Asian Racism and charged w/ assult...

sickofitnow · April 12, 2007, 10:54pm

PS if you are an asian parent please give me some advice.

Ok, so a week ago I was at school, in the school bathroom. This fake surfer-chick wannabe came right up to me (I was looking at the wall mirror) and cut right in front of me. When I confronted her with this, she laughed at me and said, “stupid little asian girl.” I remember back in the fall I had walked past the same girl and she had her boyfriend or whowever it was with her, and he had called me a [profanity] chink. I was so tired of people at my school abusing asian kids and the administration not giving an thought about it (they think that racism only happens to blacks!) and so I got mad and pushed this loser girl. I was just so tired of people being able to step over asians at my school (since Asians are the smallest minority at my northern California high school–mostly white people) and the administration actually laughing over it. After I pushed her, she pushed me back. She she -slapped me and pushed me again. By that time, I was tired of people being able to step all over asians that I pushed her again. She tripped over her wedge heels and fell over a faucet fixture, getting brusies in the process. As a result the dean came over and started yelling at me, saying that I hurt an innocent little girl (she was like a 5’6 sophomore and I am a 5’4 senior). Her parents are pressing charges even though she wasn’t really injured.

I am so tired/upset since america doesn’t care about people like me, everyone thinks I’m a foreigner even though i am 3rd generation and my brother is at West Point. Not too long ago a white girl called a very short black girl a jungle monkey and the black girl pushed her and the administration did not get her in trouble since it was racially- Provoked.

Please don’t think that this was in my mind when it happened, as it wasn’t, but it just goes to show that I am being charged with assualt and I don’t want to mess up my life, I am a honors student and I just want to get the full scholarship they hand out at CSU long Beach cuase I have worked hard all my life.

I do not know why I am posting on this forum, I know that there are a few asian parents who might have known similar situations and can give me some advice. My parents, etc all blame it on ME. I am just f-ing tired of being seen as half a human by igorant bigosts. I have no hope for humanity at this point, nobody cares about others. What should I do? I searched around the web and all I found was the Denny’s incident and I think they all got away with it. sorry If I sound crazy but I am so mad at this world. This hasn’t been the first time it happened, just the first time I took action. I wish I were black so they wouldn’t dare shout degrading words and walk all over me.

PS I am long time CC user who has posted since 2004. I just don’t want people online identifying who I am.

Sleepy_Sentry · April 12, 2007, 11:48pm

That’s a shame. I agree that racism doesn’t just happen to black people. It happens to every race, including whites.

If you are really upset about racism at your school, contact a local news station or newspaper and tell them why you think it’s a problem. For better results, find other people at your school of any race facing the same problem.

You were in a no-win situation I’m afraid. If you’d stood down and not fought the girl, that would have been bad. But fighting the girl also got you into trouble (I think you made the right choice).

If you really want to get something going, PM me. I can show you how to use social networking sites to get lots of people interested in your story.

If you really think the other girls’ parents are thinking about pressing charges, go talk to an attorney ASAP. The sooner you get professional legal advice in these situations, the better.

Best of luck to you.

curryauralingers · April 13, 2007, 12:16am

I agree. You made the right choice. In the end nobody really cares about racism directed toward asians (maybe b/c asians in america have the lowest birth rates=smaller population=less voices?). The fact that 60 people saw this post and only one person commented on it is just more evidence that pp don’t care.

curryauralingers · April 13, 2007, 12:18am

You should move it into the cafe section. Or the high school life section. I don’t think this is something that parents will really care about.

padad · April 13, 2007, 12:24am

I echo SS’s sentiment that you are in a no-win situation. The bright side is that you won’t be there but just a few more months. At college you are unlikely to encounter this sort of bully-oriented behavior.

I also second the advice on an attorney. Contact American Civil Liberty Union (ACLU) to identify an attorney that has the expertise and will do it pro bono. I also advise you to talk to a psycologist to document your distress.

