Hello! I’m attending my only child’s graduation soon. I have my hotel reservation and dining reservations. I have my cameras ready with extra memory cards. Yet it seems like there’s still something I need to do. I tried to google to see if there are any college graduation traditions that I’m not aware of but really didn’t find anything.
Parents, is there anything you would recommend to make commencement weekend more memorable? Did you bring anything for your child to the graduation or is there anything that you wish you had done differently. Do you go to your child’s apartment/dorm before the ceremony or wait to see them when they walk in with their gown on? I am very emotional thinking about the ceremony. How did you hold up during the events?
Also I’m not sure if I should bring a gift or wait until we all get home. I’m thinking of sending my son on a well-deserved vacation but not sure how I could present it as a graduation gift. He won’t be able to go anywhere for a few months so it would be more of a promise of a vacation with no particular destination picked out yet. I would like to have an extra present that I could give him right away.
4 years of college have went by so quickly. I can remember lurking on here reading Class of 2017 drop-off stories. I don’t recall a thread about graduation from a parent’s perspective.
I’d love to hear any stories of what to expect (and of course, any advice too)! Did anything not go as planned? Friends have warned me that small college towns can be difficult during commencement weekend. A friend of mine told me that she wasn’t aware that traffic would be so terrible on the morning of commencement. She said her family was stuck in a 2 hour traffic jam with road closures and very nearly missed the entire ceremony.
We drove VERY early for son’s ceremony, so we wouldn’t miss it. We bought breakfast and ate it while we waited in the seats. For D’s ceremony two years later, we stayed walking distance of campus, paying a ton for the convenience and booking very early. It was more relaxing.
After son’s graduation, we helped him and D move their stuff to storage and went on a nice long road trip, all 4 of us. Can’t remember what we did after D’s graduation. We gave S a watch but it was too big for his wrist, so we returned it. Can’t remember what we did for D’s graduation gift.
Both of mine graduated from LACs. While there was parking, it was not close to the commencement venue. WEAR COMFORTABLE SHOES!
Both weekends were in the northeast and were unseasonably hot. Both schools provided water during the ceremony, but it was pretty miserable. D’s ceremony was in a sort of shaded area, but as the sun moved that changed. S’s ceremony was in an open area with no shade. I had sunscreen for both. I don’t wear hats, but wished I worn one for S’s. H went and purchased a hat from the school bookstore just prior to the ceremony. To give you an idea of how hot it was in the sun at the second graduation, my phone stopped working because it was too hot.
Assuming there’s open seating, if you care about sitting close or in a particular spot, get there early.
I’d wait before presenting a graduation gift - with moving out, there’s too much going on.
Speaking of moving out - you may not be able to park that close to the dorm. D’s move-out time was the afternoon of the day of graduation. Fortunately S was able to get an extension to the next day, so it wasn’t quite as crowded.
My experience from last year - weather is unpredictable (ours was very cold and wet), you can’t get there too early (good seats go fast), we somehow totally forgot to take a family picture with my daughter in her cap and gown (got lots of pictures of just her all around campus - or with just me with her or just my husband with her), expect your child to be emotional also (I was good and didn’t cry all weekend), expect the packing up and moving out to be long and exhausting, throw out stuff - don’t bother bringing it home or moving it (the twin XL bedding was thrown away in the dorm garbage), we didn’t bother with a formal gift (our gift was helping her furnish her new apartment), we traveled (by public transportation - it was in a city) all together to the ceremony, the graduation was very very long (I had expected long but the speakers were long and the processions were long - large graduation class), and finally enjoy the event
there is no limit to the number of times you can tell your child how proud you are!
If the ceremony is outside bring a hat, sunscreen and water. If it inside, assume it may get hot and wear appropriate clothing. Go early for best seats, wear comfortable shoes and be prepared for lots of sitting around and waiting. Enjoy.
I have attended 2 graduation ceremonies. Comfortable shoes are a MUST no matter how cute your options are An outdoor ceremony? Sunscreen, hat or a lightweight scarf that you could cover your exposed burning skin. Indoor ceremony? The A/C was on blizzard and I could have used a sweater.
We did this last weekend with our oldest. Bathroom lines at the event will be bad. Plan accordingly. The ceremony is long so bring a snack. There will be crowds at the landmark photo spots afterward.
Both my kids schools had the large commencement ceremony where the honorary degree recipients were presented and then smaller department ceremonies. To me those were the most memorable as they were more personal. The department faculty were all there and there were personal comments made about the graduates as they received their diplomas. In both cases mine had double majors, so older one had double major in same department, younger one had double major in two different departments so there were two separate ceremonies. With older d the larger ceremony was in a very large field house and so you didn’t have to wait outside. It was comfortable. With younger d it was outside and unseasonably hot. Good thing we had water bottles.
With both of them we had celebratory dinners that night. Next day helped with packing up. With older d we drove up in 2 cars and she and younger d drove home together. She was on time commitment to pack up and move out as she had a summer commitment in France. Younger d drove home herself a day or two later as apartment rental is paid through end of the month. Several of her housemates were staying on there during the summer anyway.
There are so many things that I didn’t consider. I wrote down all of your suggestions and see that I have to go shopping! I was considering wearing nice a higher heel shoe but knew in my heart that was a bad idea. I’m going shopping for a pair of very comfortable shoes now.
Also I wouldn’t have considered a scarf over a hat but that makes so much sense. And sunscreen! I like the honest advice about moving out of the apartment too. It reminds me of how exhausted we were on move in day freshman year.
