<p>NewHavenCTmom - the NICEST gift I received for my baby (24 years ago) was a handmade bookcase and a large collection of classic (and some not so classic) storybooks. These from my brother, who (at the time) was a library curator. I sincerely believe this instilled the LOVE of reading, storytelling, and live theater my D exhibits, to this day. I have followed this gift several times myself, providing a new baby and its parents with precious storybooks, and (I believe) many memories and hours of bonding.</p>
<p>If in doubt for wedding or baby shower, I get a gift card for the Registry store (sometimes with a smaller gift too).</p>
<p>I don’t care how tacky gift registries are, I LOVE them. It makes gift buying so much easier. We had one wedding in the family where the couple didn’t register because they thought it was tacky. Well, they ended up with all cards with cash and were a bit disappointed they didn’t have anything to “open”, no one knew what they had, what they needed, what they wanted so they gave cash. They were more than greatfull for the money but realized afterwards they made a mistake not registering.</p>
<p>I think it depends on the part of the country and what is common in your circle.
I didn’t have an engagement party or know anyone who did.
I did have a bridal shower, but it had never occurred to me to “register” someplace.
People are going to give you what they want, of they could ask if they really don’t have any idea.
I also had a baby shower with first. It happened to be on the same day she was coming. home from the hospital, so we cut it a little short. Didn’t think of registering for that either, but I did get huge sacks of lightly used clothes from friends that kept her going for years. Of course at first we had to buy clothes from the hospital gift shop since everything else was too big.
Receiving blankets are great. They can be used for so many things. My mom knitted a beautiful receiving blanket, then cause she wanted something more to do (& her meds were making her odd) she knitted another blanket, but it ended up being about 8’x3 ’ . I just rolled her up in it like a burrito!</p>
<p>We have a wedding to go to across the country in September. It’s my boyfriend’s sister, he hasn’t laid eyes on her in forever, I’ve never met her, and we’ve never met her fiance or set foot in her home. I was wondering if she’d register given that this is her second wedding and I wasn’t sure if that was quite proper, but she did and I am so glad… I’d have had NO IDEA what to get her otherwise and I would love to get her something nice to congratulate her on her wedding. Most of the people I know don’t register to create a “gimme” list, it’s a courtesy to their guests to give them an idea of what they need which guests are free to take or leave. Works for me.</p>
<p>I have to wonder about people who seem to be surrounded by so many selfish gift grubbers that they have to read so far into these things. You get to choose who you socialize with, you know.</p>
<p>Gift not necessary if not attending shower. Send cash later.
I’ve been to a lot of showers over the years (H & I both from large families, we have a large family, several of our sibs and most of our friends have large families. . .) IMO, cash is best. I also liked classic children’s books and music and disposable diapers. My girls liked and saved things that had their names/birthdates etc. on them.</p>
<p>My newphew lives in another state, but they sent me a shower invitation for their first born anyway. Because it was family, I wanted to give them something. I didn’t think of cash (do people actually do that?), but I knew that they would be getting a lot of clothes and the bigger items from family close by. I sent them a selection of really nice soaps, shampoos, and lotions from a company that makes organic baby products, along with a washcloths and a towel. Because they were consumables, it didn’t matter if they got duplicates.