Best Wishes.

citygirlsmom · April 13, 2007, 12:56am

it is too bad you didn’t just scream at her and call her names, the problem is, though you were right in your anger, you went to the next level…though if I were you I would say she shoved you first when she cut in front of you

I would also make a stink about your school having such ignorant racist students and make the girls parents look bad

And parents do care…but you are older and should not have gotten phyiscal, not matter how scummy the little twit was

it sounds to me that your school has some serious racial tension and the better step up

I would go public, or threaten to…get your own lawyer asap and say you feared for your safety…you initial “push” was a reaction to her bumping you out of the way

I would also get some of the other “minority” kids to speak out about the racism they have encountered, power in numbers

berurah · April 13, 2007, 1:43am

sickofit~

I am really sorry that you have had to undergo this treatment at your high school. {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} You don’t deserve this, and clearly you have reached a breaking point with it.

Though my family is not Asian, I understand perfectly how you feel. We are the only Jewish family in a small Kansas town, and my children have undergone some pretty egregious antiSemitism at their high school. It has generally not been a problem until h.s., but then it seems that the worst conduct emerges.

Like you, my oldest son was an honor student with high aspirations. He rarely spoke of what he was undergoing at school, but it finally came up, and I was truly appalled. I did, though, sit down with him to have a LONG talk about the repercussions of fighting back under a zero-tolerance policy.

My son endured daily name-calling (dirty Jew, f**ing Jew, etc.) and was physically attacked twice in the commons area of the school. He made sure that he didn’t respond until after the first several blows at which point any action on his part could be seen as self-defense. Our school has a state of the art video surveillance system, and all of the “action” was caught on that. Since my son was attacked from behind while just sitting with his then-gf, the administration brought no action against my son and expelled the other kid, a 17-year-old freshman *sigh.

My son was a high profile student and as such, garnered more general abuse than my daughters have, though they’ve also had their share (nothing physical, though, thank G-d). My son realized that he would be out of there soon…and IS now, at a college 1250 miles away where his best friends are of all ethnicities, races, and cultures. He’s in seventh heaven there. :)

It was difficult on my son as he was a VERY athletic kid, buff and well-built, who could have cleaned anyone’s clock. But he simply wasn’t willing to risk his college future for it. I feel terrible for you that you are now stuck with this assault charge after having had to endure so much racism in a place where you should have been made to feel safe and comfortable.

Since you are very concerned about the repercussions for your college apps., I’d also suggest consulting an attorney and having him/her meet with the administration to discuss what options there may be. I know that after my son was attacked, I went to the principal and made it VERY clear that I would never again expect him to take blows before defending himself–and that I was warning him in advance, should any other threatened assaults happen. I wanted it on the record so that he would be well-protected in case anything came to physical force again.

Your justifiable anger is palpable in your post. If I were you, I’d seek out a competent and sympathetic counselor upon whom to unload some of this anger and resentment. You are more than entitled to feel this way, but you want to make sure that these things are channeled in positive way, rather than in a damaging and negative way. For my son, that meant committing himself to his academics and extracurricular activities in a way that would assure him acceptances (and merit money) at schools outside of Kansas. He turned the huge negative of the antiSemitism into a positive motivator for getting out of this state and attending college in a place where he felt more comfortable.

I would strongly urge you to NOT give up on all that you have done to assure a good college outcome by letting your anger over this get the better of you. Use it to effect positive change in whatever way you can. Most of all, make sure that there are no further blemishes to your school record and see what, if any, compromise can be worked out with the administration over the handling of this incident.

I truly wish you the best of luck, and I’ll be thinking about you.

~berurah

MonoTombo · April 13, 2007, 2:29am

The only way a charge of assault would damage you is by financial aid. If you’re below the age of 18, which you probably are, you could probably clear it when you are 18.

