<p>Frazzled, Zimmer, Suzy,
Excellent posts!! Couldn’t agree more. There is a lot of talent on this forum, and the potential for more to be shared. Sometimes opinion polls can be helpful, but there are so many other ways that posters with experience in this field can help those who come here seeking information and suggestions.</p>
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<p>Ooops! I’m so sorry - it slipped my mind that you are also a professional admissions counselor, soozie! I remember thinking, when your ds went through this process, that it would certainly be an excellent and fitting career for you. I’ve even recommended to people that they look you up on CC when their kids seem similar to yours. (Tried to PM you but your mailbox is full.) It’s great that you’re sharing your expertise with kids whose profiles are different, as well.</p>
<p>You responded to the OP with such a well-reasoned post - I hope he’ll answer.</p>
<p>With the 30 years of experience, why did OBW make the comment that his dog knows more about college admissions than he does?? Curious…</p>
<p>Maybe we should invite the dog onto CC to give some admissions advice since OBW doesn’t seem willing to volunteer his expertise now that he is retired and can help some students or parents here? :D</p>
<p>OBW…what do you think about using some of your time on CC to contribute advice to those who come here seeking help with this process?</p>
<p>When I first joined CC, I read posts by a young woman who was very upset that her parents were pressuring her to apply to Yale instead of a LAC, and were threatening not to send in fees for any application other than to Yale. Definitely pushy parents. There were, as well, posts from another young woman who was upset that her parents were willing to fund only her education at their state school despite the fact that they could, in her estimation, easily fund her education out of state. But they preferred to spend their money on a new Humvee for her 16-year old brother and a Porsche for themselves. Not my definition of pushy parents.
Some CC members may also remember the young man whose widowed mother refused to fill out the FAFSA, went to Las Vegas to gamble, despite their precarious financial situation, etc… CC posters provided him with a lot of advice; he has since come back to thank posters and to report he is thriving at a top university.
Then there is a current student poster whose parents refuse to let her go away to college because they do not trust her away from home. At the other end of the spectrum there are parents who allow their kids to drop out of school, get involved in drugs and petty crime. Either way, neither kinds of parents fit the description of “pushy,” “Ivy-obsessed,” “entitled.”
If I were a GC, I’d worry even more about the drop outs than about students who may or may not have pushy parents. In fact, one reason so many people come to CC for advice is that their GCs are too busy dealing with at-risk students to give help to trouble-free college-bound students. That is the reality for a lot more students and their families than the pushy parent scenario OBW keeps on presenting here.</p>
<p>Right-o marite.
There was also a girl who recently posted (if I am remembering this correctly) that her parents are “forcing” her to go to Wellesley. There will always be these stories, and there will always be well reasoned posters who address the over-the-top parents. But they are the EXCEPTION, not the rule. But to imply otherwise, especially to new members to CC who are looking for information, does, IMO, a disservice to this excellent forum. There will always be good and bad information out there. A person who has worked in the field will, however, be assumed to have helpful information. </p>
<p>As for the dog, I must admit that it made me think of the TV shows that end with the picture of the dog and the line “sit, UBU, sit”. I forget which production company that is, but I have to smile at the similarities in the names…</p>
<p>Agree with all that Marite wrote. Her synopsis of the students and families we see seeking help on CC is truly more the reality than the pushy parent profile that OBW paints as typical.</p>
<p>Looks like we cross-posted, suze</p>
<p>Seems like each of OBW’s threads are Chapter headings for a book on “Do not Apply to Ivy league Schools or Else.”
