Was there plenty of free food and drinks to be had? Or just drinks/appetizers? 
Just a lecture and Q & A, Iām afraid. We did shake his hand at the end and tell him we were on a date. He seemed to get a kick out of it.
On the other hand, I met George Will over trays of General Tsoās Chicken at the Leverett House Current Events table, but he was married.
@Marian I suggested he wait until he was older to marry for a variety of reasons. While I have no interest in controlling when he does get married or dates in reality (he has had a long term girlfriend), I donāt consider my advice any different than any other advice or suggestion Iāve made as he grew up. As I stated before, I would have suggest same thing to a girl.
@IfYouOnlyKnew youāre missing the point of the question. I believe the point the poster was trying to make was that there is really no difference between being in a long-term relationship (not single) and being married. So why advise waiting?
@suzyQ7 I got the question, my reading comprehension is intact. The idea that every family has norms, culture, religious preferences, etc that dictate how they instruct their children seem to be lost on many here. Furthermore, never assume living together is an option for every person.
Well, thereās also the issue of whether a parent would instruct their children on a particular subject.
It would not have occurred to me to tell my children when they should get married. It did occur to you. So thereās that difference, too.
As is pointed out multiple times on this website, once our children, female or male, are 18 or older, we as parents donāt have much (or any legal) control over what happens in their lives. Whether or not our kids meet boys or girls to date is included in that list of things we as parents donāt get to choose. That our adult kids are or are not dating or in a relationship while in college is likely a matter of timing, luck, readiness, societal/current popular factors which probably has more to do with why any particular person is or isnāt dating or in a relationship. Thereās nothing wrong with the individuals (daughter/other female friends) as @Lindagaf might have been asking in the original post. Maybe just a matter of timing for the women in question. If the girls want dates/boyfriends/relationships, it will likely eventually happen.
D1 has a college friend her same age (27) who hasnāt found the right guy yet. This friend lives in a large East Coast city with her older sister, who is in her mid-30s and not attached. Dās friend has been pretty aggressively online dating for the past year or so ā she doesnāt want to be her sisterās age and single. There is a new guy in the picture friend likes a lot ā we have our fingers crossed for her. Unattached kids have that option if they decide they want to date more once they settle in out of college. I feel like they have more options to meet people online than we had.
Online is a great option for some. Both of my sisters met men through online dating in their later forties who might be judged better than their first husbands. However, I donāt think young college aged people would choose online dating before try other conventional approaches.
I donāt like this statement. āDestined to be librarian with cats.ā It sounds like gloom and doom if a woman doesnāt find a suitable person to settle down with within a certain time frame. Whatās wrong with being a career woman, enjoying life, and traveling the world?
To me the aggressive dating posted above (367) comes off as pushy and desperate.
The whole vibe of the thread appears to me as if a person canāt be happy if they donāt find the right person within a certain time frame and settle down. Is the consensus that a woman canāt be a happy single person or that they are a failure if they donāt find a mate within a certain time frame? Marriage is not for everybody and gone will be the days where a woman needs to get married so that she can have kids and be a SAHM and financially be supported by her husband. Very few families can do that these days. Woman have invested in their education and careers and have a right to fulfill their own goals in life. Why this fear of being alone?
I am not worried about my daughter getting married. That is not a guarantee of happiness as I have seen plenty of women stuck in unhappy marriages because they donāt have the confidence that they can make it out on their own.
I see a lot of self sacrifice made by women to keep their marriages intact. Frankly I get tired of meeting my friends and all they do is complain about their spouses.
There is another thread called, āI am not destined for grandchildren.ā Is that really the end of the world? Seriously is that what life is about get married, have kids, and then grandkids. I have friends that are well educated and have nice careers but donāt want a man in their life. They are very happy and very financially secure. Some of them wanted to be mothers so they adopted kids. I have a lot of regard and respect for them.
If you feel bad that you will never have grandkids go volunteer in a neonatal unit or be a foster parent.
I have told my daughter donāt get married just for the sake of getting married. Marry only when you find that person who you feel respects you and is worthy of you. If it is meant to be it will happen if not so be it.
For me my peace of mind will take place when she is financially independent, taking good care of herself, and exploring all life has to offer and being the best version of herself.
^ @raclut - I wish I could ālikeā your post multiple times.
Well said.
^^^^ I think it was just OPs way of providing levity to the topic. While the discussion is very interesting itās taken a much more serious turn than I think was intended. I believe there is an unspoken rule that in every generation that parents must bemoan the the behavior and the future of their offspring. Iām not immune to this. I catch myself often lamenting the fate of our world at the hands of my childrenās generation. I figure if the world survived us (baby boomers) it can survive anything. I am also confident the OP and her D will find the romance they are seeking. 