I really sympathize with you, life is unfair. Don’t worry about it too much. There probably is not anything you can do about it.

poetsheart · April 13, 2007, 3:11am

Sickofit, I completely understand your anger and frustration. You have every reason to feel the way you do. I’m sorry to hear that you have so little support from your parents. Someone should be down at that school advocating for you, and letting it be known that you will NOT be made to be the villain in this situation. I agree with Citygirlsmom that you should say that she pushed you first. Further, you should report that she and her boyfriend have a history of slinging racial slurs in your direction. Perhaps you could contact a reporter at the local newspaper and attempt to draw attention to the racial tensions at your school. Again, CGM’s suggestion that you band together with other minority kids who are being harassed, is an excellent one. Turn up the heat on the racists among your school’s population. Roaches tend to scatter when you turn on the lights.

mathmom · April 13, 2007, 10:11am

Not Asian, but my sister-in-law (who has a Japanese mother) has plenty of tales of racism. Not just in high school. I agree with others do something pro-active about the racism in your school. Make the administrators see that there is a problem.

Allmusic · April 13, 2007, 10:28am

So sorry you have had to endure this.

I’d recommend you see about setting up a “No Place for Hate” chapter in your school or community. Then, there will be a no tolerance stance for any sort of racial slur.

<a href=“You are being redirected...”>You are being redirected...;

ldmom06 · April 13, 2007, 10:30am

Here in Texas, who pushed first doesn’t matter. If this girl slapped and pushed you, you have the right to also file assault charges. A judge will be the one to sort out which actions were justifiable and which were not. Also, here, you would have the right to file a complaint for harrassment based racial discrimination with the school district.

I agree with being proactive on this. The other girls’ parents will likely go away if they realize their daughter will ALSO be held accountable for her part in this. And the school admin deserves the heat too…they are not taking care of business.

CCSurfer · April 13, 2007, 11:14am

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Please don’t assume that racism is acceptable to decent youth or adults, or that people will look the other way and expect you to do the same. To me, the problem with your school not taking active, visible steps in combatting racism on campus is not only that minority students are victimized, but the implicit message that adult authorities find racist victimization acceptable.

It sounds as if you are in the greater Los Angeles area. I want to suggest two organizations that might be able to help you both with your feelings and with taking action. First, to deal with the (justifiable) anger and pain you are feeling, consider contacting the Asian Pacific Counseling Centers. They have clinics all over the area and have professional staff who will be very senstive to what you’re going through. They’re at <a href=“http://www.apctc.org%5B/url%5D”>www.apctc.org</a>. Another organization that has a whole program set up to address racism in high schools is the Anti-Defamation League. I know that they have a program based in LA. The ADL’s programs grow out of the experience of Anti-Semitism berurah is talking about, but they have school-based programs geared toward addressing the full spectrum of race and religion-based racism.

I am hoping and praying that you will find adults who will be able to help and support you. No one should have to go through what you are experiencing.

CCSurfer · April 13, 2007, 11:20am

I forgot to post contact info for the Los Angeles Anti-Defamation League. They are at (310) 446-2000.

Also wanted to support the notion that you need to find an attorney who will support you as soon as possible. A place that might be able to help, or at least suggest an excellent referral, is the Asian Pacific Legal Defense organization in Southern California, which is at <a href=“http://www.apalc.org%5B/url%5D”>www.apalc.org</a>, and has a Chinese hotline at (800) 520-2356. I don’t know how they select their cases, but hopefully they will be able to refer you to someone very knowledgable.

Ya_Ya · April 13, 2007, 3:21pm

Check this web-site and talk to school officials and those people who want to file charges about your possible complaint (possibly supported by complaints of other Asians from the same school) to the organization below. If they don’t drop charges and don’t do anything about discrimination that took place at school file the complaint.

