<p>I have found in the last couple of weeks, actually since college acceptances have come out, that I have very little to talk to S about without him getting a little testy. He is sick of school and wants that to end, so it is a bad subject, then, because he hasn't seen his last college choice yet, he won't tell us what he is thinking about where to go. . . and apparently everyone he sees asks him the same questions. And how much can you talk about laundry, and how much mileage can be gotten out of telling him to clean his room? I begin to wonder if this is divine providence's way of helping us separate. I have backed off!! On the rare occasion S is around, there is nothing to say that doesn't cause angst! Am I alone?</p>
<p>Nothing more than the usual angst, here. :p After all, it's amazing that someone as stupid as myself has survived this long!</p>
<p>Maybe when your son makes his final choice he'll feel less testy. I know that mine has been much relieved to have the big "where am I going?" decision out of the way. He'd rather poke forks in his ears than sit through any more class, but he's managed to find plenty of things that take him away from school--debate tourneys, field trips, etc...to break it up a bit. He feels better than he did last spring...with SATs, SAT IIs, APs and finals all in a month's time. In addition, he had a lot of friends graduate last year. </p>
<p>I remember feeling the same way at the end of my senior year. I wanted the summer to hurry up and finish so I could be on my way. I am amazed my parents let me live. They must have known it would come around again!</p>
<p>Thanks for the laugh!! I was a little tensed-up myself as son walked out the door to seek more entertainment for himself, and I feel better now!</p>
<p>Good! A smile! It will be August before we know it. I just love it when they come home on break with a big sack of laundry and a yen for something homecooked. Makes me feel wanted, for about a day or two. LOL!</p>
<p>The only problem with the pre-departure phase is that <em>I</em> want to go to orientation week and go sailing and hiking and meet people from all over the place and play on my new pc and buy new books and coordinate my bedspread and curtains.....</p>
<p>Even tho my DD was acepted very early on in the process - the spring of her senior year was - lets say - just a bit tense. Being waaayyyyy ready to be done with high school (probably was ready to be done in the early fall of her senior year) and having to 'deal' with last semester junk was nerve wracking - to say the least - and took a toll. But come the last day of school and graduation - what a change - like a morph - the smiles and no stress attitude was front and center in her life - til about a week before she left for college - but wow - what a new and different kiddo she was. </p>
<p>Just hold on - your kiddo will return to their previous self in just a bit - lots on their minds these days.</p>
<p>Here's what I think part of it is. As exciting as college seems, most of these kids are, to some degree, anxious about leaving home, family, and friends. Suddenly they're going to be completely responsible for every single thing in their lives. College will be new and scary and stressful and maybe a little overwhelming. </p>
<p>As we were moving him into his dorm, mine apologized to me for his behavior the previous few months. He was a little testy and at times seemed like a different child. He said he thinks his reptilian brain was preparing him to make a break with his old life. He said getting annoyed with all of us made it easier to say good-bye. </p>
<p>Gee I hope so JEEPMOM; my usually easygoing son has been very grumpy here too. He was into his first choice in December, and at least from my perspective his life looks pretty happy - last few weeks of classes with several favorite teachers, key position on his spring varsity team that's favored to go far in the playoffs, prom date with a great girl ...Seems he's saving his grumpiness for home.</p>
<p>Yes we have crankiness issues. I have a hat I wear for sun protection, that my daughters hate. They call it the Grumpy Old Man hat. Lately I've been calling it Grumpy's Old Man's Hat. </p>
<p>I agree with all of the previous posters: angst about separation etc. In addition at our house we still have the anxiety of not having made up our minds.... well.. not having made up her mind. Well, actually I should rephrase that. She is leaning to college A. All of the more outspoken members of the family are leaning to college B. (BTW what happened to Confidentialia College?) The large lumbering males occasionally slap their chests and shout "let her make up her own mind." Jane Goodall would have a heyday at our house.</p>
<p>My son isn't tense since his college deposit went out, and hasn't slacked off, but he does seem to have joined every science or academic club in the school. I think he's facing separation from his friends by getting as much enjoyment know as he can.</p>
<p>They will return to their normal and charming selves - just give them time - I PROMISE!!!!! - they are about to venture into the next step of their lives - into the vast unknown - into their place in the world. </p>
<p>Right now their outside things are the ones that they are leaving - their comfort zones - their friends, the way their lives have been - some of these things they will never be or see again..... and they will hang onto those things as long as they can - or as long as they are allowed to - in some cases - that break will start NOW!!!</p>
<p>BUT family - pffttttt - they are stuck with you/them - they didn't get to make that choice lol - and that is who will get the brunt of the grumps. All you can do is - watch and wait - they know that a very significant part of their lives is going to be left behind - maybe forever - but that you/family will always be there. Gotta give them some slack - they will repent in time - HONEST!!!</p>
<p>yep, i for one have been super grouchy lately, concerning certain topics, anyway. i'm sick of high school, and i'm sick of trying to decide not only where i want to go to college, but what i want to do with the rest of my life (stupid scholarships asking about career plans. grr). so i've been quite short with anyone asking me questions relating to those three topics. and talking about laundry or safety or keys or bikes is almost as bad.</p>
