids and see if the community is engaged. Our son chose Andover over other schools because he loved his revisit there more than the other schools and he felt at home. Each child is different and each family is different in what you want. Ask yourself if your child would be happy there if he did not play a sport and was willing to try and meet new friends outside of athletics at each school. Hope this helps and good luck.
The future of Exeter is extremly positive following the recent selection of Jennifer Karlen Elliott as Head of School. Lawrencville continues on an upward trajectory under the leadership of Stephan Murray. Both have clear visions for their respective institutions.
Not sure about Andover and the direction that school is going.