You have problems writing cleary what you actually want (the first post was a mess with too many emotions) so if you decide to complain find somebody who can help you with facts (parents, other Asians or even a lawyer)

<a href=“File a Complaint: Discrimination Form | U.S. Department of Education”>File a Complaint: Discrimination Form | U.S. Department of Education;

How to File a Discrimination Complaint with the Office for Civil Rights

Available in Other Languages

Office for Civil Rights
U.S. Department of Education
400 Maryland Avenue, S.W.
Washington, D.C. 20202-1100
(202) 245-6800; 1-800-421-3481
FAX: (202) 245-6840; TDD: (877) 521-2172
E-mail: <a href="mailto:OCR@ed.gov">OCR@ed.gov</a>
Web: <a href=“http://www.ed.gov/ocr[/url]”>http://www.ed.gov/ocr</a>

The Office for Civil Rights (OCR) enforces several federal civil rights laws that prohibit discrimination in programs or activities that receive federal financial assistance from the Department of Education (ED). Discrimination on the bases of race, color, and national origin is prohibited by Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964; sex discrimination is prohibited by Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972; discrimination on the basis of disability is prohibited by Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and Title II of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 (Title II prohibits discrimination on the basis of disability by public entities, whether or not they receive federal financial assistance); and age discrimination is prohibited by the Age Discrimination Act of 1975.

These civil rights laws enforced by OCR extend to all state education agencies, elementary and secondary school systems, colleges and universities, vocational schools, proprietary schools, state vocational rehabilitation agencies, libraries, and museums that receive federal financial assistance from ED. Programs or activities that receive ED funds must provide aids, benefits, or services in a nondiscriminatory manner. Such aids, benefits, or services may include, but are not limited to: admissions, recruitment, financial aid, academic programs, student treatment and services, counseling and guidance, discipline, classroom assignment, grading, vocational education, recreation, physical education, athletics, housing, and employment.

In addition, as of January 8, 2002, OCR enforces the Boy Scouts of America Equal Access Act , part of the No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 . Under the Boy Scouts of America Equal Access Act, no public elementary school, public secondary school, or state or local education agency that provides an opportunity for one or more outside youth or community groups to meet on school premises or in school facilities before or after school hours shall deny equal access or a fair opportunity to meet or discriminate against, any group officially affiliated with the Boy Scouts of America or any other youth group listed in Title 36 of the United States Code as a patriotic society.

WHAT TO DO

Anyone wishing to file a formal complaint with OCR should submit in writing the following information in a letter or on the Discrimination Complaint Form available from OCR enforcement offices (see listing):

Your name and address (a telephone number where you may be reached during business hours is helpful, but not required);

A general description of the person(s) or class of persons injured by the alleged discriminatory act(s) (names of the injured person(s) are not required);

The name and location of the institution that committed the alleged discriminatory act(s); and

A description of the alleged discriminatory act(s) in sufficient detail to enable OCR to understand what occurred, when it occurred, and the basis for the alleged discrimination (race, color, national origin, sex, disability, age, or the Boy Scouts of America Equal Access Act).

HOW TO FILE AN ONLINE COMPLAINT

OCR encourages students and parents, representatives of education institutions, and other OCR customers to use e-mail or fax to communicate with OCR, whenever possible. Also, complainants may file a complaint with OCR, online, at the following website: <a href=“http://www.ed.gov/ocr/complaintprocess.html[/url]”>http://www.ed.gov/ocr/complaintprocess.html</a>.

For those without current e-mail accounts, Internet access may be freely available from your local public library, and free e-mail accounts are available from several large providers.

A recipient may not retaliate against any person who has made a complaint, testified, assisted or participated in any manner in an investigation or proceeding under the laws listed above.

WHO CAN FILE

Anyone who believes that an educational institution that receives federal financial assistance has discriminated against someone on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, disability, or age, or who believes that a public elementary or secondary school, or state or local education agency has violated the Boy Scouts of America Equal Access Act, may file a complaint. The person or organization filing the complaint need not be a victim of the alleged discrimination, but may complain on behalf of another person or group.

TIMELINESS

A complaint must be filed within 180 calendar days of the date of the alleged discrimination, unless the time for filing is extended by OCR for good cause.

