<p>Harsh, judgemental terms are inflamatory. It is important, especially on a message board, to understand the impact of the words you use on others. You had a strong reaction to being compared to Ayn Rand. The words used in conveying ones thoughts make a big difference. You know that. Perhaps the third world runs on bribes, as I know many folks who travel with bribe money in their pockets to assure their safety. They call it “facillitating payments”. Oh yes-- thats semantics.</p>
<p>I didn’t have a strong reaction to being compared to Rand. I was chucking all along. I just don’t have strong reactions. The third world runs on bribes because there is no official bribery system like the USA. That’s what happens when you socialize the system and try to provide equal service to all at minimal payment. People who have more money and want better service just resort to bribing as there is no way to legally get better service by paying more.</p>
<p>Amy Chua’s method works only if the end goal in life in acceptance to Harvard.</p>
<p>But what kind of person is dumb enough to think that that is the end goal in life? I still have to laugh at how unsophisticated people are if they really think that Harvard et al are the Golden Keys to a Perfect Life, and soooo much far above any other set of schools. It’s silly, and people who think that way really aren’t very smart at all.</p>
<p>Bribery implies corrupt practices in many areas. And I would still like to hear your understanding of Ayn Rand’s political beliefs. Please answer the question so I can understand your reaction, which sure didnt look like you were “chuckling”. I await the clarification.</p>
<p>Amy Chua’s methods also work if the end goal is to produce a successful clasical musician. That’s the part that impressed us the most. It is not easy to get into Juilliard.</p>
<p>Corruption is just a matter of the law. In the USA, I can legally pay expedite fees to get a passport in a day. In India, a socialist country, I have to stand in line behind thousands of people as expediting is considered to be cheating the others in line. So I bribe. Yes, it is corrupt, but that can be changed with the flick of a pen by passing a law. The core principle is the same - better service for more money. That’s legal in the USA so it is not considred a bribe. It is illegal in India which is a socialist country, so it is considered to be corrupt.</p>
<p>I wrote about Rand’s political and economic beliefs and how they are ruinous. Read above.</p>
<p>If you wrote about Ayn Rand’s beliefs, please repost here. I dont know where “above” you posted this. </p>
<p>Your perception of “bribery” is fascinating. Paying more for a first class airline ticket- is that bribery? Is that the same as pressuring your kid to push himself harder, and that you will only buy him a new instrument if he gets all A’s and practices 4+ hrs/day?</p>
<p>You only bribe your kid if (s)he is unwilling to do something. You don’t punish if the kid fails to achieve something. For example, if the kid doesn’t want to practice the piano for three hours, you say that if he does it he gets to buy 20 music books. But you don’t withhold the piano books if he loses in the competition.</p>
<p>Theres the circular double talk. You said earlier everything was about bribes (which has an external locus of control). Now you are talking about inner drive, which has an internal locus of control, and you are conflating bribery with reward. They are NOT the same, even though you earlier insisted they were (or was just semantics) yet you just beautifully provided an example of the difference. Bravo.</p>
<p>Actually I was just responding to your example and explaining how I treat my kid.</p>
<p>“For example, if the kid doesn’t want to practice the piano for three hours, you say that if he does it he gets to buy 20 music books.”???
Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. This sound to me like saying to a child who doesn’t want to eat his oatmeal, or perhaps doesn’t even LIKE oatmeal, that you will buy him 20 MORE boxes of Oatmeal if he eats what’s in the bowl in front of him!!
Jeez IP- don’t you get it?? offering MORE of something to someone who DOESNT want in the FIRST place is not going to make them want it more!</p>
<p>and I feel really sorry for your kid…
mine, who played classical piano for 11 years, without bribes, or without mom sitting next to the teacher making notes, made it into 2 Ivys and 12 other great U’s / colleges just fine, went to college with a full tuition scholarship at a top 25 U, and is now starting his PhD at Cal Tech with a full Fellowship.
As another poster wisely noted above, there is more than one way to skin a cat…</p>
<p>Well, in the process IP, you provided an example of the difference which you seemed to claim didnt exist.</p>
<p>You don’t know my son. He has a library of about a thousand music books. He collects them like other kids collect comic books. The other day he told me that out of Chopin’s 500 pieces of work, he has so far collected 442, and needs to somehow find the remaining to complete the collection. I can pretty much make him do whatever it is I want him to do by promising funding for more music books.</p>
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<p>Tell me more.</p>
<p>One thing I will tell you from experience - withholding things as punishment doesn’t work. Giving things as bribes do.</p>
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<p>Congratulations!</p>
<p>We have a problem though. At least presently it seems that my son is not going the college route. He will go the conservatory route, and that’s purely merit based and absolutely brutal. He has to be in the top 1% of the kids in his age group in his chosen vocation (the piano in this case) to qualify for Juilliard, for example. That’s tough. To achieve that you better start to play with some well-known orchestras by 15-16 years of age.</p>
<p>well, your son had better have a back up plan… as the odds of acceptance, AND the likelihood that music WILL continue to always be the focus of his life, are not great… Son was ADAMANT that any college he want to had a great music program for those who wanted to minor in music. 4 years later, after taking lessons and music composition classes, his focus changed to hard rock, and hasnt played a classical piece in 2 years. He may circle back to music later on, but it is out of my control, as it soon will be out of your control…
my son, also collected music publications- hundreds of them, which he spent all of his allowance on every week. He focused on finding the most obscure piano composers, whose works were rarely played[ it was more of an intellectual pursuit, but made for very interesting essays].
Many musically talented students change their focus, and branch out , once they are in college, and away from their parents “guidance”.
Just don’t be surprised if it happens to you.</p>
<p>
Reread the posts starting at # 66. Hopefully you’ll get it.</p>
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<p>I got that you don’t like the word bribe.</p>
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<p>Oh, I don’t care how his interest changes. But if he is interested in being a pianist, and there is only one path to becoming a pianist (which is to practice) then I have to make use of every manipulative technique available to me to make him practice, no?</p>