<p>Some background info: I was raised in an atheist family and never went to church. I’m now 19 y.o. I would consider myself an agnostic, but even then religion has never been a big part of my life. </p>
<p>For some reason I feel like I want to start attending church. I’ve met a lot of people who go to church, who are positive and optimistic people and have such a big impact on their community-- people who I want to be more like, and I realize I do share a lot of the values and beliefs of people who go to church. Does that make sense? Is that a good reason to start experimenting going to church? I know it is possible to practice self-improvement, but I would love being among people who share the same principles I do. On the other hand, I do find some things I don’t know where to stand. For example, I love science. I don’t know how to approach the God vs. evolution/ big bang theory. I am quite socially liberal as well…but does that even play a factor? I believe church teaches its people to be accepting of differences, is that correct?</p>
<p>I guess what I’m trying to say is that I would like to ask for help on how to start going to church/ some direction on where to go in life. lol</p>
<p>^ Second that. The UU church is open to all faiths. My aunt, uncle, and cousins are all very involved in their UU church despite two being atheists, one agnostic, and one theist. I’ve been an atheist for almost half of my life and will occasionally go with them to the UU church and I’ve always loved it.</p>
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<p>Some do, some don’t. I’ve been to fantastic churches and terrible churches. I’ve been to churches where everyone is welcomed with open arms and then I’ve been to a church where the priest essentially advocated bullying those who are different. There is no way to generalize, you just have to find the “right” one.</p>
<p>As a United Methodist minister, I also suggest starting with a Unitarian Universalist congregation. They are very accepting of all faiths. Also, if you are interested in learning more about Christianity, you might try to find an Alpha class in your area. Alpha is offered by many mainline denominations and is an “intro” to Christianity class. But my advice - go slow, ask questions, meet people, join a small group. Faith is a very personal thing. Don’t let anyone tell you what you have to “believe.”</p>
<p>Why not try going with them? You’d be able to tell before long if the church they attend fits you or not, but if so, you’ve got an instant social group that sounds terrific. If they don’t all go to the same place, you can try a few and see where your best fit is.</p>
<p>I went to many different churches when I was young (all with friends who attended them). The education about the different places that I gained from attending was great - even if it wasn’t a good fit. I have a much better understanding that has been lasting.</p>
<p>Many people enjoy belonging to a church even if they don’t believe in the conventional sense. Churches offer many different things. The social group is one very important aspect of belonging to a church.</p>
<p>I was raised by religious parents but have never believed in God so starting in high school stopped attending church. While I have never doubted me decision about my beliefs I often miss the positive parts of the church community … it was a very safe and welcoming place for me.</p>
<p>I also recommend you check out a Unitarian church … my understanding is that the focus is on community much more than than on religion itself.</p>
<p>PS - a Quaker meeting might also be of interest</p>
<p>I know all kinds of scientists and doctors who are believers. I’d also be shocked if 100% of any congregation was 100% lined up with church doctrine. Remember, there are “human” made rules in churches, and bible based beliefs. When people start quoting scripture, one line can really be taken out of context. As you learn you see you need to understand what came before and after it, the time with which it was written, etc.</p>
<p>You’re probably looking less at a structured religion and more towards a fellowship or seekers kind of church. A lot of churches do Wednesday night studies, some for new members, which may be worth going.</p>
<p>If you look at a church’s website that interests you, take a look at their statement of faith.</p>
<p>Since you are 19 and on a college campus, you could try the non-demoninational services on your campus. You may also enjoy some of the faith-based student organizations on your college campus…typically a weeknight meeting with a speaker and a social activity, might be a gentle way to start thinking about these questions.
Do not worry that you have to have a certain set of political beliefs or a sure sense at this point of what you believe. You have a lifetime to explore, question and try out different faith communities to see what resonates for you.</p>
Best way I ever heard that dilemma discussed: “Science asks how things happen; Religion asks why.” Both truths can coexist. You can explore them both simultaneously.</p>
<p>If you mean you are liberal in your personal life, seek out churches that have liberal stances on social justice, LGBTQ and other matters that concern you. This may, or may not be the same churches where your friends attend. Go shopping, read the websites on official policies of each church movement. </p>
<p>I think from your friends you’ve recognized that the impact of church can be positive, but don’t assume their churches will align with your point of view. Find your church – it may, or may not, be their church. Shop around.</p>
<p>There are plenty of churches that believe in science. If you like a more traditional service, you’d be perfectly at home with the Episcopalians. Unitarian services vary a lot, some are too New Agey for me. We attend Ethical Culture whose motto is “Deed above Creed.” We don’t take a position on the deity at all. I like it, but it’s a little too left brained for me sometimes. I think reading the websites for the main religions is a good idea, but so much depends on the local congregations both who’s leading and who’s attending. My brother and his wife started off attending a Congregational Church in their town, but left because the singing wasn’t good enough!</p>
<p>You and the Unitarian Universalists may be made for each other. I’ve had a life long association with Unitarians, though have never joined a congregation. Totally agree on the sense of community found in church and the positive impact on individual lives. The name is from the 1961 melding of the previously separate denominations of Unitarians and Universalists. </p>
