<p>If you want to hear overprotective—here is what I did. My then 19 yo D. met a guy online that lived several hours away. They had talked online and by phone for a month and she wanted to meet him. They made arrangements for him to come to her city and meet in a public place (she had girlfriends in attendance too). What I did that my D. said was “psycho” was had a friend who does background checks for large companies run one on this person to see if in fact he was who he said and info all matched. All was clean and I didn’t confess to D. until later. </p>
<p>Several months later this young man was changing jobs to one that would require an extensive background check–his statement was “Well, I know I’ll check out clean my gf’s mother already had it done”. </p>
<p>Ironically, a d. of his father’s friend was abducted and killed by a man she met online a few months later—then he and my d. didn’t think I was so crazy.</p>
<p>"What I did that my D. said was “psycho” was had a friend who does background checks for large companies run one on this person to see if in fact he was who he said and info all matched. All was clean and I didn’t confess to D. until later. "</p>
<p>Not psycho at all. Lots of the info probably also is in public records that one can get for a fee through a place like Switchboard.com or through simply examining the records yourself.</p>
<p>I used to teach journalism, and taught my students how to do background checks. One did it on a guy who wanted to date him. He had been bragging about all of his property. Her background check indicated that “his” property really belonged to his mom. My student declined his dates because she figured if he lied about something like that, he was lying about lots of things.</p>
<p>For years in NYC, it has been routine for people to Google folks before dating them. Amazing what you can find out that way.</p>
<p>you would think that at least using google would occur to most who use the intranet but even the national headhunting firm who was looking for a district superintendent only researched criminal background on applicants, not double checked their references with news articles on why they were looking for a new job!( of the 4 finalists- they all dropped out after their past history came to light)
But re this friendship- I would not have an ultimatium, but I would meet the girl before I made any further pronouncments</p>