<p>Piggybacking on Bunsen’s point, maybe you should try the vacation place for the winter, leaving the family home staged for showing. If it doesn’t work – you can look for other options before being stuck in the vacation home 24/7/365</p>
<p>bookiemom…another vote for understanding here…no you are NOT spoiled for goodness sake. It’s perfectly normal to be concerned about this next step. Having a sense of community is essential for your mental AND physical health. If you do indeed make this move, of course, you’ll need to make the best of it and reach out as best as you can. </p>
<p>But of course it hurts. You know, if I felt all warm inside about a leaving a place I’ve lived in for years, then IMO, something is wrong with either me or the place! </p>
<p>I know many retirees who stay put and never move anywhere. Some are happy…some are not. Bottom line, we have to make the best of what we have. I would encourage you to speak with your husband though, share your feelings…maybe there’s some sort of compromise here…even renting to try out an alternative. And maybe this next move isn’t permanent…the economy will recover and then you may have more options down the road.</p>
<p>In my community there is a program that has been set up to enable elderly people to stay in their own homes. Obviously, it does not address the issue of affordability; but it recognizes that many people do not wish to move away from communities where they have lived a long time and where they have their support network.
I personally would not like to move from a familiar place to a place where I knew no one. I did so multiple times, beginning when I was 17. But now, I’m like Napoleon: “J’y suis, j’y reste.”
I wonder whether Bookiemom and her husband have stayed in their vacation home for extended periods of time during different seasons? What is pleasant in summer may not be so in winter. I also agree with Garland that if it is mostly a matter of finances, there are different possible solutions than moving into the vacation home.</p>
<p>“… maybe you should try the vacation place for the winter, leaving the family home staged for showing. If it doesn’t work – you can look for other options before being stuck in the vacation home 24/7/365”</p>
<p>Or maybe you could rent out the vacation house April through October for extra cash, and restrict your stays there to the cold, dark, damp and windy winter months. Unappealing? Then staying there all year is probably not going to work for you either. I’m just saying …</p>
<p>Keep working at this and I’m sure you and hubby will find a solution that suits you both. Good luck with it.</p>
<p>BOOKIEMOM:</p>
<p>I am sorry if I seemed to be overly critical. I guess I am also amazed at the number of people who “get set in their ways” as they get older. I am trying to adjust to changing a financial situation and also take the opportunity to start a new life. I am getting towards normal retirement age, but I still vividly remember being young and having the excitement of going off to college, travelling around the country, and starting new jobs often in different cities. Over the years a lot of the curiosity and excitement has layed dormant. Raising kids and working hard at a career does that. Now I think I get a second chance. I am considering the possibilities and noticing how set in our ways we can all become. With luck and some work, may we all find ways to grow, change, and experience and enjoy more in life.</p>
<p>We are headed in a similiar direction. At this very moment, construction is underway on our future retirement house, 4.5.hours fr. here. We have lived in the same (paid for)house/suburb for 22 yrs. Our kids were born/raised here. Anything you could possibly want/need is very close by.</p>
<p>Youngest is a college soph. Our plan is to use the new house for weekends/vacations until S graduates fr. college, then move there permanently. DH finding work there will be the hingepin. </p>
<p>We are tired of our busy suburb locale and are ready for a change. It will be a big one.</p>
<p>Our new house is on the water in a rural area. It is in a development so there are a few neighbors but most lots are still empty. It’s ten miles to the nearest gro. store and then five more miles to a town of about 10,000. A college town of 70,000 (where S2 is in sch.) is 35 miles away.<br>
Sometimes it scares me but mostly I’m excited and can’t wait for it to be finished. </p>
<p>Bookiemom, I feel for you and understand some of your fears. I hope it turns out better than you anticipate. Surely there is some sort of compromise you and your DH can come to so you will both be satisfied.</p>
<p>FWIW, my in-laws retired to the beach/vacation area. We were just there this past weekend. The summers there are beautiful but so crowded. We have really come to appreciate the cooler months there. It’s a different kind of beauty. We are in NC though so that might make a big difference as far as weather goes.</p>
<p>Traveling is very different from living permanently in a different place. I know people who bought an RV when the husband retired and spent several years traveling through the country. But they always had their summer home to return to and recharge. When traveling lost its charm, they bought a condo in FLA but still retained their summer home and return there every summer. They have good friends in that summer home. Not so sure about the condo in FLA. Their children would like them to move to CA.</p>
<p>I understand that there are approximately 250,000 “full timers.” Full timers are those who live and travel in RV’s and do not have any other residence. Those living in “mobile homes” do not qualify. </p>
<p>I would think that a full time RV lifestyle would be difficult but then again some of the larger RV’s are as big as small houses. I anticipate getting a smallish house and travelling for only a few weeks or months at a time. In any case, travelling is only a small part of what I want to do.</p>
<p>My parents have a slightly different approach to their retirement. They stayed in the home where I was raised, and also still own a hunting/fishing cabin “up north”, which they have had for longer than they have had me 
</p>
<p>Every year they rent a 3 bedroom condo for 4-6 weeks in a vacation location, and they make sure the time overlaps with their various kids/grandkids spring breaks. It used to be a skiing vacation, now that they are in their 80s they have switched to Florida (but did not switch until 2 years ago!!). They don’t always rent RIGHT in the most expensive place (for example, they would rent a condo about half an hour from Aspen), since 4-5 weeks is a long rental. But they have found good deals in Florida right on the beach due to the recession. They provide the lodging, but we kids cover all our travel/activity expenses when we go. We split food costs while we are there.</p>
<p>This gives them some “adventure” time away from their home, a long enough stay to explore the area, and visits from various family. They also travel internationally, taking on average one “big” trip (2-3 weeks per year). I think they have a great mixture of retaining their roots and community connections, maintaining a desolate man-cave space for my dad :), and getting out and traveling some as well.</p>
<p>Since I live in an area where people come to retire, I’ve seen the highs and lows. It certainly helps to have friends, or a job waiting for one. That makes building a support network much easier. If one already has hobbies, so much better. </p>
<p>I also like Garland’s idea of downsizing in current community. I’d also try living in vacation home for longer, to see if it is as isolating as you suspect.</p>
<p>Are you anywhere where there is transition furnished housing is needed? Can you rent your house to military family, foreign service, or others as a temporary measure while you try to adjust to the move? Store some things you want to keep during that time and it will make the weed out process more gradual.</p>
<p>I would disagree with Singersmom’s advice. When it is time to move, do the work, put the move behind you and begin a new life. Trying to do a move in stages will only prolong the process.</p>