<p>“Seriously; we care a little bit, but we don’t care that much.”
haha, kara, i second that.</p>
<p>not a fan of lines 3 or 4. not personally into 1 or 2, either…</p>
<p>^the rest is good though, right?</p>
<p>This is like every other poem written in Creative Writing I–no frame of reference, and a bunch of dramatic verbs. I think the issue is that you’re trying to make a universally applicable point, but you’ll find that the most effective way of doing that isn’t by being unspecific; it’s by being incredibly specific in describing the emotions and details of a moment, and by describing that moment, you manage to say something universal about all happy/sad/overwhelming moments.</p>
<p>…I just noticed this thread was ancient. Nevermind.</p>