<p>Sacha is a big furry male.</p>
<p>If you like British humour, (Ali G or The Office), you will also like “French and Saunders–Back with a Vengence.” dvd avail from Amazon.</p>
<p>Jennifer Saunders has three teenage daughters–and it shows. The skits with teen are ROTFADL skits. And their rendition of 40 soemthing women is right on the money–if we were honest. ;)</p>
<p>Yes…I like The Office and found his new show recently…and will hunt up your suggestions on Ebay…</p>
<p>Cheers…sounds like humour is one of your businesses! good screen-name for you.</p>
<p>Love Jennifer Saunders; worshipped Absolutely Fabulous.</p>
<p>Sorry for the mini hijack; comic relief for overly snoopy mothers ;).</p>
<p>SBmom,
You are forgiven…but you are making ME a bit ‘homesick’!</p>
<p>Woodwork,
Loaded question, yes…variation in contact a reflection of them not caring for our ‘kind of interest’- I think not so much. The boys are eager to share, eager to know during the weekly calls. They know they can call day or night if they want to (especially since their day is our night!)…the same as has always been the case. They also ask our opinions, share their perspectives, give us insight into their feelings, talk about big changes- but they do it once a week. I don’t know about their eating schedules, minor issues with roommates, who they are going out with on Saturday night, or every paper or test- which many of my friends who have kids seem to. I have a sense of what their daily life is like (best question ever asked of eldest son: What do you do on a Sunday/Tuesday. Answer: Well, technically Sunday starts at midnight, I am usually up until 3 or so doing… and then…and on Tuesday, getting up is easier than in HS now that the professor gave me that extra work for being 10 minutes late). One question, one answer, buckets of info…</p>
<p>I am accustomed to very long distance relationships with people I love. In all contacts I try to be mindful of their needs as well as my own, I like it that the boys are modeling the same. There was never a leash, there was always a cord, and there still is- but maybe because they are boys this is how it has evolved. And as I noted, I can’t imagine using cyber-info that they did not share with me first.</p>
<p>Robyrm,</p>
<p>I couldn’t disagree with anything you said; moreover, it was all well said. Circumstances change, gender seems to play a role…however, I have never sought to be my children’s best friend, but I have always warmly–and, at times, firmly–befriended them and they me.</p>
<p>We have also moved around a bit and I wonder if that has made our own relationships that much more precious. </p>
<p>As to cyber-awareness, I wouldnt even know where to begin as I havent heard of any of the things mentioned but if I had they would have meant nothing to meI have a real relationship with my daughter, I dont need a clandestine one to supplement it.</p>
<p>I have a young son coming up behind my daughter in ten years Ill get back with you on the difference between boys and girls:)</p>
<p>Woodwork,
My daughter is 10 years younger than my eldest son. My husband suspects she will be riding off on the back of a Harley- so the stories could be a bit more interesting.</p>
<p>Expat families are often tight. Kids tend to not get as rebellious in their early teen years (as might be developmentally typical) because so much is riding on these relationships. If you have moved often, it is likely to be the same scenario for you. I definitely was pushing my parents away as an 18 year old to a much greater extent than my boys are, I know that. </p>
<p>I hope that we just have the collective wisdom to not let technological access or availability be the determining factor in terms of our relationships.</p>
<p>Thanks berurah and emeraldkity for the kind thoughts. The metro N.O. area will need so much help for a long, long time.
berurah, I am so distressed that anyone would say such an unfeeling and ignorant thing about a person’s religion. I am a Christian with many Jewish friends and I can’t stand for anyone to make such remarks. Please know that for such people, “you have to consider the source” as my wise mom always said.
Hey, we’re going to see S tomorrow for the 1 st time since he left in August. So happy!
Take care everybody!</p>
<p>Ab Fab is good…written by french and Saunders but the actual French and Saunders series is funnier–especially the Back with Vengence series. Says me. I start laughing as soon as I see them on the screen. </p>
<p>The whole premise is a laugh on us. I f our kids watched it they would know FAR too much aboutthe inner workings of their mothers! (Not that mine are interested).</p>
<p>tabbyzmom~</p>
<p>Enjoy your visit with you son!!! My son will be home today for Fall Break, and we are ecstatic here too! love, ~berurah</p>
<p>Sorry for jumping into this forum despite being a high school kid. I found this really interesting, because I’ve never known my mother’s thoughts about her and mine relationship and what she has tried (or not tried) to do.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I’m part of an expat (diplomatic father) family. I think for some of my int’l friends, they’re close to their parents/family. However, I have to personally disagree. I think the fact that we have moved around so much has INCREASED my parents’ sense of protectiveness over me. They often cite the fact that we don’t know the language (Vietnamese and Romanian), it’s a new environment or are female (three girls, no sons) is justification for their behavior. (I don’t know how to use the bus system in ANY of the countries I’ve lived in.)</p>
<p>It may also have to do with cultural/generational differences. My parents are conservative Malay Muslims and I’ve grown in a international setting my entire life. As such, some of my beliefs clashes with them. (For example, I can never tell them I’m a bisexual.) They believe we should be home by 6 pm, and any place open after 9 pm are places of “bad influence”. However, I was close to my older sister.</p>
<p>As such, when I turned 16 in June 2004, and she was going off to uni in the US, I decided to live alone in a pre-u college in M’sia while my parents stayed in Vietnam. I was immature and couldn’t stand the thought of living with my parents alone without her there, and I also thought A-Levels was better than the IB. </p>
<p>My parents don’t really know how to use the Internet or Word, even, and definitely not MSN. So they called me (and my two sisters) once a week and I admit I wasn’t cordial whenever they called. I hated it at my college, experienced culture shock despite being back in my home country and so I became depressed. My parents knew I had cut myself and flew to M’sia to help me get therapy, and flew me back to V’nam to recuperate before allowing me back to Sunway College. I couldn’t stand it after a few months and tried to commit suicide.</p>
<p>Long story short, I was placed in a psych ward and when my parents moved in 2 months to Romania, I came along. And despite everything that’s happened, I don’t talk to my mother or father much. They don’t know what the play I’m in is about, they don’t know I have to dress as a tavern wench, they don’t know what classes I’m taking, and they don’t know the names of any friends besides one whose mother is my mom’s friend. The clashes that existed before - culture and religion - still exist. We don’t have deep philosophical arguments, discussions about books (we don’t read the same thing)… Conversations are usually about education or what time I’m coming home from school or my health.</p>
<p>I know I’m a less than ideal daughter, but I find the atmosphere at home very stifling. Having a father as head of the embassy makes life hard on the children, as the culture of your home country and what you truly believe in/host country culture can clash very much. There’s the expectation that you will also do your father’s job - i.e. represent your country, make your family and country proud, know oodles of knowledge about your country, even if you’ve never enrolled in a national public school and learned history/language/economics/politics.</p>
<p>Sorry. I’ve ranted on and I think diverted from the point of this thread.</p>
<p>My thinking is that if your child has a web blog and s/he makes it public, fine, read it. (I hope they never find mine.) But unless your child wishes you to know what is happening in her life, parents shouldn’t intervene or needle needlessly. Having both a culture and generation gap can make relationships strained and there are just cases when no middle group can be found and so talks/emails will have to be kept on superficial grounds such as “how are classes?” and “did you eat at school today?”.</p>
<p>IzzyJ,
I am still lurking, not posting, so I have sent you a PM…
Robyrm</p>