My 85 yr. old mother-in-law gets stressed out really easily. She has gone to the ER with chest pain the last two Christmas Eves.
@toledo - did you see the news about highest time for heart attacks is Christmas Eve? By a lot - like 30% more or something crazy!
My sister was diagnosed with shingles on Christmas Eve. How’s that for stressful? She was having a catered dinner on the 24th and then her family was going to come to our house for the 25th. So much for plans… 
@sylvan8798 I detest the Christmas season. I hate the commercialism, the running around, the traffic, the endless cleaning and cooking. Sorry to sound like a curmudgeon but, like you, I also teach, and after getting in the grades, holiday preparations feel like an ordeal to be endured and not a celebration of peace, love, and hope.
This all feels very petty, however, after reading about the losses and worries faced by @coralbrook @MaineLonghorn and @threeofthree during this year leading up to the holidays. My heart goes out to you all.
I like the Christmas season, but when I don’t have my kids for Christmas Day itself (they are at their father’s for the day itself this year), I get a bit depressed. I turned off social media all day yesterday. Went to a party to try to be social, but there were a few people (acquaintances, not friends) who got way too drunk and the racist stuff that came out of their mouths was insane. I left the party early. I get my kids back on the 28th, which is my oldest’s 16th birthday. Our Christmas will be the 29th or 30th.
Love to @MaineLonghorn and @coralbrook — I hope there is healing and health in 2019 for you and yours. Meanwhile, do what you need to, to get through each day.
We cancelled plans to visit the in laws (they got sick) and made a quick visit to my family (just overnight, and still it was teeth-gritting) and our kids are all here. I know I should be happy, Iknow I should be enjoying the few days we have together, but I had to shut myself in our powder room and cry today. It’s just All Too Much.
Interesting information- that planning ahead makes the Holidays more rewarding and less stressful.
Most of my life I had my main shopping done in Sept. I baked early and froze. We had more traditions such as a special blueberry coffee cake only made for Christmas day. Dinner was always the same entree. The last few years all of that dropped away. S visits just before Christmas and last year neither kid was able to be here. We did take S and his family to San Diego leaving Christmas Eve last year and that was fun. Yesterday D and her family were here. I do not know if I want to go back in time but it was far more rewarding, stress and all, than our new laid back Holiday.
Spotted a leak in the ceiling of apartment on Xmas Eve. Not actual water coming into the apartment, but a bubble behind the paint from ceiling to floor and staining on the ceiling. Landlord has been notified,no response yet.
D1 has been a bit of a pill this week. It feels like she is taking on some characteristics of her spoiled, shallow sister in law that she spends a lot of time with. This is not a positive development.
Stressful here, and a little bit sad too. There are some family dynamics that are front and center at this time of year that highlight the loss and the divisions that are always present but easier to put to the back of our minds the rest of the year. DD was home for Christmas though, so that was the highlight for me. I miss her a lot.
For those who are mourning a loss at Christmas, or are depressed or don’t have happy family situations, some churches offer a “Blue Christmas” service so that mourners can be together without all the forced cheer that they just don’t feel. My mother benefited from one of these the Christmas after my dad died.
My usual 70 hour work week has to bend so that I could prepare and lead two worship services on Sunday and another two Monday. 28 home communions. Two people in the hospital.
Husband still unemployed and ticked because I didn’t give him a present although I have had to pay for three gun club memberships and several magazine renewals (and give him spending money)… no gift from him because he isn’t employed but that is irrelevant. Kids far from home. Leaving tomorrow to visit my parents who are wanting one last family get together before they move due to failing health and dad’s dementia. My sister loves to make my life a living hell so this will be an opportunity to work on self restraint.
I spent Christmas working 16 hours for the holiday pay, but viewed it as a gift to two caregivers who could take time off- and both clients are a joy to be with. All the exhaustion fell away when the second client clapped her hands when I came in and said I was her gift.
Yes, Christmas is stressful. I have cute waaayyyyyy back. We no longer buy gifts for extended family. Hubby and I stopped exchanging years ago because we buy what we want when we want it. Last year I stopped buying stocking gifts for our two children. I hated that aspect once they grew beyond the cheap stocking gift stage. Since they both live a plane trip away, we just give money so they don’t have the hassle of packing gifts to take home.
No outside decorations. No inside decorations either. What goes up must come down. Funny, not one family member asked about the missing decorations, so I must have been the only one who appreciated them before.
This year we bought a small tree instead of the 8 foot tree we usually bought. We had it decorated in 20 minutes!
Why the stress you ask? It’s all the food prep that needs to be done on a schedule. And it’s stressful to make sure you have everything you need to continue with traditions. Plus we had our Thanksgiving Day on Sunday the 23rd since that was the only time both girls were home. And our holiday got off to a hectic start because we traveled to Newark to pick up kid one. While sitting in the airport waiting I suddenly realized she was flying into JFK. The entire drive was in the dark, in the pouring rain. We didn’t get home until 2 am. Then needed to pick up kid two at Philadelphia airport at 8:30 am.
But now it’s over! Yay!
I agree that timing can ramp up the stress.
Both H & I work at jobs that are particularly busy around the holidays. Both with time-sensitive deadlines — deadlines that do not care if it’s Xmas or not, or whether your kids are in town or not.
Always glad when it’s over. I dumped all the leftover sweets in the garbage this morning! Anxious to get back to healthier choices at hand, instead of sweets & rich food & booze.
