<p>^very good story lol^</p>
<p>My son dated the same girl for two years in HS and the first year of college. I was not a big fan of hers. My (very wise) husband urged me to keep my my mouth shut, I tried and occasionally, okay frequently failed. Their were a lot of couples at his boarding school, I think all the proximity made it easy. He did break up with her last summer, he said he knew this wasn’t the girl he was going to marry so even though he still liked her fine it was wrong to keep dating when the end was inevitable. H and I married at 24 and 26 so maybe he thinks getting married youngish isn’t horrifying? He did say dating and getting to figure out what and who he wanted was something he was interested in, since Miranda Kerr was already taken…I have harped on dating etiquette and kindness since he was in 5th grade and had his first “girlfriend”.</p>
<p>D who is 18 has only had 2 very brief romances - one with a member of her group of close friends and the other was someone where she volunteered. Still friends with the first one and thankfully doesn’t see the other one - my radar was telling me that he was a very good looking ‘bad’ boy. :)</p>
<p>Now a freshman at college and when I ask her about boys she tells me that they are either ‘taken’, gay or not nice boys (read D-bags).</p>
<p>Her group of friends always have as many guys in it as there are females, but I think she would like there to be someone special.</p>
<h1>57 - I have one of those sisters, too. Her first two years of college she had a very serious boyfriend who was so emotionally draining that she dropped out of school for a semester and went to stay with me in Europe. My parents, who never at any other time I can remember interfered in our personal lives, encouraged her to end that relationship. When she was unmarried in her late 30’s, right before my father died, he told me one of his parenting regrets was saying anything about that boy, who later grew up to be gainfully employed, happily married and a decent father.</h1>
<p>During her 20s and early 30s she dated several men for stretches of several months or a year, but she always found some reason they weren’t quite good enough. The reasons always seemed rather trivial to the rest of the family. I made a point to introduce her to eligible male friends. Nothing worked out.</p>
<p>Heilbrun’s book, Writing a Woman’s Life, changed how I saw my sister’s life.<br>
If marriage and a family had been her priority, she could have had that.
Purposefully or not, she chose something different.</p>
<p>Anyone else thinking there needs to be a cc website where we can all do some matchmaking for our kids, instead of gpa and sat stats we can post their personal stats.</p>
<p>eyemamom, I like the idea but I’m not sure our kids would.</p>
<p>On your other question, this is from [Gene</a> Expression: Intercourse and Intelligence](<a href=“http://www.gnxp.com/blog/2007/04/intercourse-and-intelligence.php]Gene”>Gene Expression: Intercourse and Intelligence). This suggests that either the whole generation are “floozies” (except for math and biochemistry majors at elite schools) or norms have changed. </p>
<p>"By the age of 19, 80% of US males and 75% of women have lost their virginity, and 87% of college students have had sex. But this number appears to be much lower at elite (i.e. more intelligent) colleges. According to the article, only 56% of Princeton undergraduates have had intercourse. At Harvard 59% of the undergraduates are non-virgins, and at MIT, only a slight majority, 51%, have had intercourse. Further, only 65% of MIT graduate students have had sex.</p>
<p>The student surveys at MIT and Wellesley also compared virginity by academic major. The chart for Wellesley displayed below shows that 0% of studio art majors were virgins, but 72% of biology majors were virgins, and 83% of biochem and math majors were virgins! Similarly, at MIT 20% of ‘humanities’ majors were virgins, but 73% of biology majors. (Apparently those most likely to read Darwin are also the least Darwinian!)"</p>
<p>^^^Absolutely!!! We all spend so much time researching schools where they’ll be happy – let’s use all that energy to find their future spouse. </p>
<p>What should we call it – Matchmaker Confidential? Who wants to post the first “chance me” thread?</p>
<p>^^I only have one left to get partnered up (no late bloomers here) but have fears a matchmaking thread could go the way of another recent cafe thread :(</p>
<p>This kid is really really smart if that is an important criteria. :)</p>
<p>Also really really nice and so cute & charming that we can’t take him to a restaurant or coffee house or bookstore with female clerks without them ignoring us while they desperately try to engage his attention.</p>
<p>But he’s interested in the male clerks 
And he is oh so very particular.</p>
<p>ps - He tries to incorporate something “swishy” into his attire so as not to misrepresent himself to the female population. And to identify himself to those who might be appropriate romantic interests.</p>
<p>I have told both of our kids that I would LOVE for them to get married before I have to rent the room at the Assisted Living for their receptions. Either they are late bloomers or I was…or both.</p>
<p>I’m afraid of all the over-achievers on here. My ds1 would be juco material compared to some of y’all’s high-fliers. But he’s sweet and sincere and trust-worthy and cute and funny and has great parents!</p>
<p>eyemamom, I was thinking the same thing you were, but I agree with shawbridge that my S would kill me if I tried matching him up with someone’s D.</p>
<p>
This is an interesting point. How important is it for your DIL or SIL to have great parents? After your S or D get married, he or she needs to have some relationship with “the other family.”</p>
<p>
