I’m sure I could have worded that a better way, but the context is right. My daughter scores well enough 3.9UW 32 on ACT, but I don’t think she is actually smart and definitely not intellectually curious.
Should have reworded the title to “average kid” since this is CC lol. She just does what she is told and then it’s chill time afterwards does that make sense? Tell her to write a 20 page paper she will, memorize prose she will, learn a language she will, whatever it is, but she will only go as far as her TEACHER’S push her. There is no “I want to know more once she leaves the classroom!”
Given free time there is no activity that requires brain work. Netflix, friends, nap, chill, not always in that order. If she wasn’t taught it in class she doesn’t know it sort of “ditzy” as they used to say. In everything non school related I trust her much lower (stat) sister infinitely more to handle whatever it is unless it is school work.
I think this is quite common. I feel there is a difference between intelligence and being intellectual. Although they derive from the same root, Intelligence is what we consider smart (capable of doing those assignments at a high level). Being intellectual is more about being curious. Sort of learning for learning’s sake vs. learning to get an A or perform a task.
Part of it is likely based on interest. Maybe her curiosity is pointed in a different area. S is quite smart, always been top of his class, but I would say lacking curiosity in typical educational topics. So he does well but isn’t interested in doing extra research and things like that. However, if you look outside of academia, he is extremely interested and takes a deep dive in sports. Basically knows everything about everything (stats, teams, players, records) of each major sport. If you ever saw the movie Money Ball, he’s that guy. If he could figure out a way to monetize that he’d be considered brilliant.
Once they find their passion, I think the smarts turn into something special.
You both described my 2nd. He is also a world class athlete in his sport, and can tell you about strengths and weaknesses of pretty much all the athletes at and above his level in his age group through the guys who are in the Olympics. That area gets all of his free brain time. None goes to school. School is a job. He does what needs done, then mentally clocks out.
I’m hoping he gets a bit more intellectually curious in college.
She may not have found what excites her yet. She’s still young. Or it may not be in her nature. My younger son grew up a lot in college. He was a smart slacker in high school - his grades and scores were very good, though not perfect. His grades in college were similar, but the kind of reading he did in his free time and the level of his discourse completely changed. (Not that he doesn’t still read lots of sci fi and fantasy, play video games and watch TV - but he also reads all sorts of foreign policy stuff and has a whole series of serious podcasts he listens to while commuting.)
My two don’t focus on grades much. They are capable of doing better but maximizing GPA isn’t a high priority for them. Pleasing others and convention aren’t of really high importance to them. Sometimes I wonder where we went wrong as parents. However, they are very curious outside of the classroom and have definite interests they pursue. One reads extensively, pretty weighty, intellectual stuff. The other is less of a reader but is a real doer and will take up new skills and challenges and teach themselves all kinds of things and has strong passions in specific areas. It just isn’t always related to what is going on in the classroom. Both are adventurous, always doing, always actively learning. No moss on them but it doesn’t always equate to grades or making $$.
@emptynesteryet I agree, but I know he is smarter than his grades and scores show. It’s still enough he got multiple Ivy offers, so I shouldn’t complain.
His little sister attributes his athletic success to the fact that he had to channel his competitive energies away from academics when he realized she was smarter and that he could never keep up with her.
Might be something to that, lol. She isn’t wrong about natural academic horsepower, and around the time he jumped to placing at national events is around the same time he had that same realization. And he is crazy off the charts competitive, he HAS to be winning at something!
Those 2 are relentless on each other. No cut too is deep or scab to fresh to attack. They both take it well though and have fun trying to needle each other. (My other 2 wouldn’t handle this well at all but these 2 love it). She points out to him everyone that is better than him and tells him he should probably just quit. Then privately she tells me she is toughening him up because she wants him to make the Olympics so she can go.
“School is a job. He does what needs done, then mentally clocks out.”
“It’s still enough he got multiple Ivy offers, so I shouldn’t complain.”
Nope. You shouldn’t. There is no reward for perfect grades upon graduation from an Ivy to my knowledge. Sometimes, getting what needs to be done, done, is sufficient. And there’s more to college life than grades - making friends and connections, getting involved on campus and in the community, his athletic pursuits/performance. Often these things will lead to later success, measured both in dollars and happiness, more than grades will.
