Talk to your college counselor at your boarding school. The counselor won’t want to say anything too definitive- admissions for international students to T30 schools are a crap shoot at the best of times, and they won’t want to mislead you- but ask for examples of schools that they could imagine putting as targets for you, based on what they know so far. Look at what those schools are: if that’s where you ended up, would it be worth it?
Fwiw, remember that the first term in a new school and country is simply exhausting, so it is not surprising that you felt more motivated and inspired at home. Don’t discount the possibility that once you have found your feet you will have the energy and enthusiasm to do more things.