My S would “kill” me if he knew I did matchmaking for him on any site. As a helicopter parent (much less so after his high school) myself, I would love to do this for him (as he scored nothing in this area in college years and fared only a little bit better in high school – managed to get a prom date/girlfriend who “dumped” him (well…officially it is a mutual agreement, but I sense that it is the girl who pull the trigger or gave the “hint” first) not long after high school graduation, likely because a relation over a few hundread miles of distance is hard to maintain — the girl started by refusing to reply any of his emails over time) but I dare not to. (I just found out shellfell and I cross-posted the same thing at the same time.)</p>
<p>Have not had success in matchmaking anyone. I know others who have and admire them for it. I figure both kiddos will find the right one at the right time. Really don’t feel it’s my place to pick or them. Both are very nice, smart, good looking and have a good sense of humor. Neither they nor I am in a rush for them to “date.”</p>
<p>H didn’t date much until after he completed college. I dated & had a serious beau most of the time in my life from age 16 until married over a decade later (different guys every 3-4 years). The kids are more particular than I was but I have always found them to have excellent taste in people & most other things. H married later in life & it doesn’t appear to have impaired our marriage in the least.</p>
<p>I’ve told ds1 to pay close attention to the relationship between any girl he’s interested in and her parents. When I married dh, I defintely married his family. Truthfully, I wish I’d investigated that a little more before marrying. My family is less, uh, in each other’s business. But I’d be worried if ds was interested in a girl who didn’t have a relationship with her family. MAYBE her parents are nuts and she’s the healthy one and it’s better that a relationship is nonexistent, but I imagine that’s pretty rare. If she doesn’t have a good relationship with her family, that would be a big red flag for me. And, hopefully, for ds1, too.</p>
<p>So for Matchmaking Confidential, should there be safeties, matches, reaches and super-reaches?</p>
<p>I wish my parents were a little more concerned, and I wish they would’ve established actual dating rules when I was in high school. I remember my dad talking about it when I was like 7 but it never came up when it should’ve. We still do not discuss me not dating. I think if they would’ve discussed it with me in high school I may have had different thoughts on it. </p>
<p>I never did date in high school, but I had crushes. I would like to get married eventually. I always told myself to focus on academics, myself, and friends. I still have that same mentality because of seeing my sister’s decisions. She’s thought about dropping out of college like boyfriend (she’s only dated 2 people, and is back to the 1st boyfriend who our family dislikes) I am determined to finish college strong, and get into a DPT program. I figured there will always be time to date after I get my DPT degree, especially since I do not want to stay in my home state. If for some reason I decide to date someone I hope its someone in my major who can relate and may have similar goals. I do not want to be tied down when it comes time to apply for DPT programs.</p>
<p>My own history is a bit like Strawbridges, just not as tall, smart, or handsome. I didn’t have my first date until jr year of engineering school, but was very successful with women once I muscled up and learned to dress myself and approach women. The combination of late-blooming genetics (5’4" 105 lbs as a junior in HS), nerdy, and consumed with solitary pursuits (reading, fishing, bicycle racing, chess) explained my social isolation. My hs sr. son, however, is a mystery.</p>
<p>He is 6’1", smart, athletic, talented, and adequately good looking, yet never been on a date. He is friendly and outgoing. I figure when he feels it is his time it will be fairly easy for him.</p>
<p>He also has a somewhat uptight personality that inhibits overt displays of interest. The human mating ritual, strutting and posing by the males, preening and submissive displays by the females, requires a complete suspension of the rational mind, something that is difficult for the analytical kids most of us have. I love that “twitterpated” scene in Bambi. Some people get there when they are emotionally ready, some are helped along by alcohol, and some never seem to get there at all.</p>
<p>Effective flirting is built into our genetic code but subtleties are supposed to be learned in early adolescence. Girls mimic the expressions and mannerisms of the social queen bee. Boys imitate the alpha. Smart kids usually dislike the jock/cheerleader types and purposefully avoid being influenced by them, delaying the acquisition of those social skills. Luckily, it is a fairly simple skillset to learn at any time, at least adequately for participating in dating.</p>
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<p>^^Yes! And…hopefully, my son will not be rejected by his “safety” and will be accepted by his reaches (with merit!)</p>
<p>ooooooooooooo…with merit! Hmmmmmm…</p>
<p>Late bloomers are well out of college, not in it or HS when they start dating. Look at the parents- knowing my son’s he’ll be in his 30’s before meeting the “right” woman for him. Son has been with groups since HS days so he has been exposed to couples etc, but not any who would fit him. Harder when an atheist and not in church social life as a kid. I also notice among sibs’ kids et al that getting married happens after living together and closer to either side of 30 than just after college. I figure our son may not date until older like both H and I did. Need to have overlapping interests, similar intelligence and ideas about politics and religion.</p>