I don’t think it’s unusual to have kids that are smart but not motivated or especially driven to explore. Not all people with raw intelligence are driven to explore outside the box and some people who are less intelligent are hugely successful because their drive more than makes up for whatever bit of raw intelligence they may not have.
IMO, this is one of the major reasons selective colleges use holistic admissions rather than just stats. They’re trying to find the kids who are internally driven, who will engage and explore on their own.
Yes and no. I feel that my son is intellectually curious, but he satisfies that curiosity at the moment by taking classes. He likes to challenge himself. Outside of classwork, he does like to read scientific magazines, but honestly, I feel like there’s not a lot of time for extra exploration. I do actually feel that he’s a really smart kid. He has great stats, but his friends often say he could be bet at the very top of the class if he “gave a crap.” I know he does “give a crap” maybe just not as much as the Valedictorian. Lol. He’s not really passionate about any one area of study, but has a lot of different interests.
Different interests are great and college is the perfect time to explore them. Wish I would have explored more back then. I was too focused on getting great grades and checking boxes. Don’t even work in the area I studied but have done well. Now that I see what S gets to do in college, I wish I would have joined all these various clubs. I’m sure it was available then, but I didn’t know about it or wouldn’t have cared.
I was worrying my son wasn’t curious like other kids when he was little. You know, nothing like the stereotype of bombarding parents with “why” questions. Now when he’s a senior, has perfect stats and does tons of ECs with a passion, I’m upset that he doesn’t read books for pleasure any more. Its always something.
@yucca10 - My son has drastically cut back on the reading for pleasure too. He used to devour books. He just doesn’t seem to have time these days with all the APs etc. Ironic, huh? He did get to read some Clive Cussler over summer break, though. Sure, it’s not “Bleak House” but it’ll do. It was just good to see him reading for fun again.
My dear wife used to call my DD “average kid” in front of me and my DD, either truly believed that or just tried to humble DD. There were a few occasions that my DD was upset of being call that by her mom that she proclaimed “I am not an average kid, I hate being an average kid”. Don’t know if her mom’s remark had any true cause and effect relation, but since fourth grade and throughout her high school, DD always tried to take hardest courses available to her and ended up with bunch of APs and near the top of her class, maybe just tried to prove her mom wrong.
So, going from the 13 replies or so I guess the answer is NO lol because everyone had a “but” in there reply. My son or daughter “but” does this, that, or other.
My kid literally does nothing except watch Netflix, hangout with friends, nap, and chill. No books, no documentaries, NADA, No video games, no sports, if “watching Netflix” was a thing she would be Nationally ranked.
She did read 5 books because a college app asked how many books did you read in the last year. So, she spent 5hrs a day and about 8hrs on weekends for a month reading, so she could say she read 5 books. Again…….if it isn’t for school she isn’t doing anything.
@emptynesteryet I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being an excellent student (as your daughter’s GPA and test scores would suggest) and happy to be herself otherwise no matter what that is. I have a feeling that there are more strong students like her than not. College Confiidential might not be the best place to look for them as it seems to be a highly skewed population.
This is the result of standards based education and the Common Core. You are right…we’ve taken away the love of learning and curiosity instilled in students and replaced them with benchmarks. This is starting right from pre-school. Very sad.
@emptynesteryet this is called normal. My smart high Stat kid in engineering sophomore college, used to come home and play 3 hours of ps4. I am like don’t you do homework ever and he says he gets it all done at school. He told me he needs his down time to de-stress. Never thought of that. Told him once your grades dip… It gets unplugged and that never happened. Their school is so academic and hard the kids need their “Netflix” time or whatever. If your kids grades and achievements are there, give them their time but I know what you mean. Now common sense… No… Can he tell you about things you never heard of… Yes.
However, they are very curious outside of the classroom and have definite interests they pursue. One reads extensively, pretty weighty, intellectual stuff. The other is less of a reader but is a real doer and will take up new skills and challenges and teach themselves all kinds of things and has strong passions in specific areas. It just isn’t always related to what is going on in the classroom. Both are adventurous, always doing, always actively learning. No moss on them but it doesn’t always equate to grades or making $$.
There is no reward for perfect grades upon graduation from an Ivy to my knowledge. Sometimes, getting what needs to be done, done, is sufficient. And there’s more to college life than grades - making friends and connections, getting involved on campus and in the community, his athletic pursuits/performance. Often these things will lead to later success, measured both in dollars and happiness, more than grades will.