<p>I agree with not having to send a gift if you don’t attend. However, if you want to since it is a relative, how about a book that you or your kids loved as a child. Can send straight from Amazon with little fuss. Love books as gifts, especially if first child.</p>
<p>It’s beyond rude to send gifts promoting cloth diapers and/or breastfeeding unless you know the person explicitly wants to do those things. What is it about these choices where proponents feel so compelled to Share The Truth with everyone? Actually, consider that a rhetorical question, as I’m not interested in 1000 posts about the superiority of these things.</p>
<p>Etiquette would tell the receiver of the gift to graciously thank the giver whether or not the receiver wanted to use the gift. Most people are not trying to promote an agenda with a gift. They sincerely believe the item to be a great idea. Remember we are just talking about a baby shower here. :)</p>
<p>By the way, I just went to a baby shower that was more like a wedding reception. It even had a sit down dinner. Items on the register were very pricey. I personally like the showers that are held in someone’s house with cookies and punch.</p>
<p>My grandson’s favorite gift that he got was a mobile. He loved that. I loved the umbrella stroller- so practical. And both gifts from the same person!</p>
<p>I must run in different circles. The new mothers I’ve known in recent years have been focused on basic, practical needs for newborns – onesies, receiving blankets, towels, baby bathtub, etc. When I’m giving these days, I’ve found that nothing is more appreciated than a Target gift card. </p>
<p>I never give clothes because of what happened to us with D. She was given tons of adorable things, mostly in 3 months size. Problem was, she was born during a very hot summer, and pretty much lived her first 6 weeks in a diaper. By the time it cooled off a little, she had outgrown most of those charming expensive clothes. </p>
<p>Consolation, the baby registry is common here, and I appreciate it for the same reason I appreciate a bridal registry: I’d rather get them something I know they want. I don’t see anything wrong with that.</p>
<p>If you wanted to send something small, I like Baby First Year sticker calendars. It makes it easy to capture milestones. On ours, we used the stickers and also added many notations by hand.</p>
<p>Harder to find but very cool are Second Year sticker calendars… babies do so much the second year!
[Amazon.com:</a> Nature’s Lullabies Second Year Sticker Calendar: Baby](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Natures-Lullabies-Second-Sticker-Calendar/dp/0980027594/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1341396996&sr=8-1&keywords=second+year+baby+calendar]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/Natures-Lullabies-Second-Sticker-Calendar/dp/0980027594/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1341396996&sr=8-1&keywords=second+year+baby+calendar)</p>
<p>I like your suggestion for cloth diapers , emerald kitty. At the very least , diapers ( not thru a service obviously ) make great burp cloths
I used cloth for two of my three and found them much easier , cheaper and kinder to the little tushies 
Sometimes they are good to have on hand as alternative when plagued with rashes</p>
<p>I’d pick a gift at a registry now. They’d like all listed get picked.</p>
<p>lje…someone gave be a pack of cloth diapers which made me chuckle as I had no intention of using cloth diapers, but they DO make great burp and urp cloths and they last forever…I think those same 6 baby diapers are in the garage 23 years later as car cloths. If I were not attending the shower I probably wouldn’t send anything, but I probably would send something when the baby was born.</p>
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<p>Yes, but people giving diaper services and breastfeeding accessories to a mother who hasn’t said she’s interested in either of those things ARE trying to promote an agenda, because those are topics that bring out the evangelicals. Of course you would graciously thank a giver; doesn’t mean the agenda-pushing is any less obnoxious.</p>
<p>I would send a gift card to one of the places she is registered, preferably Target/Walmart type place where she could use that for clothing, equipment, diaper, etc.</p>
<p>I guess we shouldn’t mention the fact that some expectant mothers only want organic cotton?</p>
<p>In that case, they should buy their own baby clothes.</p>
<p>In fact, I am appalled by the idea that people are expected to cough up all of the equipment/clothing required for a new baby and that people have the gall to register, and in multiple places, no less. This seemingly endless round of engagement parties with gifts that formerly would have been considered enough for a wedding, bridal showers with more significant gifts, weddings with a virtual admission charge (covering the plate, how tacky can you get) and now baby gift extortions just makes me sick. </p>
<p>What happened to people giving gifts as the spirit moved them, and the recipients being grateful? Okay, I think it makes sense for people to register for china and silver and so forth, so that others will know what you like. There is a tradition of helping to set a young couple up with the accoutrements necessary for a gracious life. But it has gone beyond and into rampant greed and extortion, IMHO.</p>
<p>They, of course, need to grow up … But then I’d either give them something in organic cotton or get them something not cotton-based.</p>
<p>I just sent a friend a Babies R US gift certificate - can be done on the internet, very easy.</p>
<p>I agree, Consolation, that covering the plate is tacky. But I’m not sure what’s wrong about registering for baby showers as one does for a wedding. And while of course everyone needs to consider her own budget, I for one “extend myself” when it comes to buying gifts for those I"m close to. There are people where I would show up with a bunch of onesies or a few bibs and call it a day, and there are people where I’d go buy them their choice of carseat, highchair, etc. - because they’re important to me and I’m fine with spending the money. They aren’t extorting me at all.</p>
<p>Has anyone gotten or given an “I Like” for kids book at a baby shower? One of my friends is having her third son (all four years apart). I bought 3 for her, but now I’m thinking I’m just giving her a sense of obligation when she least needs it…</p>
<p>I work in a daycare center. The kids who wear cloth diapers aren’t the kind you use for burp clothes. They are diapers with a waterproof colorful fabric outerlayer (all one piece) that either velcro tabs or snaps on the sides.</p>
<p>After having worked in the “crawlers” room at the daycare center, I can say that there is no such thing as too many bibs.</p>
<p>Consolation, I admit I’m a bit taken aback by your opposition to baby registries. I can assure you that the young mothers I know did not register in the spirit of “greed and extortion.” Twenty-one years ago, we too needed a lot of stuff we couldn’t afford, while being surrounded by a lot of people who wanted to help us out. </p>
<p>Many young couples simply do not have the budget for even the basics. Twenty-one years, ago we certainly were not thinking of the “gracious life;” we were thinking “survival.” And we would have been glad to get one carseat and one stroller, rather than no carseats and three strollers.</p>
<p>The young mothers I know didn’t ask for silver-plated baby sets, or top-of-the-line designer baby swings. The items on their list were the same basic baby stuff which I needed. When I shopped for them (and I shopped because I wanted to, not because I felt coerced), I was very glad that I didn’t have to rely on my own guesses, and I bet they were glad to get precisely what they needed. What’s wrong with that?</p>
<p>Agree with LasMa. I’ve never felt “coerced” into giving a gift.</p>
<p>I’ve never felt coerced into buying a gift, and do not consider myself greedy. I registered for baby stuff myself 18 years ago. I was happy to get any of the stuff I registered for and just as grateful for any of the other lovely gifts I received. I give as generously as I can (or wish to) when families I know have babies on the way.</p>
<p>I have at times felt coerced. All depends on how the invitation is extended. </p>
<p>I recently received a note of FB. The gal recently moved far away so she has no friends where she lives now. She sent all of her FB friends a notification that since a baby shower would not be possible, we could just look at her registries and pick what we wanted to give her and just mail it. To me, it was just a blatant ‘give me baby gifts’ kind of thing. Rubbed me the wrong way. I never did look at her registry. </p>
<p>I had planned to send her a baby gift anyway and so I just did what I’d planned on from the beginning - a handmade gift of personalized baby bibs (several) and burp cloths (several). And a book. I always include a book as a gift for a child. Frankly, I don’t think it is possible for a child to have too many books.</p>