I guess it may also be dependent upon setting or context, but I get annoyed by my H referring to colleagues as girl, when relaying an annectdote ie “a girl in audit who really knows her stuff, unsnarled a tough problem” even when said colleague is several (?many) years removed from college.
My MIL this past weekend was relaying a story about "a girl (BIL-in his 50’s) is dating. I said “a girl?” “How old is she?” “Probably 40’s” when I said I no longer would classify her a girl, as I wouldn’t consider my BIL or H a boy, I was put off by their response.
Am I in the minority? I think it’s demeaning.
It depends. I like being called a girl by someone much older than I am. For example, when a group of my friends met one of the friends’ mother, she called us all a nice group of girls. But then she was 83.
If the speaker was someone my own age, I would feel the same way you do.
I’m in my mid-20s and I despise being called a “girl.”
In general, I really think by mid-way through high school (say, around 17) young women should be called just that- young women.
And yes, I do think it’s demeaning. It’s infantilizing and, IMO, shows at least a subconscious feeling that women are inferior.
OTOH, I wouldn’t be offended if someone referred to their (grown adult) child(ren) as “my girl(s).” But outside of family? No.
I think it depends on the context. I still sometimes call my D (a sophomore in college) “baby girl” as a term of endearment. I’m also inclined to say “I’m going out with the girls.” But in a professional setting, and certain social settings, I refer to females, regardless of age, as “women” or occasionally “ladies.”
Wouldn’t girls become women at the same age that boys become men?
At 18. You can call your daughter or your otherwise loved one “girl” if that’s your family thing, but in general relations, particularly professional ones, just no.
Few things drive me more crazy than grown women being referred to as “girls” . . . unless it is in a close family or friend context (i.e., “we’re going out for a girls’ night”). Otherwise, no.
We had a Panhel advisor at my university who would fine us if we referred to our rushees as “girls.”
I agree with you, OP. I doubt that someone would say, “The boy in audit really knows his stuff.”
Which is…? I notice “boys” become “young men” in high school.
I don’t take offense unless it is clear someone is trying to be condescending. I tend not to be sensitive to these things.
For me it’s not age; it’s always context & intent. If my colleague talks about going out for a drink with the boys, then girl is fine.
There’s a british guy in my office, my peer, who addresses all the guys as Mr.____ . But I notice he doesn’t address females w the same formality.
In the usage of “guys & girls” (it does alliterate nicely) I’ve come to use “guys & gals”. I do notice increasing usage of “females” instead of “girls”.
I agree with her comments above - it is context and intent. I consider myself a bit of a feminist but this typically doesn’t bother me much in most contexts.
OP’s husband would say “the guy in accounting” so girl is more like gal many people don’t use. . In this context I would equate girl to guy not girl to boy.
I’ve gone with saying boys and girls high school soccer teams, and men’s and women’s college soccer teams as one dividing line.
“Woman” is such an off-putting word. Doesn’t roll off the tongue and not casual & neutral like guy.
Shorthands for females are often burdened w connotations: chick, lady, etc…
I don’t really care. Sometimes I say the words guys or girls.
I don’t find it insulting any more, probably because I’m not a girl any more. I think “girl” is the casual equivalent of “guy” which people use much more than “men.” “Gal” is probably the true equivalent, but it’s not used much where I live. But I kind of like it, and sneak it in to my conversations every once in a while. “Young woman” sounds really condescending to me, almost as bad as “young lady.” Why is her age of any importance? I don’t think it’s the same thing at all as calling a grown black man “boy”, which is clearly meant as an insult.
In theory, yes. In practice, male humans who are at the upper end of the “boy” age range or the lower end of the “man” age range are very often referred to as “guys,” a term that has no female equivalent.
I was just discussing this with my husband the other day when a public official was on TV talking about the transgender bathroom controversy . He called the men’s bathroom " The Men’s Bathroom" , but referred to the women’s bathroom as “The Girl’s Room” . It really rubbed me wrong , and even my teenage sons noticed and thought it was inappropriate .
Yes, @carolinamom2boys, but why do we call it the Ladies’ Room but we don’t call the male equivalent the Gentlemen’s Room?
I don’t know @Marian . I always call it the Men’s room and Women’s room. I think what irritated me was more the tone in which he said it.