<p>but, ask me about anything not college-related and i'm okay. :D</p>
<p>My D is so busy with two trips with school groups coming up, tutoring, babysitting, training for a summer job, studying for 4 AP tests, and a bunch of other stuff. She hasn't slacked off on her school work, but does say she is sick of school and it is a waste of time. And, like my son three years ago, I have noticed that she is much more into socializing with a larger group of her classmates than previously. The seniors start to realize that soon they won't be together anymore, and start appreciating each other's company.</p>
<p>
[quote]
My D is so busy with two trips with school groups coming up, tutoring, babysitting, training for a summer job, studying for 4 AP tests, and a bunch of other stuff. She hasn't slacked off on her school work, but does say she is sick of school and it is a waste of time. And, like my son three years ago, I have noticed that she is much more into socializing with a larger group of her classmates than previously. The seniors start to realize that soon they won't be together anymore, and start appreciating each other's company.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Thanks, MotherOfTwo! You saved me the time it would have taken to post this exact same thing about my S, though substituting gender of child and certain specific activities! <em>lol</em> :) ~berurah</p>
<p>we're definitely a part of the grouchy chorus at our house! I just assume it's normal. And once in a while, son realizes he is doing it and will throw us an olive branch to compensate.</p>
<p>We're not having trouble on the conversation end, however. I keep thinking of things I've neglected to teach/tell him during the past 18 years, that I think young adults should know. Then I blurt them out seemingly from nowhere, and we discuss them. Parents who have been more conscientious all along may not have as much uncovered ground as I do, but it certainly introduces conversations here. Husband and I are also sharing with him some of the details of our own coming of age, which he seems to find amusing. I don't think he had ever thought much about his parents' lives before he was born, much less the startling revelation that they each had pretty rich lives before they met each other. He is getting a sense of some of the racier aspects of that, which we've never shared with him before.</p>
<p>When my oldest was a senior, cranky was a major understatement, stressed and unpleasant. That summer, she was planning to go visit G'parents in the town where she grew up, we ended up canceling the plane ticket and letting her ride a Grayhound 20 hours to get there so she could leave a week sooner- it was crazy, yet so pleasant once she left. A few weeks later I met her at the U and helped her move in. All of a sudden she was fun, she liked me again (pretty much directed all angst, anxiety & negative thoughts toward mom for all of senior year) and it was wonderful. It's been wonderful ever since.</p>
<p>That transitional time is so emotionally tough and it is so difficult for them to declare their independence nicely. Thank goodness I could read all the similar stories on this board and therefore not overreact.</p>
<p>My now senior is so busy with competing on a national sports team that the entire year has been moving from one uni app to the next and then from one scholarship app to the next. She has been too busy to effort much crankiness, an occasional breakdown about how significant these decisions are and that sort of thing, but boy, oh boy, keeping them uber-busy is the way to go.</p>
<p>She has had one or two moments of being "done" with high school, but feels she has worked so hard for so many years she wants to finish strong and she is really sensing the "moving on" aspect of it all, saddened by the friends she will not see again, at least not often as they spread accross North America and even to Europe.</p>
<p>If you have a junior, think hard about how to keep them busy, encourage them not to quit their sports or club commitments, but rather finish strong. The busier, the better :)</p>
<p>My S is not grouchy...I am! He's having the time of his life....weather is great.....school is easy......big events coming up.....he's the center of such much positive attention these days. </p>
<p>I'm a grouch.....the money crunch is on (tuition still owed to HS and now tuition owed to college and I'm earning less than expected this year!) The extra expenses are adding up......tuxes, activities, trips....and he's spending like mad. After carefully checking my credit card statement (the card he uses) last week I had to ask if he was treating others to dinner (besides him and his GF). How does a 2 person dinner at Cali Pizza Kitchen come to $70? And, THEN You went someplace else for dessert! His answer: "no, it was just the two of us, we were hungry." I've been pushing for him to get a job...NOW....not waiting til summer....NOW. </p>
<p>Then there's the college thing......time to select housing....time to go to the events at the college (which is 15 mins away!). Nothing.....barely opeing the envelopes. It's like he isn't going to college. I'm ready to ask "um, are you GOING to college this fall? If you are, you might want to open these fat envelopes and follow the instructions...carefully" This isn't my responsibility. I really have to hold back on doing this stuff for him....please understand that I want to...but it's in his best interest to begin to take charge. If I don't teach him now, when will I?</p>
<p>So, I'm grumpy.....and my senior is on cloud 9! And he's being soooooo sweet these days.....walking in the front door and saying things like "Ahhhh HOME, I'm so glad to be home!" Maybe my grumpiness is nature's way of making him like home less. So far, it isn't working.</p>
<p>Ok, another example: Son just came in and said "Mom, next Sunday, please give me chores to do outside" Me: "you WANT extra chores? Why?" Him: "Because I want a reason to get up early on Sunday, besides Church" Me: "Do I have to pay you for these chores?". Him: "No".</p>
<p>Yeah, I'm sort of getting like that too...I should actually be in a less stressfull mood...its probably because now we have finals/lots of work and stuff like that</p>
