Really lost? I am a feminist and work in a very male-dominated field. There are many issues impacting women on work-life balance, pay equity, “glass ceiling” and the images of women in music, film and TV that concern me but referring to other females endearingly as “girls” is just not something that bothers me.
Now the “b” word which is used way too often in my view, is very bothersome.
I think it’s all about the context. My friends and I (40’s and 50’s) talk about when we’re doing the “girls’ weekend”.
I have a Wonder Woman t-shirt that says “This Girl Plays Rough” (I wear it when I’m playing tennis).
If it’s a group of women that I’m addressing I’ll say “hey ladies”.
I use the “ladies room”
“Women” or “woman” I’ll typically use in a political context. Like “I’m playing the Woman Card today”.
When my husband says something about women that irks me I’ll say “you live with three women, be careful what you say.”
“Dude” I use as well, but it’s non-gender specific, despite being gender-specific, lol.
Like 'duuude, that was an amazing shot!"
I had the reverse- and used the term “males”. Lived with 4 males (even the dog was male).
@younghoss :
“And boy(I’m white) means nothing to me. “Good old boys” and “boys in the back room” are long-time expressions…”
I hear that you are owning your affinity with your nieces, beyond it being simply an issue of genealogy. That seems a no-brainer and not worthy of comment or commendation in most cases, but I will say that’s great. Still…
It is quite possible that one day your nieces will let you know how threatening and offensive the use of “Good old boys” is.
We nurture family relationships the same way we enter and nurther others, bringing who we are and learning how to give to the other what they need from us in order to cultivate the relationship.
I imagine you will be asked to reconsider your use of that term in their presence.
first let’s be clear I never said if I used that phrase or not, only that I think it is commonly used. Second, she learned a lot about “sticks and stones…” and would not find that phrase “threatening”. She is learning to separate distasteful from threatening.
I don’t think it is merely a distasteful term, nor do I speak here in the language of the new social movement of …(what do we call it here at CC when the college students have trigger words?)
It bespeaks and evokes the language and systems of a time when those who did brandish the term as self-identifier had near free-reign, or at least impunity, to harm, harrass, and hurt Blacks.
Whether you use it or not, know that you may encounter a time when your comfort with it being used may be called into question.
(Sticks and stones are not the particular implements evoked by the phrase, btw.)
I seldom use the term “girls” for any adult female(18 and over). Most women I’ve known tend to regard being referred to as “girl” as patronizing. Especially if it comes from a male or in some cases…parents/older relatives.
Incidentally, I have an older friend who is radical progressive left in nearly every respect, but can’t shake the habit of referring to all females…including those well over 18 as “girls”.
Been trying to help him break out of that habit to no avail as it played a part in the negative social fallout he’s been dealing with for the last several years. Especially considering the social/political groups he hangs with/tries to join tend to be very adamant about the term being extremely patronizing if applied to a female who is no longer a minor.
Then I assume they won’t be offended if the women they work with address them as “boys.”
Waiting not sure I am following which term you are referring to? #43? Boy or girl or gal? Or all?
The only time I like hearing the phrase “good old boys” is when the theme song to the Dukes of Hazzard comes on.
Not that I watch that show. Or know the theme song.
““Woman” is such an off-putting word. Doesn’t roll off the tongue and not casual & neutral like guy.”
Agree. In some cultures, “woman” has a certain meaning, as my global nomadic kid learned. It can be considered disrespectful to call a young woman “woman”… 
On the mammogram thread, it cracks me up that the OP refers to “the girls”
Girls and boys are children. Adults are women and men. Referring to adult females as girls is demeaning since common practice not refer to men as boys.
About two years ago I needed to see a solo practice specialist (kidney stone follow up). I’m a retired white female physician. I may have been a patient but am other physicians’ peer. The male physician told me to take the paperwork to the" girls" up front. I therefore addressed him pleasantly as “boy”. He got the hint about referring to his office staff as women. It wasn’t until I was in my car the connotation of calling a black man “boy”… Some months later he called his staff women, btw. The racial use of boy never entered my brain while I am sensitive to the usage of child terminology for adult women. If/when women get the same respect men do and the term isn’t demeaning (even thoughtlessly) I won’t care. Not likely in my lifetime, sigh.
@mom2and: “Good old boys”
@BunsenBurner : "…It can be considered disrespectful to call a young woman “woman”… "
I was going to ask you to explain when I realized you were truly saying that one who is addressed simply as ‘woman,’ and not by her first name, may take offense. (Now that I think about it, that is true in the States as well, though I don’t believe it is ever spoken that way except in jest.)
Your comment reminds me of a Hugh Masekela lyric(well, he sang it, Fela Kuti wrote it),
If you call her ‘woman’
African woman no gon’ ‘gree,
She gon’ say,
She gon’ say I Be Lady
(If you call her ‘woman’
African woman is not going to agree
She’s going to say,
She’s going to say, I’m a Lady)
One of my sisters has four boys aged 16 to 22. I always refer to them as “the boys” and will probably still be doing it when they are over 50 (God willing). I just asked the 22 year old this weekend, “Where are the other boys?” and he didn’t seem to take offense that I was calling him a boy despite his being a grown man.
As everyone has said, it really depends on context. I’d never be upset if my aunt referred to me and my sisters as “the girls” or “the kids”. I have a couple of friends/mentors that are significantly older than I am; one of them almost exclusively refers to me as kiddo. I’m only 3 years older than his oldest, so I begrudgingly accept it as a term of endearment 
it’s obvious when it’s meant to be condescending.
I believe this thread is a result of the radical feminist movement. Even the most trivial things are turned into serious issues. I don’t care if your in your 20’s or 30’s if you get offended with the use of the term “girl” there is something wrong with you psychologically!
Guys & girls, no problem.
Men & girls, problem.
Guys & Girls, no problem
Men & girls, absolutely no problem at all! 