INSTITUTIONAL GRIEVANCE PROCEDURES

Prior to filing a complaint with OCR against an institution, a potential complainant may want to find out about the institution’s grievance process and use that process to have the complaint resolved. A complainant is not required by law to use the institutional grievance procedure before filing a complaint with OCR. If a complainant uses an institutional grievance process and also chooses to file the complaint with OCR, the complaint must be filed with OCR within 60 days after the last act of the institutional grievance process.

WHERE TO WRITE (see Note)

WESTERN DIVISION

California
Office for Civil Rights, San Francisco Office
U.S. Department of Education
50 Beale Street, Suite 7200
San Francisco, CA 94105
(415) 486-5555; FAX# (415) 486-557

k_amp_s · April 13, 2007, 7:39pm

sickofit -

Unfortunately, this type of race-based name-calling/bigotry is still all too common (with regard to Asians in particular - the whole “model minority” stereotype makes some people believe that Asians don’t face these types of problems/issues).

For instance, recently, a 14 yr. old Asian teen moved to a new school where he got called racist slurs, etc. - esp. by one particular bully who outweighed him by 45 lbs (we are talking about a 195 lb. 14 yr old).

The Asian kid had a tough time dealing with the bigger kid’s bullying that he finally called him out for a fight after school (where ALL the other kids were encouraging the bully to kick the Asian kid’s arse).

As it turned out - it wasn’t much of a fight (it was over in a minute or so) - the bully’s jaw was dislocated and he had 3 of his front teeth pushed a couple of inches into his mouth (there’s actually a video of this floating around the web).

While I certainly don’t condone fighting - as it turned out, the racist name-calling stopped and the Asian kid’s popularity at school soared (he also got a week’s suspension).

Another example that is a bit more positive - I knew a Asian guy who moved to a small town in Wisconsin. He, too, initially faced race-based taunting/name-calling. But somehow, when he became the star QB of the football team - all the name-calling stopped (he later also was voted Prom King at his school).

Yeah, you probably shouldn’t have let that idiot-girl’s words/actions affect you so much (there are a lot of dumb-ass people in the world; but there are a lot of good quality people, too) where out of frustration you pushed her - but I can totally understand why it happened.

As other posters have already noted -you should take steps to protect yourself legally. Since the girl doesn’t appear to have anything beyond some bruises, the bigger thing would be having assault charges filed against you rather than any potential monetary damages.

In addition, the other girl was the one who escalated things by slapping and pushing you again.

You definitely should contact the nos. that the other posters have listed - since the environment/administration at the school doesn’t seem to be particularly friendly/understanding.

fabrizio · April 13, 2007, 8:52pm

I agree with all the previous posts, especially padad’s advice on asking the ACLU to help you out.

sickofitnow · April 13, 2007, 9:23pm

Wow, I’m surprised at all the time parents took w/ advice. It really helped, I am going to file charges too and get myself a lawyer.

I know this may sound strange (and I know that violence is wrong, I’ve never done this before) but I think I didn’t have a choice and ultimatly made the right one. If I acted up and did take action, then people in my school might wake up and realize that not all asians will put up with this. Before, this was acutally a common occurence at my school, w/ regards to lunch and brunch lines, PE locker rooms, etc. If people get away with one thing then they will do it again. This is the high school mentality. I am on spring break right now So i will do whatever I can to sort it out. Also, a few people saw us fighting and I’m not sure if the judge will ask them to testify(?) I have a strong feeling that her parents will drop the charges if I file charges too.

thank you guys so much.

meredithv · April 13, 2007, 9:46pm

You go, girl!

What wonderful and helpful advice many of the above posters have offered.
It’s at times like this that I really, really appreciate (albeit for others) places like this.

Keep us in the loop, sickofitnow; and many hugs to you.

Mizo · April 13, 2007, 11:57pm

I would go to your local NAACP chapter and have them investigate the situation at your school, this organization helps all people of color not just African Americans or you may wish to try your city or state Civil Rights Commission, just call and get advise from both organizations. You should not tolerate this behavior any longer put it in the hands of those who experienced in dealing with these matters.

Asian Racism and charged w/ assult...

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