My D1 is pregnant and due in November - I am SOO happy for them!
I offered to do a family/very close friends celebration of the event at our home. They live about 2.5 hours away so this will largely include local to here and Michigan family and a few from their area. About 30ish people.
This is NOT a baby shower. They did not want a wedding shower and do not want a coined baby shower. We will note on the invite “no gifts”. (They are older - 37 - and just strongly feel that they can afford on their own and feel awkward about the “shower” aspect - this is absolutely fine!). We will do it sort as an open house - so a 3-4 hour period, come as you like, stay as long as you desire, leave when you’re ready, celebrate the new family.
I will have food and low stakes decor. S will make a background playlist. All genders invited. If anyone breaks the “no gifts” they will NOT open them there. S will make a signature cocktail and mocktail.
(They are going to make a small registry for people who personally ask them - or me. And any of these gifts will be requested to ship directly to them).
So here’s what I’d like some suggestions on:
how to word the digital invite. “Bonjour Baby!” “Baby Celebration for X and X” “Welcome Baby!” “Backyard Baby Party” “Cheers to New Baby!” (it’s in September, we hope to use our outdoor pool area for ambiance, not swimming!)
How to word “open house” - so, you don’t need to come for the 3-4 hour period - come and go as you like!
I will say food and beverages are part of the celebration. I sort of want to do a French theme because they both have ties and a love of France and all things French. (Maybe I will lean towards “Bonjour Baby!”??? I’m thinking mini-croissant sandwiches, salads, baguettes with/spreads, charcuterie . Dessert will be a cake, pie (her H is a pie guy) and his sister has a small cookies business and will make beautiful cookies individually wrapped so guests can eat or take with them.
They certainly don’t want games. Any other suggestions of additions beyond, low key decor, music, food/drink, and mingling???
I’m so happy to do this. I do not love entertaining and definitely like low-key and casual. They want it casual too.
Are you planning this for after the new baby is born? Seems to me that is when you would be welcoming the new family member. But that’s me.
If after the baby is born, it can be billed like a Meet and Greet. Everyone loves to see a new baby (although I understand the parents might want to wait until next spring to do this).
Oops…missed this on my first read: it’s in September, we hope to use our outdoor pool area for ambiance, not swimming I come from a religion that doesn’t celebrate the arrival of a new baby until after the baby arrives. But you can do what is important to you. And I do understand your excitement and desire to share it!
Absolutely we want to celebrate the baby coming! It is a way for close family and friends to be a part of the journey and get bonded with the coming arrival of a new family member. People hold baby showers before the baby and wedding showers before the wedding - does that make the purpose of them gifts? Gifts are NOT the focus here - it’s celebrating a moment in the couple’s life in a way before baby arrives - celebrates the pregnancy and new journey - NOT the items of that journey - it’s the human part!
Neither of the couple are really religious. Spiritual and amazing human beings, yes - not tied to one religion.
Editing to say, this couple is probably going to be very reserved about people meeting baby before 2 months - to get a few immunizations in place first (immediate family an exception)
Please join us for an open house, between the hours of ___, to congratulate and celebrate the parents to be!
I think it’s also fine to state no gifts.
Love your food ideas!
I also don’t think you need to worry about activities, especially for an open house format with people coming and going. People are just going to want to talk and eat.
My D had a low key party and also didn’t want gifts. She decided to ask everyone to come with a favorite children’s book and write their names inside of the book. Some friends wrote such lovely notes. I think bringing something made party-goers feel good and stopped the bigger gifts from piling in. And they had a beautiful library for their son.
What about some wording indicating the parents are requesting no baby/shower gifts, BUT if you are so inclined, and have a good idea, a signed copy if your favorite childhood book would be treasured?
I think these are all great ideas—open house with expectant parents (stop by if you can join us for a visit), no gifts but a favorite childhood book signed by you.
Neighbors of ours requested donations (items or cash) to the local food pantry which has a “diaper bank” in addition to a robust selection of car seats, safety approved cribs, etc in lieu of gifts for their own baby.
It worked out great. People like to give; there are people in need. There are a lot of baby needs that SNAP won’t cover, and a lot of the borrowed equipment is no compliant with safety regulations.
Our local volunteer fire department is active in asking families to drive up so a “professional” (aka medic) can install the car seat properly. They lend a hand to the baby lending library at the food bank to make sure that parents leave with the car seat safely installed….
The celebration sounds lovely but I bet your kids would love to help build up the supplies for needy families!
We talked about the book idea and decided against it. Partially because people DO write in it and then when you get 3 Goodnight Moon’s you feel bad about “wasting” a book/$$. They feel strongly about people coming empty handed. Additionally, they are avid book people and have already started a library, have books coming from other family members and they have a family member with a background in children’s literacy (me!) and a plethora of books at their disposal!
It is more than a family party as there will also be some close friends. But we do want an official invite. And the invite can convey the joyful, casual nature of the event.
Appreciate the alternative ideas for “not an actually baby gift” but I think part of their stance is “can we just get together and be together and not have stuff be part of the equation”. They both volunteer and regularly give to child serving services in their town.
Will people conform to the “no gift” request? To be seen. They will still be let in the door if they have something in hand. And as I said, they will have a small registry set up if people anywhere in their life ask them or myself or his family to privately do something.
I am doing this happily for them. I do not have to run everything by them but we had our talk about specific wants or things they prefer not to have - and I am someone who will truly respect that!
Yep, you don’t know. I went to a 80th Birthday party, with a please don’t bring gifts on the invite and then saw a table of gifts brought by the guests. I usually abide by what people say, so if no gifts, I don’t bring gifts!
And as I said, they will have a small registry set up if people anywhere in their life ask them or myself or his family to privately do something.