I swear he is just copy/pasting everyones comments and hitting print. Soon we will see his book and our words in Barnes and Nobel.</p>
<p>OBW, what I am most uncomfortable with is not your message but your method. Although your intentions may be good (although I still suspect your true motives), your methods leave a lot to be desired.</p>
<p>Yes, it would be great if some of the parents you are trying to target could be reached through this forum, or come to recognize that they may have deficiencies in their parenting styles as a result of something that they may have read on this forum. And perhaps some will. But not from threads that seemed to be aimed at targeting them as “bad” individuals. To expect them to bare their souls on this forum seems not only very unlikely, but also serves very little purpose, as is asking others to discuss the lives or mistakes they have seen others make, since such observations are completely out of context without a real understanding of the backgrounds or the lives involved. </p>
<p>Personally, I do not find much appeal in either participating or even just lurking on a forum consisting of a group of parents either sharing confessions on how badly they raised their own kids or sharing stories of how bad other parents raised their kids. Who am I to judge any other person than myself? And yet, like most parents on this forum, I am eager and open to advice in areas I am unfamiliar with or have questions about - and hope that I can sometimes give something back that might be of help to others. I have always felt there is much more value and benefit in learning from positive role models, or from seeing what HAS worked for others in similar situations, than from just hearing about others’ mistakes-do as I say not as I do (it is human nature, after all, to selectively dismiss or discount the situations or mistakes of others when they do NOT match up to how we WANT to view the world). </p>
<p>Also, when it comes to recognizing or changing ones “parenting style” there is so much more that is effected than just the college selection process. To focus only on the college selection process is to miss other perhaps more important psychological pieces of the puzzle. Even if any of the kinds of parents you are targeting would even come to this kind of forum, by the time they did, the real damage, if any, has already been done to their kids and will not be easily undone from a few words found on an internet forum. I would hope that those individuals who really need it, seek professional help rather than resort to advice given on the internet. But I just do not see that happening by going about it the way you do (just curious, have you received any responses from people who have come to “see the light”?) </p>
<p>I’m just very uncomfortable with your stated goals for posting, since most of your posts will not result in the kind of “support group” you claim you are trying to create (although I will admit that the one thread you had started earlier this spring for students to vent their feelings concerning rejection was arguably helpful - but not exactly unique to this forum either). I just do not feel that it is appropriate for you to use this forum to continuously play “savior” or “Dr. Freud” whichever it might be. Or to lecture others (even if you try to do it nicely). The end does not always justify the means…</p>
<p>Anyway, I hope that you understand how you are alienating a lot more people than you are helping by your methods. Perhaps you need to sit back and rethink your own personal goals and motives and how best to accomplish them?</p>
<p>Wow. I think you all are pretty bright to see through OBW!</p>
<p>I’m only going to say this once because I hate to bump up any thread started by OBunW. How about not replying to his constant prompts about parents & Ivies? How long do you think he would last without an audience?</p>
<p>I think OWB is a 17-year-old male. Just a hunch!!! 
I’m happy not to post on his threads anymore. (Especially since the one where he blamed parents for causing their kids’ anorexia and bulimia and emotional problems.) It was obvious he had no expertise, and not even a rudimentary understanding of the processes involved.</p>
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<p>Please send the invitation to
<a href=“Yahoo | Mail, Weather, Search, Politics, News, Finance, Sports & Videos”>Yahoo | Mail, Weather, Search, Politics, News, Finance, Sports & Videos;
<p>And, please do not hesitate to write the text on butcher paper, especially if the paper wraps a juicy bone. This helps greatly with my tutoring of my K-9 classes.</p>
<p>PS The link might not work much longer.</p>
<p>Beg to differ, xiggi. These <a href=“http://puppydogweb.com/gallery/cavalierkingcharlesspaniels/cavalierkingcharlesspaniel_007.htm[/url]”>http://puppydogweb.com/gallery/cavalierkingcharlesspaniels/cavalierkingcharlesspaniel_007.htm</a> are the dogs worthy of invitation to the CC "furr"ums</p>
<p>^^—^^</p>
<p>Yep, but are those named Xiggi? :)</p>
<p>No, xiggi- they’re just cute! :D</p>
<p>jym,
They are SOOOO cute! And I don’t even like dogs!</p>
<p>Thanks, menloparkmom!! They are great dogs!!</p>
<p>My Golden Retriever knows more than OSW about college admissions, because I bought him a stuffed toy from every school we visited! (only kidding) He would have loved to chew on the purple cow, though. Quakers are not nearly as tasty.</p>