<p>When I have house guests at our vacation place, I prefer that they not strip the beds–just leave them unmade. This way the cleaning crew knows which beds to make-up. For me, the most helpful thing that guests can do is to offer to clear the dining room table and bring dishes, wine glasses, utensils, etc. to the kitchen and help with kitchen clean up, i.e., loading the dishwasher. The other thing is to bring any glasses in the living areas into the kitchen rather than leaving them in the living area. My H is the cook and he usually doesn’t want help cooking. I’ll ask people who want to help with meal prep to set the table and show them where they can find dishes/wine glasses, silver, etc.</p>
<p>I’ve found that the best way to make sure to get help is to tell folks what I need. It works great with college kids and 20-somethings out of college, who often need direction to be good guests. It’s also good for some adults too. It’s rare that someone would use our vacation place when we’re not there. We do rent it in August and have been lucky to have the same renters. They’ve always left the place in good shape–I don’t expect them to clean because a crew will come in and do that after they leave. I just expect that they leave it orderly–dishes away, food gone, no big messes.</p>
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When I have house guests at our vacation place, I prefer that they not strip the beds–just leave them unmade. This way the cleaning crew knows which beds to make-up.</p>
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<p>I don’t understand…if certain beds have been stripped, then those are the ones that need to remade with fresh linens. </p>
<p>I can understand not wanting guests to make the beds with dirty linens…that could be confusing. But stripped beds or unmade beds clearly indicate used beds. I do clearly indicate in Departure Directions to pull the sheets off any used beds. </p>
<p>@mom2collegekids some people will “fake” make the bed after stripping it by pulling up the bedspread and putting shams over the pillows. That makes the room like nice and finished, while potentially confusing the cleaning crew.</p>
<p>Oh yes! The crew always has to peek under to see if there are clean sheets there! Another tell-tale sign is if the beds look made, but there are dirty sheets in the hampers or by the washer.</p>
<p>I have had few Guests wash and remake beds. Usually it’s obvious if that’s done. And even if a Guest remakes a bed without washing the sheets first, THAT is quite obvious, too…sheets that have been slept in do NOT look like freshly laundered sheets. lol And when in doubt…wash again. </p>
<p>Usually Guests who take the time to wash sheets will just fold them and leave them on the unmade beds. </p>
<p>When the main house and guest house are full, we’ve got 9 sets of sheets. The main house has all queen sheets and the guest house has all full sheets. It sounds silly but keeping the sheets separated keeps the right sheets in the right house–it’s a pain when you’ve got the wrong sheets in the wrong place. When the cleaning people strip the beds, they’re more careful about keeping all the queens together and all the doubles together. The guests just take them to the laundry room in the main house and they’re all jumbled together. I know–as my daughter likes to tell me–these are rich people problems. :-S </p>
<p>Oh, I understand that. I have some Queens, Fulls, and Twins. Each type has their own style of sheets. Otherwise, it would be confusing when they’re all in a pile. I also take a Laundry Sharpie and write in big letters Q, F, or T on each sheets’ label. </p>
<p>When it comes time to replace your sheets, you can choose one style for all the Queens (maybe all white with a tone on tone stripe), and all the Fulls can be something else (solid white with no tone on tone)…or the Queens can be all one color, and the Fulls can be another color (that is if you allow colors…some don’t because they want to use bleach). </p>
<p>It really is a time-saver to have the used-beds stripped, if you have a number of beds.</p>
<p>My MIL always tries to strip the beds and start laundry when she is leaving my house. I try to dissuade her because as much as she is trying to be helpful, I don’t like it when sheets and towels are put in the washer and (especially) the dryer together. We just have different laundry sorting styles. </p>
<p>I try to be helpful as a guest but also not cross the line of putting away kitchen things unless I’m absolutely, positively, sure of where they go. There ends up being a little pile of odds and ends near the sink but I figure that’s OK. </p>
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don’t like it when sheets and towels are put in the washer and (especially) the dryer together. </p>
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<p>Unless she’s sleeping in a twin bed, that’s a lot to put into one wash anyway. Why not just tell her that you prefer that sheets and towels get washed separately…or…lol…have some loads going at the time of her departure so she can’t start a load. </p>
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That’s great–you’re invited to my house. I’d rather have someone leave stuff out than put it in some random place.
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Absolutely! The same for vaca homes! I recently thought that a wine opener had “walked away” because it no longer was in the “gadget drawer”…so I bought another. Then I found it in some odd place. I would have rather they had left it on the counter.