The new mom mentioned more than once how much she liked the products.</p>
<p>ema, I have no problem with people registering for wedding gifts, as I said. I have never known anyone who registered for baby things, though, and it strikes me as extremely presumptuous. I have purchased baby gifts for people, received baby gifts, given a baby shower for a friend, and had a shower given for me…and somehow we all managed to find a nice gift that was appreciated without being handed a shopping list!</p>
<p>Frankly, I can’t even imagine what one would register FOR. People usually give clothes, stuffed animals, receiving blankets, books…how do you register for those things? It is incomprehensible. Unless, of course, you pick out a crib, changing table, stroller, and so forth and actually expect other people who are not your parents or siblings to buy them for you. (If your parents want to chip in for something major, surely they talk with you about it. Ours did.)</p>
<p>Obviously many others here are used to that kind of thing. To each his own.</p>
<p>Moonchild, re giving cash: no, people do not do that sort of thing in my experience, although they may give a savings bond for the baby. On the other hand, I do not come from a culture that gives cash at weddings, either.</p>
<p>I have mixed opinions here. It surely does make gift giving easier for the guests when there is a registry to purchase from or at least get an idea of the recepient’s taste. I do have trouble with the young brides registering for very expensive and not very practical china when their jobs and lifestyle or projected lifestyle does not merit its use. Clearly that is MY personal opinion. But then I’m contradictory with the baby items. I agree, should we be supplying the basics? But with the bride I don’t support the extras or things they probably wouldn’t buy on their own? Can’t win with me, I guess! One thing I’m sure of is that many new mothers request items that border on, “Got to have the best and most updated…” A cloth diaper for a burp cloth vs an expensive piece of cotton with a duck stamped in the corner for a burp cloth. My current unfavorite item is the baby wipe warmer. Really?</p>
<p>Thanks for all the advice and tips. I think I’ll wait until the baby is born and send some classic books and a nice fat gift card. I was thrown by the new mom registering for multiple high chairs, swings and car seats (the larger items I was considering). If I go to the trouble to pick one out and get it to the shower, I don’t like the idea that it will be returned because she got another one she liked better. What’s the point?</p>
<p>I’m surprised that registering isn’t common everywhere. I really thought it was.</p>
<p>People register for everything, strollers, bathtubs, highchairs, car seats, the whole bit. Often the family wants coordinated or matching items. I’ve never heard of registering for multiples of the same thing unless you were having multiple babies.</p>
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<p>It’s just a panicky & pregnant mom to be. Cut her some slack. Pregnant women, especially as they get close to their due date, don’t always make rationale choices because their hormones are thrown off by pregnancy and because they are trying to nest and create a home for this person they’ve never met but have taken with them everywhere for the last 7 or 8 months.</p>
<p>I’m guessing she wanted to make it easier for people to purchase things at whatever store they went to. But she registered at Target, Walmart, Babies R Us and a couple of other places. Surely everyone has access to Target and Walmart and that would have been enough. What a lot of time spent choosing and registering. She picked a different swing, high chair and car seat from each place, also. So who knows which she would most want. I also don’t have any problem with registries. It’s pretty standard here, but usually only one place.</p>
<p>For reference, we bought our high chair for $20 off of Craigslist. It’s beautiful and far nicer than anything that we could have bought at Target or Babies r Us, but we had to scour the ads. I can probably sell it for $30 or $40 when we’re done. (It was something like $100 or $150 new).</p>
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The first and second year calendars are also what I like to give. It’s pretty much guaranteed that no one else will give them!</p>
<p>I just ordered some really cute thank you notes and return address labels for a baby naming. But it helps that I knew the baby’s name. Do you know if its a boy or a girl?</p>
<p>We don’t know if it’s a boy or girl. That’s a great idea, but I have a history with this nephew of never acknowledging gifts and I’d not like him to think it was a dig. His new wife is great about thank you cards, though, so I look forward to many years free from thinking so many things get lost in the mail.</p>
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<p>Please help me understand what seems like an inconsistency. Why do bridal registries signal “gracious living” as you said upthread, but baby registries are beyond the pale? Or, another way you put it: Why are baby registries are “extremely presumptuous”, but bridal registries are not? What is a bridal registry, if not the “shopping list” which you find so distasteful?</p>
<p>You admit you know nothing about them – perhaps that’s why it’s “incomprehensible.” But believe it or not, lots of expectant mothers DO know how to register, and lots of friends and family DO find them extremely helpful. Why be so judgmental? Does the fact that you’re unfamiliar with them automatically make them worthy of scorn?</p>
<p>Here’s what I love to give to new parents (or soon-to-be parents): the “Voyage to the Bunny Planet” series of toddler books. Writen and illustrated by Rosemary Wells. Intended for toddlers, but relevant to everyone, including adults.</p>
<p>[Amazon.com:</a> Voyage to the Bunny Planet (9780670011032): Rosemary Wells: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Voyage-Bunny-Planet-Rosemary-Wells/dp/0670011037/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1341513299&sr=1-1&keywords=voyage+to+the+bunny+planet]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/Voyage-Bunny-Planet-Rosemary-Wells/dp/0670011037/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1341513299&sr=1-1&keywords=voyage+to+the+bunny+planet)</p>
<p>Sometimes several people might chip in and buy a big ticket item such as a stroller. What’s wrong with that?</p>