My older two took driver’s ed, but in Seattle, had such good public transportation available that they didn’t get their licenses until they left home. Younger one just turned 16 so she only just started lessons, but she’ll be leaving for college in the fall, so I want her to have a license, even if she lands in an even larger city with tons of transportation options. My H didn’t start driving until he was 25 or so since he lived on a busline.
I have a 26-year-old nephew with a master’s degree and a good job who has never owned a car.
In HS it was Mom & Dad and friends. At the first Ivy he didn’t leave campus much and Mom & Dad shuttled him home for holidays and breaks. At the second Ivy and the current job (Cambridge) he lives within walking distance of work and uses public transit for everything else. Mom & Dad still shuttle him for many major family events … see the pattern here.
Living in a city that’s not very walker-friendly and where public transit is an afterthought, that’s not something we could live with, but to each their own.
@BeeDAre you articulated perfectly what some of our concerns are for our only child who is a natural introvert (like both of her parents, BTW). But I figured out how to get alone time when I wanted to. The piano in our dorm was horrendously out of tune so I just packed up some sheet music and headed over to the music building to play in one of the practice rooms. And there was always the library.
Checks? I taught mine online banking. Depositing checks with her smartphone, paying bills online or with a debit card have served her well so far. I actually did send her with one check in case she needed a t-shirt from a school club or something but she hasn’t used it to my knowledge 
I am feeling so guilty today because I overreacted to my daughter’s study habits last night. Basically, I picked a fight with her and I know it was because she just received her acceptance to her dream school. We talked it through (she recognizes that I am irrational) but I’m hoping I didn’t do lasting damage to our relationship. I never expected that the good news of her being accepted to college would make me so sad.
It will be ok @ma2020! It is an emotional time for all. I recommend extra hugs and a special outing over school break. Maybe that outing could become a new tradition?
Thanks @Cheeringsection. Good idea on the outing.
ma2020, of course you’re ambivalent about the news! How can any of us be completely happy about our kids leaving home?
We live outside NYC, and it is not unusual for kids not to learn to drive in HS. And if they don’t learn in HS, they often don’t learn during college, either. DS has not learned to drive yet, because he’s been so busy for the last 1.5 years that it wasn’t a possibility. It’s too bad that he didn’t turn 16 until the fall of junior year, because the summer before junior year was the last time that he would have been able to take driver’s ed. He will be going to a college where having a car wouldn’t make sense, so he doesn’t feel the need to learn. But I believe that everyone should know how to drive so I am going to make sure that he learns and has substantial practice before next fall.
Definitely, @NYMomof2 . Just in the past year, the nephew I mentioned was riding with his dad, my brother-in-law, who suddenly had a neurological emergency. Thankfully his son, who is licensed even though he doesn’t own a car, was able to take over the wheel and get his dad to the ER.
Wow, ohiovalley16! I hope your brother-in-law is all right! Very fortunate that your nephew is not like so many kids around here, who don’t feel the need to ever learn to drive.
^^^ Yes, thankfully it was just a “broken glass migraine.”
So we r near an urban center. Is the reason for ‘not having time’ to learn to drive because access to instruction is very distant? Because in our state there is not a large time commitment, but again our driver’s ed classes are pretty easily accessed. Even so, lots of kids here are without their DL too.
For those of you with kids you’re worried about, I want to encourage you! When my 20-year-old was a mid-year HS senior, he was a disaster. He couldn’t/wouldn’t get out of bed until noon, literally. I didn’t know if he would graduate, it was so bad. His attitude was horrible. A few days before he left for his gap year program (turned out to be the first of TWO gap years!), I told him I couldn’t wait for him to leave.
Now, 2 1/2 years later, he is a different person. He looked for work all by himself, found a decent-paying job as a bank teller, gets to work whenever required - some days as early as 7:30 am. He pays us rent without needing to be reminded (he doesn’t know it, but he will be getting back everything he’s given us). He is saving money. All by himself, he applied to our local university and got accepted. Now he is working on an app for the American University of Beirut, where he wants to attend next fall. His attitude is wonderful. He is a joy to have in our house!
If you had told me in the summer of 2013 that this would happen, I would have laughed in your face! So there is hope. I think the best advice we received when he was difficult was, “Let him do EVERYTHING himself.” When we gave him that freedom, he flourished. Counter-intuitive, but it worked in his case.
Aaaaand when the last day of finals (the 2 hardest ones) coincides with the deadline for a scholarship application (due solely to procrastination since it has been in the hopper for 6 weeks) and an early work shift the following morning - the resulting intersection was not pretty, in fact it seemed much uglier than was necessary.
Here came that “Time is running out” reaction, squared!
Not exactly on thread but yes time is running out! I have just wrapped everything that is in the house for gifts and they are quite lopsided in favor of DH and DD. I am still waiting for some things to arrive but how did this happen?!! I guess I have been spending so much mental energy “getting” DS’s college application process completed (from an administrative perspective) that he has not been on my holiday to do list. The senior pictures, grad party early planning, cap and gown and yearbook could go under the tree, in some form but that is not what I prefer to do. I have many errands to run to make this holiday NOT all about college\senior year!
Right there with you @Cheeringsection . Running out shopping now.