<p>Yes, I know exactly what you mean @bevhills. Here we are, worrying about the most trivial things for our kids, as if they are a really big deal, and there are so many people out there dealing with truly serious issues for their kids. Of course, some of us on cc do have those same serious problems, but from reading many of the threads, you would almost think people on here don’t have any. Oh no, my kid might not get into their dream school! He only got a 2300 on the SAT, should he take it again, disaster! On one hand, it seems silly, with all the other true issues to worry about. On the other hand, I think our brains just need to have material to worry about, and if there isn’t anything major, we make mountains out of molehills.</p>
<p>Every day I think about how lucky my family is, and I try to stop worrying about the silly stuff. And then I worry that our luck won’t last (because it never does), and start visualizing the bad stuff, just so I’m ready for it. It’s ridiculous. When things are going good, we should just relax and enjoy it. And here you are, with a wedding coming up. I cannot wait for when that happens in my family. You ARE truly fortunate.</p>
<p>the other hand, I think our brains just need to have material to worry about, and if there isn’t anything major, we make mountains out of molehills.</p>
<p>Someone just posted about this elsewhere, how we distract ourselves with trivia, so we don’t need to think about what we really could accomplish.</p>
<p>Life is very short.
If I take the age when my parents each died, and divide by two, I have just over 3 years left to get there.
I’m very conscious of that.</p>
<p>If anyone thinks that I am smug…I am not. I truly apologize to anyone who thinks that I am. We have dear friends who’s kid got everything he wanted or needed…private schools, ski vacations with everything, until one day the world exploded and he wasn’t well. And yes, we have known more than one child who has been escorted to Utah. </p>
<p>There are no formulas for parents to follow. My mother, secular, said to a friend who was praying for a good outcome, “You can pray for what you want…but sometimes the answer is no.” </p>
<p>Learn something everyday - I had no idea what the reference to Utah was. And I’m grateful for that. Your post didn’t seem smug at all - just a reminder for all of us to be thankful for our present circumstances no matter what they are. </p>
<p>Congrats on the upcoming nuptials, BevHills! </p>
<p>HONY is a great site, EK! I have it on my Facebook feed and it never ceases to make me smile and to make me appreciate humanity in all its human-ness. </p>
<p>… and not to get too preachy about the prayer thing, but I always thought that intercessory prayer was not so much to convince God to do something for us/our loved ones, but rather to help us move closer to God. From David Wolpe:</p>
<p>I don’t know if anyone wants to be a part of the world of real life problems, but they are often visited upon us … even those of us who attended grad school, own their own homes, and never missed a parent teacher conference or a well baby checkup.</p>
<p>Congratulations on the upcoming wedding, bevhills! It sounds wonderful.</p>
<p>I have to admit that the original post rubbed me the wrong way, for some reason. My first reaction was, What do you mean WE? “We” on CC don’t have the problems that your friends in real life have? Actually, yes, many of us do have these problems. And people who post as if no one here has such problems don’t exactly invite us to share them on CC.</p>
<p>I haven’t seen anyone on here trying to quiet people that have serious problems. Not everyone chooses to talk about it. An invitation is not reqired.</p>
<p>I haven’t seen people trying to quiet those whose children have serious problems either. I merely observe that if someone reads that “we” have children without problems, but that person does have child with serious problems, they might not feel included in “we” and might not feel that their posts are welcome here.</p>
<p>For a similar but trumped-up example, suppose someone posted “we’re so lucky here on CC, we don’t have to deal with prostate exams because we’re women.” Even though the post wouldn’t be saying that men aren’t welcome here, if you were a guy and saw a message like that, you’d feel like you didn’t belong. </p>
<p>Or if someone posted, “We’re so lucky here on CC, we worry about scholarships but at least we don’t have to worry about feeding our family,” and you were a single mother on food stamps who was worrying both about a scholarship for your teenager and also how to feed your younger child on your low salary, you’d feel you weren’t welcome, even though nobody explicitly had said that the site was for people of more means.</p>
<p>All of us have challenges in life. Some of us have HUGE challenges here on CC. But the difference is (for me) that we are looking beyond the challenges to the future. We want and need and give support to each other on so many topics. The very fact that we are here and trying to build a future for us, for our children or someone outside our family…we are lucky. Because at that moment we have food, and a roof over our heads. And to add to CF’s comment…I feel very strongly if you post something that you need help and what it is…someone may just come forward.</p>
<p>And yes, I speak from experience. About a year ago someone sent me a private message. I was able to assist and did.</p>
<p>"I haven’t seen people trying to quiet those whose children have serious problems either. I merely observe that if someone reads that “we” have children without problems, but that person does have child with serious problems, they might not feel included in “we” and might not feel that their posts are welcome here.</p>
<p>For a similar but trumped-up example, suppose someone posted “we’re so lucky here on CC, we don’t have to deal with prostate exams because we’re women.” Even though the post wouldn’t be saying that men aren’t welcome here, if you were a guy and saw a message like that, you’d feel like you didn’t belong."</p>
<p>??Well?? Not everyone is going to have something to say on every thread. It doesn’t mean that people are not welcome there, it may just not apply to every single person. What a boring place this would be if every single thread had to be relevant and applicable to everyone.</p>
<p>For example, there is nothing I can add to threads like: Vitrectomy, the Tennis Thread, Dress Mavens (okay, I tried on that one), Adopting a Cat, Ready for Football, Experience with GI conditions, or the Methadone thread. So what? I don’t think every single thread on here has to apply and appeal to me and my interests, and I feel offended and unwelcome there… I click on the ones that interest me, and occasionally inappropriately respond on threads that I know nothing about. And people explain, or ignore my attempts at sarcasm. So what?</p>
<p>Agree with busdriver11 about threads appealing to different members and would add that we all move through good and bad phases during our tenure here, if we stay long enough (and some of us have been here a LONG time). I think most posters are responsive and respectful to others, regardless of whether we are riding high or low. I took bevhills’s post to be one of someone enjoying a good stretch and expressing gratitude and I’m happy for her. I have been here for some time and remember that both before her Ellebud account locked up and since she assumed bevhills, she has had some pretty big challenges with in-laws, her uncle, and with health issues. I think most of us also identify with other posters who are down in the valley and hope to lend support where appropriate.</p>
<p>I’m not a huge fan of discussing other posters, but bevhills AKA ellebud has never been anything but supportive on this board. It’s a good place to come and say these things. You can’t say it at the shower. </p>
<p>I read: I’m so grateful to be so fortunate. This, from a poster who many of us know has had her fair share of pain. </p>
<p>Or…how about this? People come here for information and support. We aren’t perfect people, or parents or children. We are looking forward and living now. Sunrise East wrote her life and struggle…and she never gave up. She taught us. We supported her. Lucky? No. She taught us by experience A</p>
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