Much of Good Guest/Bad Guest stuff depends on how the person was raised (altho the OP and sis were from the same home). Many of us had parents that insisted that you leave a place better than you found it. (Isn’t that a scout rule, too…lol) However, some parents never discuss these things with their kids while they’re growing up and don’t model the behavior.
I’m curious as to why Sister thought that the OP should be the Shopper, Cook and Cleaner for her family’s weekend…maybe some entitlement issues? jealousy?
I’m with Eptr and PhotoOp. I don’t feel comfortable in someone else’s house. As for my house, I have a few people I enjoy having as overnight guests, but not many.
In my “regular” house, I basically can’t have houseguests. It’s tiny and falling apart–the bathroom is atrocious. Last year, S’s then-gf was live-in for a while and it was stressful, though she plainly didn’t mind things.
OTOH, our “vacation” house, which is, in our minds, our real home, is set up for visitors, and most have been fine and very helpful. Once a year, we lend it to D for her college friends “girls weekend”, and they always leave it in beautiful shape, usually with a gift for us, too. Most other visitors have been fine, also. The only exception I can think of is after Hurricane Sandy, when a relative who had lost power asked to stay there with us, along with her deadbeat boyfriend. They were a cloud of discontent and sullen-ness --couldn’t wait for her electricity to come back on so she could go home. Eventually, his awful-ness became apparent, even to her, and she’s now married to someone else, thankfully.
Some of my “adult” kids haven’t been very good “guests” during the holidays. Some are helpful, but others are unwilling to pitch in with the smallest tasks. (Doing nothing but playing video games/eating/sleeping–and then arguing for 20 minutes about why they shouldn’t be asked or someone else should be doing a 30 second job?) Go away, kids. And come back with a better attitude.
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I don’t think adult children fall under the same category as guests…lol…especially ones that are still in their 20s. When they come home, they can act like they’re returning to mommy’s bosom.
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then arguing for 20 minutes about why they shouldn't be asked or someone else should be doing a 30 second job?)
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Doesn’t that drive you crazy!?! I can’t tolerate complaints that take longer than the actual chore. Really? You’re spending 10 minutes complaining about why you should fill up the dishwasher and turn it on?
I’ve been feeling guilty about starting this and complaining about my sister.
But since it has been bumped to the first page I thought I would answer. When I cronfronted her, she told me she was very tired. That she had been working and then they had a lengthy drive. And they have been busy with kid activities. I think she feels justified because I’m not currently working but I don’t feel that I have to always shoulder the burden. She then was upset that everyone is against her and that her life stinks. I don’t dispute this but it gets pretty tiring.
After I’ve thought about it, this is the same behavior when we go to her house. The family helps out and she sits and complains how busy she is. There are other things I was reacting to that have been going on for a long time but for the peace of the family I havent. I am not very confitational and try to be sympathic. I guess I overreacted, something I don’t usually do.
The thing is, this wasn’t my regular home and I didn’t have the luxury and cleaning when I had time. Everything needed to be done as another family was coming in a couple of days and the cleaner was not coming until after the holidays. I was not probably as clear as I should have been about what needed to be done beforehand and I need to be better.
The fact is that it took 4 people working hard for 2.5 hours to get the house in order. Most of whom work full time. And most had come from a long way away. And we had been traveling a lot and everyone was helping to pitch in. Except for one.
I need to accept that this is the way things are. And that I am glad my life is good, my children are good, my marriage is happy and that I am happy.
There is a behavioral syndrome among some people that they resent anyone who they see as “luckier” or having it easier than they do. Sometimes they feel justified in behaviour that they think balances the account.
Whenever I hear these family friction stories, I am reminded of the ignorance of people who deride “tract” housing. The single family home is the greatest symbol of affluence that we have in this country. As soon as people are able to maintain their own separate household, they do it, even if it is modest.
I have different expectations of guests at my normal home versus my vacation home. When I am in normal life hosting, I am much more of a host…I don’t mind cleaning up after people, etc. When I am on vacation and providing a place for my guests, I don’t expect to be cleaning up and providing for them. It is my vacation and everyone should and generally does chip in. I don’t relish spending my own vacation being maid service for my guests.
Thank you 1203southview. You put it so much better than I’ve been. Exactly how I felt and my expectations. I was cranky when it didn’t work out that way. My fault for not spelling out what I expected.
I would have been cranky too, deb922! lol… I try to be proactive about it by telling my guests to please help themselves and make themselves at home. (implying that everyone can take care of themselves)