<p>My nephew was recently married and I received an invitation to a baby shower for his new wife a few days ago. The shower is this weekend and I’ve decided not to go as it is 250 miles away. Their wedding was a private ceremony and I sent a generous monetary gift. I thought about going in with my mother and getting them a high chair for the shower but now, since I’m not going, I thought I might wait until the baby is born and give them cash for or purchase what they are still lacking. The new wife is registered at 5 places and has a high chair listed at four. When I asked, I was told if they got more than 1 they would just return the others. Just seems easier to wait, but do I need to send something to the shower? What would you do?</p>
<p>I don’t think you send gifts to showers but you could send a congratulation note, and something once the baby is born.
When is the baby due? They won’t need a high chair for a LNG time.</p>
<p>Good point. Diapers and sleep is what they’ll need, but I can only help with one of those things!</p>
<p>Once the baby is born, you could send a savings bond. Also a gift of diaper service is nice, & cloth diapers are so much easier to train kids out of than paper, because they feel more uncomfortable when wet.</p>
<p>250 miles isn’t that far though, maybe you can combine it with a family reunion for the christening!</p>
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<p>Unless the mom to be has decided that she wants to do cloth diapers, I would not suggest buying cloth diapers & diaper service. It sounds a lot like the gift is really judgment in disguise, and I don’t think it’s appropriate to pass judgment on the behavior of others through gift giving.</p>
<p>Kids turn out fine whether they wear disposable or non-disposable diapers.</p>
<p>I have to agree with Engineer4life. Unless I specifically said I wanted to use cloth diapers, I would feel very uncomfortable receiving a gift of a diaper service. Similarly, I would feel uncomfortable receiving a gift related to breast-feeding unless I specifically indicated I was going to nurse.</p>
<p>preironic - shower gifts are not necessary if you do not attend the shower. If you want to send something, I would suggest something small or maybe something to be kept long-term (silver picture frame, Bunnykins cup and bowl, etc). Then give a larger gift (or money/gift certificate) after the baby is born.</p>
<p>All I said was that a prepaid service was nice which it is.
I didn’t say that it was mandatory anyplace did I?
So whos doing the judging?</p>
<p>Even if you plan to use paper later, a service is really timesaving at the beginning. Diapers are not something you want to run out of.</p>
<p>I always gather wonderful classic childrens books and present them in a very large gift basket… and add books on tape, classical music cd’s, booties, maybe a beautiful baby blanket… etc. I always loved to get books as gifts when my kids were small. </p>
<p>I had the displeasure last year of having a family member registered at 5 or 6 places… couldn’t undetstand the thinking behind that. She recieved so many duplicates of items that it was insane! How many bathtubs does one need? </p>
<p>I am sure this is old fashioned in thinking but I never looked for others to provide the necessities for my babies. Always had all the items that they needed prior to the shower. The shower was more of a celebration.</p>
<p>Another good idea might be to do something like a food delivery service… like Pea Pod… so she can just order her food online and have it delivered… that would have been a godsend when I had a newborn.</p>
<p>But getting a pre-paid gift of a service you don’t any desire to use is pointless.</p>
<p>Getting a gift of anything that you don’t have any desire to use is useless and can happen with virtually any gift a gift-giver might pick, I don’t see why it being a service makes it any more of a big deal.</p>
<p>With most gifts, you can return them and at least exchange it for something you DO need or want. Can you do that with a diaper service?
(Am asking…really don’t know)</p>
<p>I give gifts for when the child is older…a sports sweatshirt of a local teem for a toddler, books, etc…</p>
<p>Last shower I went to the mother had so many infant clothes it was ridiculous. Mine were the first clothes for a toddler girl and she was thrilled.</p>
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<p>My wife had a ridiculous number of infant clothes. Until we had our kid, and she spit up after every feeding, which was like 8 times a day. Very quickly, the enormous pile of infant clothes seemed very practical.</p>
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<p>We used disposable from day 1, and a service would not have been a timesaving. Disposable from day 1 is a timesaving. </p>
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<p>This threat is about etiquette. I consider giving gifts that can be perceived as attempting to influence someone’s choices as being poor etiquette. In this case, giving someone a diaper service who was not planning on using cloth diapers would be poor gift giving etiquette.</p>
<p>I don’t think you need to send something if you are not attending the shower. If you want to send something, a gift card to a restaurant might be nice, and it fits inside a “congratulations on the new baby” card.</p>
<p>I either give a returnable item or a gift card/savings bond. Makes it easier on everyone.</p>
<p>You can’t go wrong if you mail her a 12 month baby outfit. Everyone (well, almost everyone) gives 3month and 6 month outfits. Gifts of size 12month and up are quite rare but very practical. </p>
<p>I still remember that my cousin gave me a 24 month outfit for the birth of my first child (back when I knew everything and nothing. LOL). I thought that was a very odd baby gift. Well, my baby was wearing that outfit at 12 months of age and it was the only baby gift of clothing that he had that fit. He’d outgrown everything else (including a slew of untouched 6 month clothing - he could not wear all the clothing I received as gifts. There were just too many outfits.)</p>
<p>A favorite gift we received for DD was a sterling silver tooth saver shaped like a bell with a gold fairy atop it. That was 24+ years ago. I liked it so much that I spent a couple of hours finding one online and bought one just like it for my cousin who recently had a baby. Her husband is a dentist so that made it even more special for them (according to her).</p>
<p>If you’re not attending the shower, I see no reason to send a gift with someone. Once the baby arrives, send a congratulatory note along with a nice gift.</p>
<p>The problem with sending things to grow into, is it can be hard to predict what size they will wear in what season.
My oldest was 3lbs10oz when she came home from the hospital at just under two months old, so I had to pack most of the clothing gifts away.
Which I promptly forgot about until she was three.
:o
A book that you enjoyed reading to your kids is also nice.
Or one they can chew on.
My youngest loved this one.
[“More</a> More More,” Said the Baby Board Book, By Vera B. Williams , Illustrated by Vera B. Williams: HarperCollins Children’s Books](<a href=“http://www.harpercollinschildrens.com/books/More-Said-Baby-Vera-B-Williams/?isbn13=9780688156343&tctid=120]"More”>http://www.harpercollinschildrens.com/books/More-Said-Baby-Vera-B-Williams/?isbn13=9780688156343&tctid=120)</p>
<p>I was very excited to be given the gift of the first three months of a diaper service for my first-born, except that she was born with congenital hip dysplasia and had to be in a harness that prevented the use of cloth diapers. (Of course, now they have all sorts of fancy velcro covers and it’s probably possible with a harness, but 20 years ago, it was plastic pants, and they didn’t work.)</p>
<p>Registering for baby shower gifts? That’s a new one on me. And at five places? It is in poor taste, IMHO.</p>
<p>If you don’t intend to go to the shower–and it seems to me that this was probably a courtesy invitation, given the distance–but you wish to give a gift, I’d go with something like a bunnykins set or–my favorite baby gift–a really nice woven cotton receiving blanket from Berea Weavers. (In fact, that is the kind of gift I would give if I were going to the shower.)</p>