Just to add more vodka to the martini… 
I believe several schools were more outwardly “warm and fuzzy” before COVID. Restrictions have cancelled many events and traditions that foster a greater sense of community. Each school has its unique traditions that bring students together. Only the current Seniors remember the many fun spring events/traditions at our school that engaged our community.
We found that students who can grow their passions at their school, find their friends and/or supportive groups. Be honest with yourself about your expectations as a parent and, likewise, encourage your student to honestly examine their expectations about boarding school.