Our Christmas has indeed been blessed by the rather unexpectedly early arrival of our little twin grand daughters. They were born just a few weeks early and spent around 10 days in the NICU and have been home now for three nights. DH and I spent the night last night (Happy New Year!!) with our DS and his wife and the babies so mom and dad could sleep. Mom is nursing, though, so of course she has to get up to feed them. She and dad DID get some sleep last night, thankfully.
The problem is those babies just can not get to sleep at night. Not at the same time. I literally spent the entire night in their nursery going back and forth and soothing one baby and then the other. I finally slept from about 6 am to 9. I loved every moment, though.
The pediatrician really stressed to the new parents that they should try to stimulate the babies during the day, but then keep things quiet and dark at night so they “establish their circadian rhythms” and learn to sleep at night. Thing is, those babies spent their first 10 days in the NICU where it’s never dark or quiet and while they were there, they slept very well. At least as far as we know, they did. Come to think of it, we did not visit them between midnight and 6 am.
I guess I am really just looking for encouragement for them. They are going to try some noise and/or music in their room, I think, but beyond that…stories of people who have been there and done this with two babies at once and survived would be great.
I also have no advice – but just keep in mind that the babies are very young and their current sleeping patterns are probably very temporary – things might be very different in a few weeks!
I do have a question – are the babies in separate cradles or cribs? If so, perhaps the parents might experiment with having them sleep together. (I’m guessing they are apart because of your writing that you spent the time in the nursery going “back an forth”).
Congratulations to you and your family. I had trouble with “two under two,” (for a short period of time) and my toddler up during the day and the infant happiest from about 11 - 3am, but not twins. I recall it as something you just need to live through. They are lucky to have you there for them.
Thanks so much for that link, Calmom! I forwarded it to my son. To answer your question, they have a nursery with separate cribs, but their plan was to put them together in a “pack and play” type small portable bed in their bedroom for the first few months. The first night was a disaster and so they decided to try having them in different beds. That was not better. So maybe they will try the first arrangement again…we will see.
congrats to your family ( I am sooooo jealous…lol)
does it help at all to have them in the same crib? My mom and her twin were kept in the same crib for awhile once my grands realized that they slept better that way.
Congrats! As a mother of twins, I second the suggestion to try putting them together in one crib. I had a nursery with separate cribs, but wound up putting them in the same crib and they tended to calm / soothe one another. The bonus was that if the bedding got soiled, there was a fresh crib they could be put into.
If their house has an upstairs / downstairs, I might also suggest getting 2 bassinets for the downstairs; that way, when the babies come down for the day, they have a place to nap. I kept 2 bassinets in my family room, and turned my bar-area into a mini-diaper changing area.
I had good sleepers, so take my advice with a grain of salt, but I wouldn’t do anything to get them to sleep that you aren’t willing to do all the time (noise, mobiles, rocking them, etc.).
Again, congratulations and best of wishes! I wish I knew now what I didn’t know then – just relax, enjoy it, get hired help or someone else to do the housework, it all goes by quicker than you realize. I will say the first year is really tough, though - I don’t want to lie or mislead about that.
My twins girls are 18 now, what a blessing. Enjoy this time with them. The first few weeks are the toughest, it will get easier, and the parents are so lucky to have you to help them!
churchmusicmom,
Congratulations! I also have twins. They turned 23 years old today. I also have twin brothers and my mother’s advice to me was that when one wakes up in the middle of the night, wake the other one! Ugh. I spent many, many, nights feeding one, going back to sleep for 45 minutes until the other one got up, feeding him (which took forever) at which point the other one was waking up again. Just ugh! They were about a month premature, but did not need to stay in the hospital past a normal amount of time. One weighed 5 lbs. 7 oz. when we left the hospital and one weighed 5 lbs.4 oz. The “larger” twin, and I use that term loosely, slept through the night by about 8 weeks. (You should cover your eyes if you don’t want to hear the “bad” news.) The smaller twin did not sleep through the night until he was…3 years old! Maybe you don’t want to tell your S and DIL that story. It will just be a circus for them for a while, but as pizzagirl says, the time does fly by. Their parents will get to the point where it is less chaos and more enjoyment.
It has been many many years since la leche. What is a reasonable length of time between feedings for very small newborns? I would have thought 3 hours was stretching it myself. Opinions?
I will pass on my pediatrician’s advice to new mothers. She was the mother of 5 children including a set of twins. She said to me: I do not enjoy the first few weeks at home with a newborn.
I think 13 days is a bit early to expect newborn twins to develop any consistent sleeping patterns. Hang in there – we have twins and have little memory of those early days as we were too sleep deprived ourselves.
I am here to tell you that I survived! As with most twins mine were born early and were so very tiny! They can’t sleep through the night because their tummies are little and the get hungry. Once they put on a little more weight they will sleep longer. Mine were so good! They somehow knew my maternity leave would be over after three months and right before I had to go back they slept through the night. (Six hours) My ex had to be at work at 6 so he did the 5 a.m. and I did the last feeding of the night. Good luck. Twins are a blessing!
I also have 23 year old twins. The first few weeks were very difficult. I think premies have a more difficult time establishing sleeping patterns and they definitely need to be fed more often! Mine were 6 weeks early and I was amazed that instead of the standard weight gain of 4 - 7 oz/week, they sometimes gained more like 8 - 12 ounces! Your DIL, breastfeeding, will be exhausted from providing all that food. Plus, if she nurses them at night, she’ll have to sit up and be awake the whole time.
There were many nights when H and I walked up and down the hall, each carrying a baby and trying to soothe it to sleep. But it does get easier and the payoff is when they start happily playing together!
For now, your S and DIL will need physical help to do anything around the house and anything for the babies that you can, so they can rest. Make a bunch of meals for them that can be frozen in small portions so they can be easily reheated and eaten. Clean their house and do their laundry and errands. Don’t plan elaborate outings or parties. Make sure DIL sits down when she nurses and have her phone, any remotes, and a big glass of water nearby.
I worked on the maternity floor ages ago…but can remember encouraging moms to breastfeed simultaneously! I can’t say that it’s still encouraged today. I bet a call to the La Leche League would be of help and support. And as far as small babies needing to eat frequently? DD was 10 lbs 11oz and birth and ate every hour! And let’s not mention when she went through growth spurts!! Breast milk is easily digested. So they eat more frequently. Mom should be eating lots of healthy carbs and protein/drinking plenty of water. Her body is on marathon mode constantly!
