<p>Wow. I agree - the caterer should have apologized. A fair response on your part would be a balanced, calm review on Yelp, etc. pointing out the problems and the caterer’s lack of apology.</p>
<p>I think in your next conversation, I would be likely to share with the coordinator that her defensive attitude worsened your feelings. All she had to do, if it truly is their policy NOT to allow tip jars, than she should have been shocked and upset and told you she would get to the bottom of things and report back to you.</p>
<p>A tip jar at a fundraiser at a rented venue is one thing, a tip jar at a private wedding is another. There is NO WAY that your guests should be solicited for tips by the people you have hired to serve them for the evening. Very uncool. I think that a Yelp review is indeed in order.</p>
<p>I’ve never actually hired a caterer, not even for my own wedding, so I don’t know what the norm is for tipping. I have hired waitstaff for parties at my house, but they are being paid directly by me specifically for the job, and at an hourly rate that is far higher than a restaurant base. I think I threw in some extra $$ when paying them at the end of the night, since they always did a great job, but I don’t recall specifically. H and I hired the band for our wedding, and I never thought of tipping them, since again we were already paying them a set fee directly. I can’t imagine tipping a photographer.</p>
<p>Personally, I think that caterers ought to pay their own staff and patrons should not be expected to tip them. There should be a service fee per waiter, if necessary, and it ought to be large enough to cover a reasonable wage. And it definitely should not depend on the cost of the food! The waiter works just as hard to pass bean dip as s/he does to pass caviar.</p>
<p>I agree with Frazzled. In my yrs as dj, I am aware some contracts have a “no tips” provision, some don’t mention it.
If this particular contract calls for no tip jar, and yet they had one, then those with their hand out have wrongfully tried to get money from people that didn’t owe them. Their pay was supposed to come from who hired them.
Once paid and tipped there is little a client can do, other than spread the word.</p>
<p>I would be quite annoyed by a tip jar – and even more annoyed by the lie that a guest “must have created it.”</p>
<p>^ I agree. I’m amazed at the lack of customer service. An apology was in order, not an accusation. Incredible.</p>
<p>As a guest at a private event, I would no more tip the bartender than I would tip the waiter. I expect my hosts have done that.</p>
<p>Tell the caterer that since, unknown to you, the bartender was soliciting and receiving tips from your guests, you’d like her to refund you the portion of the overall tip that went to the bartenders.</p>
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<p>And even if a misguided guest DID create it, the bartender should have removed it as soon as that guest left the bar. At the very least, I would want the caterer to acknowledge that if there was a tip jar, it was wrong, apologize, and assure you that the bartender has been informed that this had better not happen again. Refunding the portion of the service fee intended for the bartender would not be a bad idea either, although it is not the money itself that is the issue.</p>
<p>^^^ post 29, exactly!
Many a time (as DJ) I have “waived off” a tip, and asked them to tip their server instead.</p>
<p>from the caterer. I’d say that I’ve never had a worse customer service experience, but I have Excellus Blue Cross Blue Shield. Soooo … considering my experience with stonewalling, excuse-making reps, I should have held up my end better than I did. Well, live and learn.</p>
<p>The coordinator’s supervisor was, um, verbose. But the short version is that if she’d like me to produce some photos of the tip jar. Someone in the wedding party (not someone who signed the contract, because who cares what they want?) supposedly asked that it be placed front and center. They, the caterers, can prohibit a tip jar, but if a random Joe with an unusual concern for bartenders wants a tip jar, of course they do what the guest asks!</p>
<p>I am somehow the first customer in 16 years (this became 17 years during the course of the conversation :rolleyes:) who objected to a tip jar, despite its prohibition in the contract. They have decided that they will remove all mention of tip jars in future contracts, to prevent future unpleasant conversations with irate mothers. </p>
<p>And they didn’t run out of alcohol - they simply ran out of the kind of alcohol our guests cared to drink. She actually said, “There were still other kinds of alcohol at the bar - your guests were just the kind of people who need a lot of vodka to be happy.” I honest-to-God can’t imagine HOW this bunch has garnered the kind of reviews that gave me such a false sense of security.</p>
