<p>Off-topic: this thread has become kind of a reunion where I can catch up on the kiddos of long-time posters. </p>
<p>I am personally thrilled that many have been able to resolve some challenging issues with varying degrees of success. There were times in our journey that we weren’t sure whether both kids would graduate from HS, much less college. We also weren’t sure if we would be able to save enough to support our kids if they couldn’t hold jobs due to their chronic health issues. Am so happy that both kids were able to graduate from college and that S is self-supporting (would also be happy if he dated–he may be but hasn’t shared). Am also happy and hopeful since D has been working closely with an MD who is helping improve her underlying chronic health condition. Her stamina is the best it’s been in over 14 years! She no longer sleeps 14-20 hours a day!</p>
<p>I am sad for folks who continue having struggles. We don’t know how much further D will improve and if she’ll ever be “normal,” but are so glad for her that she’s enjoying the increased stamina!</p>
<p>Thanks to those on this forum who have been supportive and shared your issues so that the journey hasn’t been so lonely. </p>
<p>Living in Colorado but very close to Utah. I had no idea that Utah was known for this until about 6 years ago a friend had his daughter (9th grade) what I would call ‘abducted’ at 5 AM to be taken to this school. I was mad at him for years because of it. Well the daughter who was slightly on the wild side (big party while parents were gone-what were they thinking?) is all it took. Strangely she adjusted well to it and does talk to them and have a relationship with them about 6 years later. I think he thought it was boarding school and ‘fix her’. Well one of the first things they required was that the parents read a stack of books and have frequent family conferences by phone to discuss. They were about family relationships and parenting. I did have a closed mind about it and still am irritated by what he did. I do not know what she would have been like otherwise but maybe she found a more accepting and nurturing environment than at home. She still lives in the same town in Utah and working.</p>
<p>Yeah, the parents and police often have to work together to arrange an “abduction,” because there’s no way the kid will go otherwise. And remember, a lot of times these kids are practically grown men who can easily overpower their parents. It’s really sad. A friend of mine (not the woman I wrote about earlier) cashed out her entire life savings to get her son into treatment. Sadly, it didn’t totally work and he ended up in jail a few years later. He has straightened his life out somewhat now but it has taken years. Another woman I know casually has had to live with the fact that her son (also a product of Utah treatment) sold heroin to a girl who OD’d on it. He spent several years in prison before being released and has recently relapsed.</p>
<p>I don’t honestly know what the success rate is with these treatment programs. I am sure they work for some kids but for all I know they prey on vulnerable, desperate parents who don’t see another way out. </p>
<p>I was thinking about this thread this morning and - without meaning to sound egotistical - I think it makes more sense to say that it is our kids who are are lucky. They are lucky to have us. </p>
<p>My 23 year old son just transferred to a 4 year college. He lived at home for 4 years, between ages 19 and 23, working minimum wage jobs and attending community college. He became acquainted with folks who were not so lucky in the parental lottery. </p>
<p>He knows quite a few young adults who are on their own - either by their choice or by their parents’ choice - and are trying to make a living with no real skills and no car. Right, no car, out in the suburbs with no public transportation, either walking long distances to that job at Subway, or relying on friends to give them rides, waiting hours after their shift for a ride home. </p>
<p>One guy has a deceased father and a mother in prison. Yes, he is legally an adult, but no safety net of any kind. (A social services agency did buy him a bicycle.) </p>
<p>One girl whose parents think they can’t afford community college tuition, not understanding that it likely wouldn’t be any more expensive than HS was, taking into account the fees for ECs, etc. But they aren’t very fluent in English and there are a lot of things that they just don’t get. </p>
<p>One guy in his mid-20s moved back home out of state, after an extended period of couch surfing…his abusive parent passed away, so he feels it is safe to return home.</p>
<p>Some of these young adults have caring parents, some don’t.</p>
<p>Not at all sure what to make of this thread. Until someone in your family is affected with a mental health crisis, it’s quite possible to feel a bit of schadenfreude when learning of other people’s situations, which is what I got from post #1. Afterward, not so much. I wouldn’t wish what my family went through this past year on my worst enemy, and I certainly don’t feel lucky, other than in the fact that both my children are still alive. It’s been a learning experience however, and it does put everything else in stark perspective. So much of what we stress and helicopter about is so insignificant. </p>
<p>^Snowdog, I couldn’t put it any better!</p>
<p>So sorry, Snowdog. Hang in there.</p>
<p>As I said in an earlier thread, I have never liked people telling me how fortunate they feel after they hear the news of another’s misfortunes. We are never far from another’s situation much as we think we may be. </p>
<p>Thinking of you snowdog. </p>
<p>What I meant by this thread is NOT that we are superior, or our kids are destined for greatness. I meant that within this community there are people who are experiencing challenges, need to find a hotel in Amsterdam, want to share life’s and death’s journey opening, we are here. We are here. And for that is why we are lucky. </p>
<p>I think it might have been the “there is a world out there I don’t want to be a part of…………” that has given others the impressions expressed in previous posts. I am sure parents with children who are experiencing the issues you talk about don’t want to be a part of that world either. They simply don’t have a choice.</p>
<p>I can imagine how these talks might have went between parents of the 60’s generation: Psychedelic drugs, pot, drinking & driving before strict DUI laws, Vietnam veterans with PTSD, hippie communes, radicals, free love, college drop outs, and a major generation gap that fractured families.</p>
<p>“My son told me he did this and he is now a …”
“My daughter dropped out and is living with a …”</p>