āIt sounds like gloom and doom if a woman doesnāt find a suitable person to settle down with within a certain time frame. Whatās wrong with being a career woman, enjoying life, and traveling the world?ā
āThe whole vibe of the thread appears to me as if a person canāt be happy if they donāt find the right person within a certain time frame and settle down. Is the consensus that a woman canāt be a happy single person or that they are a failure if they donāt find a mate within a certain time frame? Marriage is not for everybody and gone will be the days where a woman needs to get married so that she can have kids and be a SAHM and financially be supported by her husband.ā
I donāt feel like that is the vibe on this thread IMO. I think most are hoping that their children āhave it allā - a great career, enjoying life, travel - AND spouse and kids. My spouse and children are some of the happiest parts of my life. Given that, of course I ideally wish my kids to experience the same. If not, of course it is fine. And this holds true for both sons and daughters. Many have commented here about their sons as well as daughters. I donāt think this is about being financially supported by any means.
āTo me the aggressive dating posted above (367) comes off as pushy and desperate.ā
I think a woman (or man!) actively looking for a mate is fine. I think society does a head trip on females thinking they shouldnāt āaggressivelyā pursue romantic relationships. If itās good for the goose, if itās good for the gander, in my book. Men seem to get less flack if actively dating or pursuing dating. Nothing wrong with pursuing and putting some effort into what you want in life. If someone was expending energy on career, fitness, or other goals, it would be A-okay. Whatās wrong with actively trying to meet someone as well?
āI have seen plenty of women stuck in unhappy marriages because they donāt have the confidence that they can make it out on their own.ā
I think everyone here is hoping for the HAPPY, working kind of marriage. Itās not all doom and gloom out there.
Again, I doubt anyone here is saying that life would be miserable without a life partner and children, but they can be GOOD things and enhance the other aspects of oneās life.
Yes, @lvvcsf , this was intended to be a light hearted motherās lament. @raclut , did you read my opening post? I love both things. Itās not doom and gloom. Itās a pretty common stereotype about single women, and it was all meant to be a bit of levity. I feel that people simply skipped to the last ten pages of this and completely missed out on the earlier stuff. I only want my daughter to have some kind of love life at some point. Not quite ready to see her married to anyone just yet.
Once theyāre out of college, though, this option may seem appealing. More appealing than meeting people in bars, anyway.
For many people, these are among the highlights of life. But not for everyone, and not even for everyone who has children and grandchildren.
It seems like there are few people here who get the levity of the chit chat, and a few who want to make sociological statements.
Isnāt this what feminism is supposed to be about? Supporting a womanās choice? If a woman wants a great hard charging career great for her, if a woman really wants to be a stay at home mom, good for her too. If she wants something in between, fantastic. Itās great to have choices and options.
And what are we supposed to worry about after they get educated and jobs?
I donāt think itās a throwback to the 50ās to want to have love in your life.
One of the gifts my parents gave me and my sister was absolutely no pressure to get married or have kids. (the did say we had to graduate from college , though). I ended up marrying young (23) and had my first child 10 years later. There were people who asked me about that/made remarks, etc. but not my parents - not ever. My sister was single until her mid 30ās and no pressure from my folks. (she also has 2 kids).
I know that they were happy that we eventually both ended up as we did, but they would have been fine if we hadnāt married or had families. They just wanted us to be happy.
It doesnāt necessarily have to take the form of a marriage.
Several friends have been in long-term relationships and living together for yearsā¦even decades without formally tying the knot. And theyāve outlasted dozens of bona-fide marriages I knew of in the meantime.
Also, some folks arenāt ready for/built for marriages or even LTRs. Have a few older cousins who still havenāt settled down and enjoy dating(and are able to attract) different people well into their 50s.
It is a lot more difficult to get divorced than to get married.
College student perspective here!
I had often assumed, while in high school, that I was destined for cat-filled librarianhood (or engineerhood in my case, but Iāve always maintained a personal library and Iāve never owned a cat but adore them all the same). I donāt drink; it never really interested me, except for a social glass of wine over dinner with family friends. I am not a party-goer; if Iām invited to a party I usually say I have plans and spend that time reading a book (if youāre a āHamiltonā fan, definitely try the Ron Chernow biography itās based on!). I had very few friends in school, and most of the guys in my life considered me a good friend, not a romantic interest. I tend to freak out and shut down if guys do try to flirt with me. My parents were always willing to give advice and occasionally checked in, but didnāt pressure me one way or the other, except to remind me that school is a good priority at this point.
Then came my freshman year of college. My attitude going in was that I would prioritize my studies but remain open and willing to see potential in relationships, both friendships and otherwise. One Saturday morning in September, my roommate wanted to sleep in instead of going across the street to our laundry room with me, which was our usual arrangement. So I went alone, and the only other person in the laundry room was an acquaintance who lived down the hall. He was also in the fencing club, and I knew he was a math major. Since thereās not a lot to do in a laundromat on a Saturday morning, we got talking. As it turns out, we are both huge fans of Isaac Asimov and Douglas Adams. It also turned out that we had both been going to the dining hall for breakfast at the same time on weekday mornings and had somehow never run into each other. So we decided to go together from then on. Later that November, I formally asked him to ask me out (unfortunately our official anniversary often falls on election day). Iām a rising junior and we are still dating.
All this to say, if they want to date, there are many ways into it, sometimes in the form you least expect. All you have to do is remain open and let luck happen (whether the luck occurs in the real world or online). And itās totally OK to be a librarian, especially one with cats. I should know, my boyfriend has four of them.