<p>So it was an unpleasant 20-minute conversation and the caterer did not give an inch. It’s not gonna be a 5-star review from this customer, though.</p>
<p>^ Tell everyone you know, too.</p>
<p>Wow, frazzled, I’m speechless.</p>
<p>People will ask you how they were, and you can tell them; losing referral business is not too good. </p>
<p>I do have to say that my Dad was a bartender for catering for years when I was growing up. He worked at a couple of different places over the years. In his day these were union jobs and they paid union scale, and um, no tips, ever. These were nice catering halls too. Way before tip jars, and they would never have allowed them in these places. He was aware that the maitre d’ got the tips from the hosts and was supposed to pass them out, but he never did. There really was no way to take this up with anyone either.</p>
<p>The caterer we used for our own wedding (20+ yrs ago) specified a required gratuity as part of the bill that had to be paid before the event. I wanted to ask if the bartenders got tips (because of my own father’s experience), but I never did. </p>
<p>The caterers that I am familiar with around here usually require a gratuity as part of the package price. The bar is almost always unlimited open bar at private functions in these parts. Sometimes people serve only beer and wine, but this is rare.</p>
<p>Personally, I always discretely slip the bartender a tip if I go to weddings, bar mitzvahs etc., because I think of my Dad. My husband and I always think of him at those parties. He worked the “rolling bar” if you are familiar with that. </p>
<p>I am surprised that they “ran out” of alcohol. You would think they have cases of it in the basement or supply room or what ever.</p>
<p>The more I hear about tipping at these special events, the more convinced I am that I just don’t know how anything is done these days. My nephew told me about his experiences as a part-time cater-waiter. He said that he’d occasionally come home after working an 8-hour shift with NO tip, or a very small one. The coordinator would either tell him that the customer had tipped poorly, or give no excuse at all. He knows, however, that some coordinators would pocket the majority of the tip, or share it with their friends but not the other guys. It doesn’t surprise me after reading “Waiter Rant.” What a sleazy business it can be.</p>
<p>Many lessons learned, including this one - NO MORE CASH IN ENVELOPES. If the caterer doesn’t want the gratuity on a credit card, I’ll find one who does.</p>
<p>let’s not kid ourselves, frazzled. Even putting a tip on a credit card doesn’t guarantee each server gets it. Handing it to each employee is the only sure way.</p>
<p>frazzled - I agree with the others, I would go out of my way to tell everyone you know and even those you don’t about the poor customer service. I’d especially follow up with the other wedding vendors you dealt with and let them know. You can do this in a tactful way that doesn’t sound like sour grapes.</p>
<p>Give us the name of the caterer, frazzled (or some big hints), and we’ll also do reviews.</p>
<p>CTTC, you’re nice! I’ll PM the name to anyone who’s interested - I’m just not sure what the CC rules are about this sort of thing. (Though I have admittedly trashed Excellus Blue Cross Blue Shield here for years.) Right now I’m drafting a letter to the company owner, and writing up a few reviews for yelp and other sites. My d is writing reviews for wedding sites like weddingwire and theknot, which are apparently closely watched by vendors and potential clients alike.</p>
<p>Here’s the thing - they have 133 reviews on weddingwire, with an unbelievable average of 4.7 out of 5. Only a handful of reviews are 3 stars or less, and I actually commented to my daughter when she selected this firm that we knew we’d get wonderful service because, with so few negative reviews, there must be something off about the people who wrote them. Well, now I’m going to be one of those off people.</p>
<p>One of my kids just texted me to ask how many contracts they must have violated if I am the only person in 16-17 years who expected there wouldn’t be a tip jar when the contracts say there won’t be a tip jar. </p>
<p>Really - you sign a contract. You find out after the fact that the vendor didn’t fulfill certain aspects of the contract. Don’t you call to ask them what’s up? Is that so unheard of? The supervisor did not endear herself to me yesterday when she inquired if I’ve attended many weddings …</p>
<p>Please PM me with the information on the caterer.</p>