<p>I did not have a single female classmate in medical school or anytime through 2 training programs who did not intend to work full time. Subsequent life events, such as medical problems either of family member or self, inability to combine job/life demands, dictated their leaving full time work. </p>
<p>It’s way too much work to get thru med school/training unless you really want to do it. And these women are driven and bright enough that they would have likely been successful in many other fields.</p>
<p>I agree, ihs. Nobody would go through the massive effort that is med school, with the intention of quitting as soon as they could. No way. But other professions and degrees, maybe.</p>
<p>Another part-time MD here, though not entirely by choice. I’d work more hours, but not if it means doing work I find unethical. I know not everyone has a “choice” about that, and I’m grateful that I do. Still, my “guilt” is mitigated by the fact that I feel I bring something to the table that some can’t. The fact of the matter is, lots of folks want female (or African American, or gay, or Spanish Speaking or whatever…) physicians. </p>
<p>FWIW, when I got on this path, it never occurred to me that I couldn’t “do it all”. My mom did; every woman I grew up with did, unless they where on welfare.</p>
<p>Ummm… was that off topic? What’s this thread about?</p>
<p>I know a woman who went through medical school and residency and never worked at all. She wasn’t the brightest of bulbs, though, and it amazed me that she had even been smart enough to make it through.</p>
<p>Well, PG, maybe she realized her limitations and decided to quit before causing any harm. I’d give her credit for that.</p>
<p>Yep, shrink, getting off topic-that seems to happen in cc alot! That is wonderful that you are able to keep working and stick by your ethics. I was never told I couldn’t do anything either, it never occurred to me. Daughters of strong women or supportive dads seem to be like that. Hey, my mom was a trailblazer, she was the first women in her position to wear pants, at a major company. Though she wasn’t being a feminist, she just had fat ankles.</p>
<p>Thanks for the kudos, but to be clear, I only THOUGHT I could “do it all”…It wasn’t until after I had kids that I started to wonder. I also had an Air Force scholarship. Didn’t really “get” what that could mean until I had kids either.</p>
<p>Brings up an interesting point. I consider myself an ‘average’ mom. I go to my childrens’ parent teacher conferences, I cry when teachers tell me my child is not doing well with peers, I struggle with figuring out what to have for dinner, pick up DD after her dance class and sew her straps on her dance shoes.</p>
<p>We may not be an average family, in terms of education, job, income etc. but I sure consider myself an average mom :). But I don’t have a child in Ivy League, just one applying to equivalent schools, so strictly speaking, I am an interloper. Fade stage right…</p>
<p>Raising human beings (aka children) is an important, challenging, devoting and rewarding job. Why do people not giving the highest credit to a staying home mother ? Why do people think a “professional career” is more rewarding than a “mother career” ? Being a mother is not highly regard ? Being a physician is a better status ?</p>
<p>I don’t think anyone on this thread is putting down stay at home moms, compaq, so don’t jump to that conclusion purely because people are mentioning their professions. It is hard being a parent whether you are working full time, part time or staying at home. Why should people give higher credit to a specific choice?</p>
<p>I also had no idea what it meant to join the military and then have kids either, shrinkrap. I agree, you sure can’t do it all, alot of times I felt like I was doing it badly-both the kids and jobs part. When I have to leave my newborn baby with a babysitter for long periods of time while me and my husband went to war…well, I sure wished I’d been able to stay at home. Of course with the military, go to war or go to jail, take your pick. On the other hand, out of the military, my working has allowed my husband to take tons of time off to be with the kids. He’s been able to be there, all of the time. We didn’t panic when he was laid off. It has worked for our family, albeit sometimes painfully. But different things work for others. Not saying it is neccessarily better for women who work, it’s just nice that as women, we have the choice. Though personally if I was quite wealthy I’d retire early today!</p>
<p>I wonder, whether the parents did not also encourage their daughters to get married–and early, otherwise they would not find a spouse. When I was in college, many of my female classmates thought that they were there to get an Mrs. degree. My roommate surely did!</p>
<p>I will never forget sitting a college classroom in the late 70’s being told that statistically for every 7 women who married in their early 20’s, 3 would be divorced and 1 would be widowed by their early 40’s. At age 52, I can look around at the many women I know and honestly say that’s pretty much on target. </p>
<p>Many women stay home for awhile (I did, although not until I turned 40 and had worked for many years) but that doesn’t mean that their education was wasted or that they will not return to the workforce. I have no idea whether my daughter will always work outside the home or not, but her education is still a top priority and we will not consider it a waste.</p>
<p>That sounds good in theory, and maybe I could come to that conclusion. But I can tell you now, that after spending 1/2 million dollars for each child’s private schools, at the expense of our family lifestyle and retirement- I would be highly disappointed if either of my sons decide to spend the rest of their lives at a low skilled job or sitting on the couch doing nothing. Maybe if they were truly committed stay at home dads with wives who had extremely good full time jobs, I could come to grips with it. But I do know men that just don’t want to work, without money in the bank, not just early retirement, and without young kids at home.</p>
<p>The point is that no one can guess, a priori, who will become a SAHM or SAHD, who will make use of his or her professional education and in which way, who will be laid off from the supposed high paying job a few months after being hired (think the newly minted MBAs and lawyers).</p>
<p>No one goes to law school, med school, B school or goes for a Ph.D. in order to stay at home or turn their attention to something totally unrelated to their training. But unexpected things do happen. At a recent reunion, a formerly high-powered physician told me that she’d become a SAHM because she had an autistic child. A woman with a Ph.D. from an Ivy made use of her degree professionally may be for a couple of years. She had children and by the time they were in school, her husband had gotten a high-powered administrative job which entailed a lot of late evenings, many week-end meetings and lots of out of town and overseas travel. I doubt either of them had thought that that would be their life trajectory when they met in grad school.</p>
<p>Of course, nobody knows what is going to happen in their life, things are always changing. But if someone is anxiously looking around like crazy, in their early 20’s for that perfect well paid man and dying to have kids immediately, it is rather predictable. I fear my younger son may be looking for that well paid wife already…I can’t imagine going through med school, law school, or PhD with that intention, too much work!</p>
<p>Great, I’m always happy for new contacts! And any chance you have a 14-16 year old daughter (with a well paid career path) for a lazy but sweet teenage boy?</p>