<p>At the risk of being labeled a helicopter parent, I have done it - not about marriage specifically, but I knew that is where it could have been heading. Funny, my D can see problems with other people’s relationships, but doesn’t see it in her own. But I guess that is common. She was with a guy over 4 1/2 years. Nice enough guy, but had trouble finding what he wanted to do in life. Whined and complained a bit too much rather than working hard to find his niche. But when I watched her on the phone several different times with him crying and apologizing over things that were NOT her fault, I had to point out what was happening. Found out he also would be critical of how she dressed, make up she used (or didn’t use), her weight (she is model thin, he preferred a little fuller). All serious red flags. I was as gentle as I could be and still get the point across to her. I told her that when the relationship is right, it is not as hard as they were making it. When it is right, the two people respect each other and don’t try to hurt the other.</p>
<p>They did finally break up 3 years ago. They have maintained some contact (although I think it recently ended for good). She now sees he is in the same pattern I had pointed out to her. She agrees I was right and knows that I am only looking out for her, and that I have a lot more years of experience in this world than she does.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Thanks for posting this! I argued with myself constantly whether to say something or not, but ultimately I believed I would feel worse if I hadn’t at least pointed out my observations that she could accept or reject. She is a very bright woman and I knew she would think about what I said.</p>