<p>They are socially liberal, as you are, and while many of the congregants are “in recovery” from more main line religions, and interested in discussion of social issues and ethics, it is a home for people of varying degrees of religious beliefs. My local congregation has a minister with a strong Buddhist bent. UUs tend to be well educated, and there is a strong focus in the religious education on learning about and respecting the beliefs of others, while perhaps being a little fuzzier about personal conviction and practice. Regardless, it gives the form of church, hymns, choir, good works, discussion groups. </p>
<p>Quakerism is also worth a look, for the sense of moral conviction, commitment to peace and social justice, and discussion of the issues of the day, and emphasis on consensus. The format, of silent meeting, is one some are more or less comfortable with. Quakers, or Friends (from Religious Society of Friends, the proper name) are not much for flashy personal displays, but very much interested in the inner process of spirit, and moral commitment to right action. </p>
<p>I am a UU and I think you would probably like it a lot.</p>
<p>Unitarian Universalism is a non-creedal religion. There are a set of shared principles, but there is no stated “creed” and no requirement that you follow a specific set of teachings. Instead, we are encouraged to search for our own beliefs.</p>
<p>I was raised a Catholic, and H was raised in Christian Science. At one point we decided that we wanted to structure an ethical/moral/spiritual dimension into our lives, so we decided to start visiting churches. (The only ones we excluded were those we were raised in. ) When we visited the UU church, I was stunned. I realized that I had been a Unitarian all my life, without ever knowing it was out there.</p>
<p>I’m a church-goer myself, but if you really don’t believe in God, you have a couple of options. I am not listing these to dissuade you from searching for a religion which worships God; I think it would be great if you explored faith. I’m only listing these so you’ll know there are other options.</p>
<p>Lol… yet another vote for the Unitarian Universalists here. If there is more than one UU church in your area, you can try each of them out. Sometimes there is a little different slant between them, or you just might feel more at home at one than another. We joined the UU church about 6 years ago, and my D1 has found a UU church in the city she lives in post-college. UUs are very welcoming of anyone of any belief system as long as they are respectful of other people’s beliefs as well. Our church has a lot of interfaith couples who were looking for a place that would respect both of their perspectives, as well as agnostics and atheists (our pastor is an atheist, and will freely say so from the pulpit if it fits in with the topic she is speaking on). </p>
<p>We do all the things typical congregations do – gather weekly for a sermon and readings, have a children’s program and youth groups, have committees and clubs that keep the church going, sing (our choir is fantastic), provide support for members who are ill or grieving, have coffee and snacks after the service, and have service opportunities (one thing our church does is host homeless families for a couple of weeks a year at the church overnight in rotation with other churches, for example. Or we might send teams to an area that has had a natural disaster to help with rebuilding.) To me the biggest difference from the traditional church is the content of the readings and sermon – it is always thought provoking and interesting, and very much focused on getting us to be more introspective about how we behave towards others and ourselves. I always feel like my mind is opened up a little and I am mulling something I hadn’t really thought about before after every service. Our pastor draws on many different sources and sometimes other faiths for ideas and for content. We talk about beauty, kindness, respect, service, forgiveness, family, stars, and a zillion other things. We just don’t insist that everyone worship a (or any) deity.</p>
<p>Consolation has it exactly right, a lot of people say this:</p>
<p>Whatever you try, you may want to give it more than one or two weeks though before making up your mind for or against. I’m a believing member of a mainstream Protestant church, and I can tell you from experience that all churches have an inherent flaw: they’re all full of people! Good luck.</p>
<p>I don’t know where you live, but there are probably a number of liberal Christian churches wherever you are. I could drive two hours from my home (in North Carolina) and get to 60-70 churches that state that they are “welcoming and affirming” (which usually includes performing same-sex marriage ceremonies – not recognized by the state yet, but within 10-15 years they probably will be). These include Baptist (yes, there are plenty of liberal Baptists!), Methodist, United Church of Christ, Presbyterian, and Episcopal churches. As far as science, most members of mainstream Christian churches are not anti-evolution.</p>
<p>The Internet is a great source. Almost all churches have a website and often they will include their faith statement, ministries and missions, information about their services, etc. Since you say you are socially liberal, I would probably look for “welcoming and affirming” churches to visit because those are usually quite socially liberal. Try [List</a> Churches by U.S. State / Canadian Province | gaychurch.orggaychurch.org](<a href=“http://www.gaychurch.org/list-churches-by-state/]List”>http://www.gaychurch.org/list-churches-by-state/) These churches are welcoming to all, despite the “gaychurch” in their URL. </p>
<p>Best wishes to you! I hope you find a place where you feel comfortable and are surrounded by good, supportive people.</p>
<p>thanks for the responses! they were really helpful I had another question about actually attending… do you only go to church Sunday mornings (or that’s just when the services are)? can you just drop in and speak with someone to get a hand on how to proceed/ on etiquette? would you bring a bible with you when you go? What about dress? about a year ago, I visited another country and went inside a church (more for a tourist experience than actually exploring faith) and was so embarrassed when I was told that what I was wearing (shorts) was not allowed. sorry for all the questions! I am really clueless about this process and don’t want to make a faux pas.</p>
) When we visited the UU church, I was stunned. I realized that I had been a Unitarian all my life, without ever knowing it was out there.</p>