I also like the comment about not too many pictures! It was like you know me. I tend to overdo pictures and yet often do forget the one important one (like the parent who forgot the family picture with gown)!
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your experiences!
I second the suggestions about being prepared for the weather. At D1’s graduation, in southern California in April 2013, the temperature was 85 degrees by mid-morning and D2 and I both got bad sunburns. At least one person at the ceremony fainted. At D2’s graduation, the ceremony went on outside as planned despite rain earlier in the morning. Bringing a towel or some other seat cover would have been a good idea.
We had a graduation barbecue for both of our kids (they went to the same college 5 years apart) the night before the graduation. We invited the kid’s closest friends and their families. We rented a house on a lake close to the school. We lucked out both times that the weather was nice. People came in and out through out the night. Some people stayed longer than others. We served beer and wine, food/snacks. It was great to catch up with many parents whom we knew from freshman year.
Our kids went to a very large U, so they had many ceremonies. We went to all of them or whatever the kids wanted us to go to. We all got dressed up for the occasion - jacket for guys and dresses for women.
I am going to my nephew’s graduation in few weeks at the same U. Joe Biden will be speaking at the convocation, so it will be worth my while. This is going to be my last one until my grandchildren’s graduation(s) some day.
We went up the day before because D had an evening departmental reception. Her school does two ceremonies and D was at the morning one. D had been an RA but had been home the final semester so she stayed at her boyfriend’s but was able to get a room for one of my sons and a friend who had accompanied us. My oldest son stayed with second son, who attended the same school and whose roommate had already left. H and I stayed with our youngest son at D’s then boyfriend’s off campus apartment. D and our son got permission to stay over until Sunday so we packed him out and headed home. D went to the bf’s home for a vacation.
The best thing we did was have the boys drop H and I off at the indoor venue and park the car while we went in and secured seats.
The second best thing we did was make a reservation for lunch instead of just going to a restaurant.
I did go to D’s apartment before to help with her hair.
H stayed back and met us with S and H’s parents.
I would ask your student if he/she wants to meet before the ceremony.
Cleaning out the apartment D shared with two friends was a nightmare.
One parent kept insisting she wanted the 1/3 bottle of old ketchup and
the almost empty jar of salsa to take home (they drove). When she was away
for something or other our S stood below the second floor apt. and we threw many
many many things down out of the window to his open bag. We were good shots =)).
SO SO SO much stuff. And not our D’s as she is like me and a minimilist.
Just saying if you have a clean out be prepared for hard labor.
If you have quiet dinner or time together I suggest letting him know about the
gift of a trip. Our students are sad about leaving their environments and it is
always nice to have something to look forward to in the future.
Wear comfortable shoes. Wear layers. Bring a bottle of water. If it is going to be outdoors, consider sunscreen and/or something to fend off rain. Find out if your S can get a friend to get up early and reserve a good seat for you. (This was a tradition at S’s school.) Urge your S to have his friends arrange some kind of group activity for them and their parents, like a lunch or dinner, if he is part of any kind of group, and that they MAKE RESERVATIONS. Of course, make reservations yourself for any dinners. (I had to make reservations well over six months in advance to get into the place I wanted. It filled up within a day of officially opening graduation reservations in the fall.) If there is a department reception or ceremony, definitely attend it.
Lots of good suggestions and I just want to add/reiterate that, if your S would enjoy it, think about planning a gathering for his friends and their parents. You could do it with other parents or the students could organize it. One of my D’s was part of a tight group of 8. We organized a luncheon at a room in a hotel where we were able to spend several hours, move around and talk to different people, etc. It worked out much better for us than if we’d had it at a restaurant. Like @oldfort, for D3, we’ve rented a home on a lake that can accommodate an open house. D3 is very social and will want to invite lots of people so this format will work best for her.
One fun thing we did was have a banner made (about $15) for our graduate’s door. D1 lived in an apartment with 3 friends and we had all 4 of their names on the congratulations banner. D2 lived in a dorm and we put one up for her as well.
In terms of a gift, I think you just have to think about what your kid will value. If you want to give him money toward travel, you could create a collage with images of different destinations and write a message about your gift and then seal it in an envelope. I always think it’s fun to have something to open and my kids always know there’s something fun in an envelope! I gave each a card with a note telling them how proud I was of them too. Not a fan of shlepping a big gift to campus when everything has to be packed up and moved.
Good suggestions and it sounds like you are well prepared. Just look at the weather forecast and be sure you are ready for anything mother nature throws at you. And get everywhere early.
My biggest suggestion is to follow your kid’s lead. If they want you to come early then do that, if they want to be with friends and see you at the ceremony that is fine too. In fact we staged things differently for my D and my S based on the timing of their graduation, their preferences etc.
Also give your kid a bit of space. Remember this is the close of an important life chapter and they will have their own emotions to sort through. So if they want to run over to see friends, take photos with fellow graduates etc. give them the space to go ahead and do so. Be patient with them.
For any plans you have made, be sure your kids have the details (ex. dinner reservations etc.) so they can plan other things accordingly.
A trip sounds like a great gift. Perhaps you can get your kid a suitcase, a passport holder or something like that if you want to present something physically. Keep in mind that you have already given your child two of the greatest possible gifts a person can receive – a loving and supporting family and a college education.
An outdoor ceremony? Sunscreen, hat or a lightweight scarf that you could cover your exposed burning skin. Indoor ceremony? The A/C was on blizzard and I could have used a sweater.