I adore the holidays, but the last two holiday seasons have been difficult. Last year -2017- just before Thanksgiving my husband was diagnosed with a rare cancer. He had a 12 hour surgery a few days before Christmas. We scheduled it then because it was post fall semester finals for our youngest (college) and middle (first year medical school) , and at the beginning of winter break for our oldest (teacher). They all could be herr for the surgery and had finished thieir finals. He was in the ICU on Christmas. My oldest son’s inlaws included us at their family Chriatmas dinner. I put up the tree and decorations on Thanksgiving weekend brcause it gave us all some feelings of normalcy. Didn’t take them down until January 20, after he returned from the hospital. What a blur it all was.
This year my oldest’s wife’s 21 year old college junior brother died unexpectedly at the end of October. I am so darned thankful that my own husband is alive and upright this year… We have done what we could for the family. Yesterday part of them (wife came, husband spent time with his own parents) came to our house for Christmas dinner. They are struggling to make it through each day this holiday season.
I shop all year for Christmas. Not a lot, but a little bit. This year I bought Yeti travel mugs for everyone, specific socks for the runners, and really nice packable day packs on sale. Everyone gives us specific links to items they would like - including sizes and colors.
A fee years ago I told our siblings that they should stop buying gifts for our family, and that we were going to stop buying for them, that we would be happy to contribute the money we would have spent to their kids’ college funds, if they have them. That has been a relief.
I have also stopped inviting the local siblings to our house for either Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. And THAT has been awesome! It has been just us, our kids, their significant others, and people we really want to see.
We are paring doen our holidays to the essentials.
Hugs to both coralbrook and MaineLonghorn.
This year was extra stressful because we were in Hong Kong until Dec 18 and then we had everyone here for the holdiays, including a SIL and nephew. We did buy all the stocking presents in Hong Kong, and everything else from Amazon, but I usually do big meals for both Christmas Eve and Day. I stuck to cookies for dessert, instead of making pie and we did take out BBQ and pizza the other two days everyone was here. We don’t do anything but a wreath outside. I hang the icicle lights in the front windows from the inside and they look decorative, but don’t require ladders. They actually stay up year round hiding behind the shears.
My SIL is tricky - she wants her presents to be liked. My oldest never wants anything. So even though we do wish lists, his list had one item then maybe books or games, with no clue as to what he might want or already owns. We usually give him pants and t-shirts and kindle books which he can trade in for something else if he’s already read them. But SIL gave him PJ bottoms (won’t wear) and holiday socks (won’t wear - because he only wears thin socks.) This after I told here after she called me that I didn’t think he’d wear the PJs or the socks. We’d already nixed the idea of a crochet set. What the heck was she thinking??? Anyway then she offers to return stuff to try again, and it’s just not worth it. Ack!
Threads like this are always a good reminder that even “stress” is in the eye of the beholder.
With that, I will say that my holiday stress cannot compare to the losses and struggles of many here and my heart is with you and sending thoughts for better days and times than where you currently are. <3
I too have just changed the way I do “Christmas” over the years so that it is somewhat more pleasant to/for me. I try to do a lot of shopping on Black Friday/Cyber Monday online so I’m ahead of the game. I try to do most of my baking in a way that isn’t overwhelming - right now D2 still is able to help a lot with the baking and enjoys it. This year, for once I did my best to not save the wrapping - a task I don’t enjoy - until the end. I had at least 1/2 done a week to ten days before Christmas.
I also have to say, if you work or have other full time obligations, you cannot hold yourself to the same standards as other people who don’t. My opinion. 
All that said, Christmas Day is VERY full with family things and this morning I felt like I had a Christmas hangover - and I didn’t drink yesterday!
If you’re looking for tips, my recommendation would be to ahead of time set aside one or two days that you will dedicate to Christmas prep. With that day or two, you will have to decide what you can accomplish and be satisfied with that. If you work can you take one day off to “do Christmas”??? Shop, wrap and bake a couple of cookies. Decorate a tree and the mantel. Maybe that’s it! But designate true time to dedicate to the process and that’s that!
One tradition that we’ve started is going down to the Old Port section of Portland on Christmas Eve morning to shop. It’s never that crowded, but everyone is happy and the decorations are beautiful. We usually find a few things to buy, then get hot chocolate at Starbuck’s. This year, we roused the two “kids” out of bed and asked them to go with us. They weren’t thrilled to get up early, but once we were downtown they really enjoyed themselves.
We tend to have fairly low key holidays. H makes a fabulous smoked turkey, we make mochi rice in the rice cooker for another event and mainly enjoy each other’s company. I buy gifts for my two godDs, a few others and some for my kids and H. I buy and ship a few boxes of edibles to folks far away. That’s it.
The kids put up the tree on Christmas Eve with a few select ornaments and a strand of lights.
I’m so happy my kids and most of the extended family are both in town to join us in celebrations. We had one celebration at my sidter’s, one at my brother’s, one at a family friend’s and New Year’s Eve and H’s best friend’s place and New Year’s Day at another brother’s place.
I’m very sorry for all those who have had deaths and other sorrows in this season or to complicate and cast a pall over the holidays. The year my SisIL died unexpectedly, my niece and BIL came down to HI to spend the holidays with us. It seemed to help them being in a different place with different traditions and not be responsible for anything.
What does think, she’s staying at the Holiday Inn. 
I put my foot down several years ago. We tended to host and things would get out of hand – too much upkeep, too many dishes, very little help. I flat out said we are ordering pasta, Italian beef and sausage from a great local place. And we are using paper plates. Beer will be cold and plenty of wine. Cake, pie and whatnot for desert. Presents for little kids only. I got some resistance but said “you don’t have to come if you don’t want to.” It all worked out and has been easy peesy ever since.