<p>Docmom- thanks so much for the update. I was absent mindedly reading this thread and then your descriptions of your son’s behavior in high school nearly knocked me over. Our high school junior daughter seems to be cut from the same cloth as your son. Her employer, peers and other adults adore her but she is CONSTANTLY testing us on how far she can go.</p>
<p>Unless DD matures tremendously over the next 18 months, I see a college crash and burn on the horizon. Do you think a structured gap year would have been beneficial for your son or would it just have delayed the process? CC isn’t really an option for us. We live in a small resort town and our CC will be opening up another can of worms.</p>
<p>One of my friend’s son went to Cornell. I am not sure what happened but academically it did not work out. He was a great kid, and obviously got into Cornell so his parents were not pressing to see his grades (unlike me, “Trust but Verify”). So he left Cornell and then went to a small, local college the next year…where he is thriving.
So it can happen.
But I agree with others…let your son tell you HIS plan…and if that includes returnng to that school or any school then make sure he has “skin in the game”…that is, he is financially responsible.</p>
<p>deega123, I couldn’t say about the gap year. I do know my son says now that he should have taken one, but our concern was he’d just flail and then <em>never</em> get to college, so we sent him off. And see where that got us! </p>
<p>If I had a do over I’d get him in with an excellent counselor for teens. I should have pushed harder to get that excellent one instead of just jumping from mediocre to mediocre. Boy are there mediocre counselors out there! I think kids like ours need an excellent counselor just to help them peek into their future. </p>
<p>A gap year spent in <em>service</em> would be rewarding and help direct her, I think. I know nothing about AmeriCorps but I bet people on here do. And a family counselor that can help relay your concerns about college might help her see her situation a little more objectively, too. </p>