@fractalmstr , I know parents always claim to know exactly what their kids have been up to, but I am 100% certain no hanky panky has been going on. Of course they have high standards, duh! That’s the only explanation I will tolerate.
And ahem, what’s wrong w/ being a librarian??
Yeah, no relationships in college, but met my husband a week after starting grad school.My two sons (currently ages 21 & 18) tell me I’m going to have to wait another 20 years for grandchildren.
Personally I would pass on the cats . . .
Librarians Rock! @Bekp2018 , that gives me hope. But everyone needs cats in their lives. Lol!
My S and his friends didn’t even date in college. Some of them are dating a little now, but some still are not, three years out.
On the positive side, your D isn’t experiencing relationship drama while in college. It can be very distracting. My S says that although he wanted to date in college, it worked out well for him that he didn’t and could fully focus on his grades and activities.
Ok @psychmomma , your son and his friends can come to the CCCer’s Speed Dating Event too.
Librarian with cats sounds like nirvana to me and an enviable achievement. Maybe someday I’ll get there…
Our son will not consider marriage until his five years of service are done and even then he’s not sure how far along in his career he wants to be before considering marriage. He also has a one-child-if-any rule, so it may be grandcats for me, too. He loves cats. He’s sitting at the other end of the couch from me playing with one now .
I did set him up with the lovely young sister of a co-worker for the cadet ball two years ago. He had a great time, but did not pursue. I learned his marriage philosophy above shortly thereafter. And he also told us that “cadating” is tricky and to be avoided, so no relationships.
@Consolation – @menloparkmom and I were plotting to get our children together. Sadly, they’re now on opposite side of the country.
I TOTALLY SUPPORT the idea of a CC Matchmaking Club. I will not tell my daughter about it. But I would have oh, so much fun.
PS The idea of grandcats never occurred to me. Such a cheerful idea! I may yet have a ‘grand’!
S has been dating a bit – he’s 29 and happy in his career. He tends to tell us AFTER he’s broken up. H and I have never been introduced to any of the women he’s dated, tho D met one of them as she, S, and niece were all traveling for a month together.
As far as I know, D has not dated other than being invited and attending SR prom in HS. She has many male and female friends, is smart, attractive, etc. She’s 27 and picky. Some of her friends are in serious relationships, including living with significant others while others are not dating or in relationships either.
My youngest sister is sweet, sensitive, and wonderful. She was very shy and never really dated much. Finally my younger sister set her up with one of her coworkers when both were in early 40s. The relationship flourished and they married and now have a son.
Our D is in the same boat, dated one guy for about a month last fall but that was it. Adding to Lindagaf’s point, D is an over-sharer and has no shame so we would know. She went to one party in her 3 years at college, showed up an hour before the start and left after 30 minutes. It was at her older brother’s apartment. Maybe now that she is 21 she can be a little more social, but, realistically, grad school will be more target-rich for her.
S1 is off the market. He has been dating his gf for more than two years. We figure he is one diamond ring away from being engaged. S2, though, heading to college in the fall, has my social skills (almost none) but the body of an underwear model. He jokes that he will maintain his purity until he is 40 then be snatched up into Heaven. He will continue to be available until some generous female is willing to take on a project.
Count me in !
Unfortunately, my DS, age 29, is now busy finishing his PhD and his next move is for a 2 year postdoc in Fairbanks, Alaska!!
Yikes! Anyone know any really smart female science geeks up there?? 
he does love cats, fortunately, as do I!
It is somewhat of a new phenomenon only because the idea of an independent woman is a relatively new phenomenon
My roommate in college and my partner’s roommate both didn’t date until after college was over. Partner’s roommate still never has as far as I know.
I was Mr R’s first real girlfriend. I was also his first romantic kiss. (He had kissed some people jokingly at parties or whatever- and might’ve made out with someone when he was drunk.) We got together late in our sophomore year.
I don’t think they’re destined for anything… but college is one of the easiest times to find someone since there are so many people your age around.
She’s only a freshman. I wouldn’t worry about it at all 
“your D isn’t experiencing relationship drama while in college. It can be very distracting”
This is very true. I can speak from family experience. Both my kids are the opposite of this thread. They always seem to be in a romantic relationship - the majority of some meaningful duration or another. Both are very much pursued for whatever reason. They tend to be very smiley, socially comfortable people. Both have been labeled as flirts which is odd because it’s seldom intentional. Being small town, small school people, they smile and converse with others naturally and that seems to be construed as “flirty” by some even when there is ZERO intent.
But, yes, with relationships often comes drama and distractions from other things in life like studying. :-?? Be careful what you wish for!
S is now living with his GF, who I think is The One, and they do have a cat. 
I think I will have to be satisfied with that for a while. In the meantime, I live vicariously via the wedding threads. B-)
I could have written that first post myself with a few changes but pretty much the same. DO NOT WORRY lol. D is a rising junior and started talking about really wanting a boyfriend or at least start dating about mid way through last semester. She just came home from a two week backpacking trip to Spain and I’m not sure what happened while she was there but she chatted all the way from the airport about the boys and the different drinks she tried. Woozers, she had never tried a drink prior to this and two weeks in Spain and she was rating the cocktails she and her best friend tried. Apparently if you order a drink, the tapas are free and they thought this was a good cost-saving measure lol. Good news is nothing really did it for her…sangria too sweet, wine makes her pucker, beer was yucky, though she did say the martini they tried was pretty good. As for the boys, apparently Spanish heritage does it for her. She said she is going to make a conscious effort to start dating this upcoming year and expand her friend circle, both males and females. We had a slow start for sure but I think she is on full speed ahead now!
@fractalmstr
The only 20 year olds I know not in relationships are very spiritual and waiting or just having sporadic casual 9nes when the need arises.
@fractalmstr I couldn’t disagree more. We are talking about a different demographic here. My D is very open and honest with me. She has taken an oath of celibacy at this time. I do think she is starting to change her mind and become more open to a physical relationship with someone before marriage, but it certainly won’t be casual. I’m not judging, I attended high school in the 70s when sex was fairly casual and being inexperienced in college was frowned upon. I do think there’s a group of girls out there, my D included, who can see past the drama BS and put their academics first.
Additionally, remember that a portion of the population is asexual. Some people honestly do not care.
DS was the same way. Didn’t date at all in high school. Had a short lived relationship in sophomore year in college. In junior year in college started dating his current gf, whom he had know since freshman year. 2 years into grad school (at the same university) they are still together. They are moving in together in a few months.
He is that kind of guy. In many aspects of his life, he waits until he finds something good and then sticks with it.
BTW - he has a cat and gf has 2 cats.
My daughter is a librarian … with cats.
She’s getting married in 11 days.
My daughters are 26 and 24. They occasionally bemoan the condition of their love lives. Both meet people online; the older one dates more often but has had only two semi-serious relationships. I understand their desire to meet “the one” but also am careful not to push. I got married when I was 23 and, except for having my two lovely daughters, I consider the marriage to have been a really bad thing. (I’ve been divorced for one year.)