<p>Since the holidays are almost over, did anyone have any bad Houseguests?</p>
<p>I’m still annoyed by the actions of one of my siblings and would love to have company, lol!</p>
<p>My BIL has a large home on a lake and sister invited herself. She sat on her butt the whole weekend and did not help with any cleaning or meal preparation. Balked when I asked her to contribute to buying some ingredients for dinner. And was annoyed that I asked her to straighten up the bathroom and strip the beds before they left. </p>
<p>Well, it didn’t happen this Christmas, but my husband’s brother and his wife are notorious in our house for being bad house guests .
They live in Scandinavia and have come here several times , but the last two times were not fun.
They use us and our home as a bed and breakfast. They brought another couple with them too, making it even more work for us.
We live about 15 minutes from the beach and since our summer lasts longer than theirs, come in September, when we are exhausted from the end of our seasonal business.
I could site several examples, but suffice to say that they really enjoy the food I prepare, and also the comfort of our in-law apartment, pool and hot tub.
They want to come again this coming September and my husband has told them we might not be here.
We are trying to figure out some limits / restrictions / conditions.
I say ok, but no friends ( especially since we don’t know them ) and bring their parents.
They are a little too stuck up to travel with elderly parents , so that ought to be the nail in the coffin</p>
<p>My sister and her family. The house is a vacation home that belongs to my H’s brother and wife. They have owned the house for 10 years (they rent it for income and also personal use) and we have never asked to use the vacation home ever. Until this time, my sil did offer and she is very generous but I have never before asked to use their vacation home.</p>
<p>I had to transport all of the food or buy up there at inflated prices. I will offer to pay my sil the cleaning fee but the owners were not able to come up the weekend we were there. They are coming this weekend and I wasn’t sure if the cleaner had time to come. So I felt I had to clean up the house. </p>
<p>Oh my! This is your husband’s brother’s vaca home and your sister (and her family) invited themselves! </p>
<p>Well of course you felt the need to clean up the place, but actually SIS should have done most of the work since she was completely free-loading. </p>
<p>I’m going to have to lend you some of my Italian genes. Your sis deserves a “good ole talking to.”</p>
<p>How the heck did sis “invite herself,” get the address, and show up? Unbelievable! </p>
<p>The only time we’ve had a bad guest was nearly 30 years ago. H’s brother asked if he could stay in our new apt while we went on our honeymoon. We agreed. Oh my. He had departed by the time we got home, but we let him know that he was wrong to leave our place a mess, especially since we had done him a favor by letting him avoid the cost of several days of a hotel. </p>
<p>In retrospect I should have told my sibling that I didn’t have the room or the time to entertain them. I was super busy this holiday season and was physically and mentally exhausted by the time they showed up. </p>
<p>I blew up at her and that was wrong of me. I have a hard time saying no to people and wanted for my mom to have her family together. We are all over and are not able to be in the same place at one time. </p>
<p>The good news is that the holidays are over </p>
<p>Ok, so maybe “blowing up” maybe wasn’t the best approach, but she was inappropriate and likely deserved a good bit of it. </p>
<p>You’re right, she should have been told that she couldn’t come when she “invited herself”. Obviously, if she were to invite herself in the future, you have this example (free-loading, not doing her fair-share of work, etc) to present. </p>
<p>Not only are there bad houseguests, there are bad hosts too! I’ve had my sister invite me, then after a 5 hour drive she wasn’t even home and was off playing tennis. I had to wait in the driveway for someone to come home and let me in. I’ve had no clear place to sleep, or the heat in that room not turned out, not a single bit of food in the house. Never mind the absolutely filth at my in laws. My allergies get so bad I now stay at a hotel. I’ve had family have other, better plans come up and just leave us for the night. I’ve been witness to knock down drag out fights including words and phrases that would make a sailor blush - in front of my kids. </p>
<p>I’ve had houseguests doing it so loudly in their room I’ve wondered how they had the nerve to walk out and look us in the eye - lol I’m used to people not bringing their own toiletries, so I always have plenty on hand, but someone will invariably complain that it’s not what they use at home. </p>
<p>I just want to stay at hotels now. lol Or have the guests do the same. </p>
<p>My favorite is a woman whose child was in my daughters 3rd grade class. I had never met her, but the girls were friends at school. It was only September and she asked if the girl could spend the night. She ended up staying 4 days - no toothbrush or change or clothes or any explanation beyond she was sick. Turned out she got a face peel and wanted to hang out during recovery alone. I was ready to turn her over to social services for abandonment. </p>
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I’ve had houseguests doing it so loudly in their room I’ve wondered how they had the nerve to walk out and look us in the eye - lol </p>
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<p>Oh wow…have never had that happen (or) have never heard that happen. (I would probably not be able to contain myself once I saw them the next morning.)
