Proponents of the bathroom bill almost overwhelmingly refer to “men” in the “girl’s bathroom.” IMO, it’s much more telling of what they think of “women” and “girls” than the bills themselves.
I rarely refer to someone I’ve interacted with as a man, in speaking. It’s almost always “This guy said…” I don’t automatically gravitate to “girl” though. I’ll say “The woman on the phone was a real…” 
Exactly @romanigypsyeyes . Like we need to be protected or something .
I agree most people would not say “the boy in audit”
… but I bet a bunch of people would say “the guy in audit”
and “girl” seems to be the female equivalent of “guy”
or… boy / man / guy --> girl / woman / ??? (girl?)
I do agree that it sounds wrong sometimes, but I wouldn’t automatically assume someone that said it was being condescending.
I could not hear ‘girl’ as the equivalent of ‘guy,’ because little boys are not called guys, but little girls are called, well, girls. (Young men gathered together are often called guys. Young men being no longer little boys.)
So for me, guys is the graduated form of boys, and may be interchanged with men without offense or slight. But girls have still not graduated.
My mother and I walked into a vintage shop in an affluent NJ town about 10 years ago, and the shopkeeper, a little junior to my mother in years by all appearances, looked up from what she was doing, paused a moment and then asked, “How are you girls doing?”
That really made me angry. My mother was about 70 years old, deep brown skin with a small afro, and I knew she had come from a lifetime of that in the south.
I had taken her in to purchase something special that I’d seen which I thought she might cherish, but I couldn’t after that reception. After we left the shop I explained to my mother why I wouldn’t purchase the item, and she said she understood. She’d wondered at the choice of words herself.
I tend to use girls when talking about my friends - going out with the girls, or the girls in the office went to lunch, the girls in my bookgroup. . I never would use “gal” and don’t say “going out with the women”. I agree with the comment that girl may be more equivalent to guy, even though it is also used for young females. I would almost always say the guys when talking about the men in my office and the guys or the boys when referring to the men in our friend group. Men’s room and Ladies Room (not Guys room or Women’s room).
I also have a hard time using his/her all the time to avoid using his in contexts where gender is not specified, but try to do so. This is not a big issue for me. I don’t see the use of girl in most contexts as being insulting or demeaning. But maybe we need to work on a new word!
I somehow got into the habit of calling it the “little girls room” and it has stuck. Oh well. Asking for the ladies room sounds stodgy.
I can say my wife, in her mid-50’s, thinks nothing of using girl for any female, or of being called girl. (She is white). My mom, at early 80’s is flattered by it. We alI see the ancestry part, and could be an insult however from that perspective. As far as seeing it only from the age thing, though, my wife and mom think it is a matter of confidence not legal age. My wife feels there are SO many problems in the world, and SO many problems in our nation far greater than if she’s called “girl”. Hypocricy of Paypal in N.C. is an example she gives.
And boy(I’m white) means nothing to me. “Good old boys” and “boys in the back room” are long-time expressions, and neither refers to a 10 yr old. If we host a party and play a board game, we often separate competitors as boys against the girls though everybody is over 40.
We have biracial nieces, though. The oldest is 14 so that’s a girl by anybody’s definition. But what about when she turns 18? 21? 30? Will wife and I have to speak to them differently than they have heard us speak abouteverybody else we have spoken to for years because of part of their heritage? Or is it better NOT to treat them differently than anyone else? Tough question.
I think that for many, a part of it is the “we can call us that” mentality. “Girl” comes to mind that a female can call others girl, but males can’t, same as words for Jewish people and people with African ancestry- there are words they feel they can say but that it is wrong for others outside their group to use the same word.
I refer to my friends all the time as “girls” as in " I’m meeting the girls for lunch today." I dont t get offended if someone refers to me as a girl either - unless it was a boss ( which I don’t have since I don’t work.) H will also ask me if I’m meeting up with the girls today but he certainly never refers to the women who work for him that way - he used “women” when talking to me about someone in his office. It’s all about context, IMO.
My best friend of 20+ years calls our little group her girls. “I’m having lunch with my girls.” Which I’m fine with. There is a partner in my firm who still uses the “have your girl call my girl” expression, which makes me nuts.
As a GenX’er I tend to use ‘dude’ for both men and women 
Actually, I had always heard ‘gal’ had racist origins and have so avoided as the female counterpart to ‘guy’.
To me, whether or not ‘girl’ is offensive/annoying is largely context-dependent. If it’s used in contrast to ‘men’, or in a way that conveys condescension or minimizing, it can grate - but said with obvious affection by other women (‘girls night out’) it’s fine with me.
I’m Gen-X, and this is the first time I’ve ever heard “gal” having racist connotations.
I didn’t know that “gal” was racist. What is the context?
I always thought it was condescending and obnoxious, but I didn’t know about the racial implications.
I work with several African-American women and get called “girl” all the time. Never gave it a second thought.
Growing up in NYC in the 70’s & 80’s , I heard ‘gal’ was a term slave owners used for female slaves and was considered offensive. I can’t say that I’ve particularly researched it, but that’s what I remember.
The underlying issue is the extent to which the word “girl” is inextricably linked with a sense about women that is diminutive compared to how men are viewed. Those who use the term tend to argue that use of the term has nothing to do with viewing women as less authoritative, professional, etc. And many now argue that these are not issues any more for women anyway. Any of you who think that “feminism” (and the associated gender issues) is passé are wrong. So avoiding the term girls as a reminder of that seems worthwhile.
I grew up in NYC in the 1970s and 80s and never heard that. I’m going to look into it.
It’s very common to be called girl by black women in your own social group or family (my social group and family are mixed), but it’s usually a term used for emphasis, rather than disrespect.
“Girrrrrrrrllllll wait till I tell you _____.”
Since actual girls are rarely found in professional settings, I don’t think it’s ever appropriate in that context.
Socially or personally, it depends on the context, intent and perception.
“Wouldn’t girls become women at the same age that boys become men?”
In theory it is easy. In high school sports they say Boy’s and Girl’s. In college sports they say Men’s and Women’s. If you are a Dad with daughters it seems to make sense to change to women when the turn 18, but to me it just sounded a little creepy for a Dad to suddenly be calling my daughter’s 17-19 year old friends “women,” so I started calling them “young ladies” or “ladies” which seems more comfortable to me. In my mind it respectfully acknowledges their adulthood, without the creep factor of suddenly seeing them as “women.” I continue to call her male 18 year old friends “guys.”