Exactly.^ My D was a “lock” for some neighboring state flagships where she would have received some merit aid, and I couldn’t even get her to apply. One sent her a free app, and she still wouldn’t. She would not apply to our own flagship, either. Nope. They’re all too big, too “rah-rah sports” (her words).
She decided to only apply to smaller “directional” schools. They were honestly the ones she liked the most when we toured colleges.
Not to mention, there are some very bright students who would not be able to go to college if it were not for the half to full tuition scholarships given by many directional schools.
My school runs a senior seminar every spring. They talk about everything from the dangers of credit card debt to exactly what you’re required to answer if you’re pulled over or arrested to handling your own medical issues-- things live having a health care proxy. It’s the most amazing program I’ve ever heard of, and it’s presented by professionals in the respective fields.
I wish I could somehow pull my son out of his public school class and get him to my school for those few days, but of course that’s impossible. But at least I have a good idea of what he’ll need to know.
The health care proxy one is HUGE. It’s an easy enough form, but it gives you as parent the right to make medical decisions for your child if for some reason he can’t make those decisions himself. God willing, of course, it will never be necessary. But it’s absolutely on our must do list this summer.
Yes, I have had this feeling. I have had to make a conscious effort not to let it overwhelm me. My DS gave me an incredible gift when he chose not to play his usual winter sport. We actually have time now for several family dinners a week. I am trying to savor them and not always make them a discussion about what he “should” be doing with his time. I hide the tears when I realize something is a last and focus instead on the firsts as best as I can.
It’s funny this thread came up now. I’ve really noticed much more this past weekend. I don’t know if it’s related to the holidays or the countdown to graduation in my head. My son also seems to be sensitive to it. I don’t know if he’s picking it up from me or if he’s just more astute right now. He has made an effort to ensure that we engage in every holiday event that we’ve done since he was a child, even ones that it’s been years since we’ve done ( don’t worry no Santa pics) 
In terms of general “survival skills”, I feel fairly confident in his skills. As an Eagle Scout and son of an occupational therapist, he really had no choice. He’s been groomed in life skills since a toddler.
I’m afraid these feelings of time running out will only intensify over the next few weeks as decisions roll in. I need to stop looking at my countdown ap. 
@bjkmom Thanks for your advice . Do you know where to obtain a healthcare proxy fairly easily?
I’m also interested in the health care proxy, bjkmom. I’ve never heard of a program like the one your school offers - what a fantastic opportunity! I’ve just added a couple more items to the list of life skills. Would it be possible for you to post a syllabus?
^^ DS won’t turn 18 until after he’s left for college. Is it possible to do a health care proxy while he’s still 17?
I don’t think you need one for under 18, but he could go ahead and fill one out.
My kids are in mid to late 20’s and still don’t make their beds. One has a chronic illness that can be dangerous, and independence with that was my main concern. If your kid is healthy, that is a big plus.
The moment of good-bye happens many times in the next 10 years. The one when they leave for college is a big one, and signals a big change, but there will be others 
I think I am starting to really understand that she most likely will not be here next year for certain things. My D is looking at faraway schools, so she probably won’t be home for Thanksgiving. We had a neighborhood Christmas party last night and she won’t be back for that next year. Its hard to get my head around the fact that this is the last year for her to be around on a regular basis. I am happy that she is going and has such great options, but it is tinged with sadness.
D’s life skills are fine. Job, bank account with debit card, driving, cooking (only vegetarian in the family), makes and gets herself to doctor appointments, laundry, cleans room/bathroom/kitchen.
I’m really scared of the social aspect. She is reserved and gets very stressed when she is doesn’t have time to herself. I hope she gets caught-up in the social whirl that is freshman year and enjoys it and does not completely disengage. This is my biggest worry.
Yep. I’m with you. My D still hasn’t I used an ATM card, or written a check. She can’t possibly live on her own. On the bright side, she’s been driving for over a year. Maybe her roommate will know how to use an ATM, and then D can drive them to it?
@palm715 my D sounds more like yours, except for the doctor appointments, and that the cooking / cleaning / laundry only take place under duress, not as independently motivated as we’d like. She’s done great with jobs, banking (her wages are direct deposited but tips are not), driving, responsible online shopping.
You hit the nail on the head regarding the social aspect. Social anxiety has always been an issue. We see her leaning toward schools that friends plan to attend, or where there’s a 2015 grad that she knows from her school’s magnet and her primary EC.