=)) %-( </p>
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<p>Keep a little map on hand with local stores marked, and then hand it to them when they complain. Sheesh!</p>
<p>Our older son graduated in May and moved back in August. He is a terrible house “guest” !!! But progress is being made, and I don’t mean improving his house guest manners. That seems to be a lost cause. I mean he just started a job which is step 1 in getting him out of the house!!!</p>
<p>I’ve been a bad guest. Caught the flu on a plane and got everyone sick. Spent the holidays in bed, semi-conscious, sweating away in a high temp. Then everyone else followed. And at night, my son got a bloody nose from hell, sleeping through much of it. He bled all over host’s nice bedding and expensive pillows. Lucky for us, our hosts were family, and they “have to” have us. Otherwise we’d never be invited back! </p>
<p>Oh no, katliamom! How terrible for everyone!</p>
<p>I’m feeling much better. My H’s brother called to pick up the cottage keys. They are taking a large group up there for NYE and I am so glad that the cottage is clean. </p>
<p>I guess I was surprised. I felt that when you go to a vacation house, everyone pitches in and contributes an equal amount. And that even when you have a lengthy drive home, you understand that it’s not a hotel but someone’s vacation home and it needs to be left in the shape you found it or better. </p>
<p>The owners of the cottage were happy to let us use their home and said that they are glad to have others enjoy the cottage. They are truly so kind and generous. And when we offered to pay for utilities, firewood and the cleaning fee, they declined. As I knew they would. I feel very fortunate. :)</p>
<p>I was going to suggest some may come from families where if the host is doing the hosting, one may offer to clean up or otherwise perform household chores but there’s almost always the expectation the host will decline the offer with grace. In such families, the expectation is the hosting party takes on that responsibility and sometimes asking the houseguest to clean up or perform such chores would be considered a sign one’s a bad host. </p>
<p>However, this doesn’t seem to apply as OP and sister grew up in the same household and yet, have differing perceptions in this regard. </p>
<p>When I host, I am grateful for offers of help…but would always decline such offers as I come from a family where if one’s hosting a party or guests, it’s the host’s responsibility to do the chores/cleanup…not the guests’. </p>
<p>OP, you are a great houseguest to cleanup and it’s unfortunate you and your sister aren’t on the same page regarding houseguest behavior. </p>
<p>I’ve never had terrible house guests but I find it draining when we do have company. My house is small and there isn’t a lot of privacy. My kids often bring their boyfriends home for visits and I really enjoy their company but, boy, I never get used to how much boys eat! Bottomless pits!</p>
<p>As far as staying with others, I don’t. I HATE being a guest in someone’s house. It feels awkward and uncomfortable to me. I have cat and dust allergies and these invariably kick in. And I always feel like I am putting the host out. No matter what they say. </p>
<p>At our lake house, I don’t ask people to do anything. But if they ask “What can we do before we leave? Do you want me to make the bed?” I usually answer “you don’t have to do anything. Leave the bed unmade, though.” At that point, they usually offer to strip the bed and leave the sheets in the laundry room and I usually agree to that.</p>
<p>When we have our big July 4 bash, there is no way I could do everything. Our friends know that, and EVERYBODY chips in with regard to prepping for meals and cleaning up after. Even so, I miss out on most of the celebration, but that’s okay. We love hosting it, and I can ride on the boat any other time I want to.</p>
<p>EPTR - I could have written your post. I HATE staying with people. So much. So uncomfortable. And I have a tiny house and rarely have houseguests except for d’s boyfriend. He’s a peach, but it’s so exhausting to have company. I don’t even know why it makes me tired but it does. But since they’re getting married I better get used to it quick!</p>
<p>I ran into an old friend today that recently sold his business. He bought a hotel ( of all things ) in Vermont. I mentioned to him that I was surprised he did that and he told me that part of the reason he did it was because he isn’t a big fan of house guests , and can offer them a hotel room , rather than hosting them in their own house…that’s one way to do it !</p>
<p>If we stay with family, I don’t even ask about helping, I just do it. Always strip the beds and leave the room like we found it. When we stay at our friends beach house we clean our room, our bathroom and help clean the rest of the house along with them. I want to be the guest that is invited back. When we have the whole gang over for holiday dinners, the people that cook bring something and the others will set and clear the table. We’ve never been very formal and I don’t think I would be able to do all the work if a sibling was just sitting there if it wasn’t even my house. </p>
<p>Wow…buying a hotel to avoid houseguests! lol</p>
<p>I have used one of my vacation rentals as a “guest house” for our guests…as long as the dates were free. It’s a win/win. The guests have their own space, including kitchen, and we don’t feel the need to “entertain” the entire time. I think another reason people like this is because each adult can go to bed whenever they want, rather than thinking that they have to be “up with the others.”</p>
<p>When I read the OP’s post, I thought of my situation. My “house guests” have always left the place immaculate…including washing the sheets, towels, etc ( I do have detergent and cleaning products there). </p>
<p>I would be appalled if any had acted like the OP’s sister…sitting on her fanny the entire time, expecting the OP to cook/clean…and also (likely) expecting the Owners or the OP to solely fund the Housekeeper after departure. </p>
<p>I think the OP was right to “tell her off”. (I wonder what her response was? lol ). </p>
Your sis deserves a “good ole talking to.”</p>