Not that this would be a showstopper, or those are bad schools (though there are some affordability concerns with a couple of them), or we don’t like the friends. But we feel like some legitimate school choices or LLP’s are getting short shrift simply because she’s anxious about not knowing anyone.
Candidly I was hoping that entering the right college situation with a clean slate would help her outgrow her social anxiety, not double down on it. This is one of the issues setting off my “time is running out” reaction.
@2muchquan There will be ATMs on campus. Every campus I have been to has a few. Teaching her to use an ATM will take far less time than you spent teaching her to drive. As for writing checks, because I am lazy, I make my kids write out the checks they need for school and then all I have to do is sign. They hate it. I love it.
Re: Social Anxiety Coping skills
My dd has social anxiety…fortunately we discovered the extent of it during HS and not college. She started seeing a psychiatrist and was put on meds. E.g., she went from not wanting to sing in the choir in front of the entire school (she was okay with the “parent” concert), to volunteering to sing over the intercom.
So if you think this is somewhat serious, I would highly suggest you have her talk to someone. If you go over to “College Life” subforum you will find stories of students who can’t finish a semester because of anxiety… If she is anxious now, living with her parents, in her child hood home, in a familiar school, with students she has known her whole life, to No parents, New place, new friends it will just be worse.
I will tell you that Fall semester senior year is hectic, but spring semester is more chill.
I also tried to make a point to spend time with my DD that last semseter …a church committee asked me to rejoin but I said not this semester…also they get more friend focused so you have so little time with them.
@2muchquan When my DD turned 18, we got her a checking account. We did have to “practice” using the ATM and writing checks.
Also, if they are taking regular prescriptions, try to get them to be in charge of that.
Re: ATMs
Make sure that the kid’s bank or credit union account has access to ATMs on or near campus where there will not be extra fees and surcharges, and make sure that the kid knows that other ATMs may be expensive to use.
This is my D, as well. She knows the basics of cooking, laundry, is generally pretty organized, is good with saving and budgeting money, has had a debit card and checking account since freshman year of high school… She could stand to get her driver’s license before she graduates h.s…
But she is used to being an only child in the house, used to having her own room and being able to have it to herself when she needs it. She also really needs some time alone or she gets really anxious… Otoh, she enjoys being social with her friends and social events at school, etc.
So, her biggest concern about college is a potential lack of privacy and alone time… I’m hoping she can find a way to obtain that, but it probably won’t be easy.
Thankfully, she had a taste of living in a dorm room with a room mate (complete stranger) this past summer when she attended two different band camps on college campuses. she did fine, but it was just for a week at time… but she at least has a good idea of what to expect.
I would find it humorous if D can figure out the potential energy stored in a spring, but at the same time have trouble with an ATM. I really do think she’ll be just fine.
D is already wonderful at budgeting her money, might need a little primer on using checks, but knows how to use an ATM and is, in a word, thrifty, though cheap might even be more accurate. She will have additional laundry lessons before heading off to school next fall. I doubt she will ever be much of a bed maker, her study habits are really good and she isn’t a party girl at all. The biggest concern is her handling her own prescriptions, especially if she decides to go to one of the two schools on her list that are a plane, not car, ride away. This thread got me to thinking about that issue and it will be something we will discuss soon as a family, but she did her first doctor visit on her own a few weeks ago, thanks to being able to drive now, and again I doubt it will be a hard issue to work out.
Occasionally I have a momentary freak-out when thinking about the schools that are 6-7 states away on her list, but at least one of them has direct flights from our local airport (yay for schools in resort cities) and might actually be quicker to reach than her one in-state school and one of her adjoining sate schools that are 4-6 hours away by car respectively. Her closest choice is out of state, but just barely, and only two hours drive. So most of the time I am pretty calm and Zen about this, but the occasional flash of worry now and again is a good thing I think. (-:
I spend far more time worrying about college time for her younger brother who is only in seventh grade, but brilliant and both ADHD and Aspergers and the accompanying social issues. Yep, that one will be keeping me up nights for a good long time I imagine.
My senior still has his permit . . . sigh. I think he is waiting for driver-less cars to go mainstream. 
I’m really surprised at how many kids don’t have a drivers license. I couldn’t wait to get mine. Plus, being a chauffeur gets old.
If you haven’t looked at this, I found it interesting. Some overlap with OPs original post. Kinda.