The best vacation I ever had was the one where I announced that I was tired of vacations where I spent my time cooking and washing dishes. (This place has no dishwasher.) We ate out every night and it was such fun.
We’ve had our lake house for over 10 years. I think early on, it became apparent who were the helpers and who were not. I realized that over the years, the helpers were the ones who got repeat invitations. That may explain why every time we host, we are impressed and grateful for how much our guests chip in to make the weekend pleasant for all.
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I think she feels justified because I’m not currently working but I don’t feel that I have to always shoulder the burden. She then was upset that everyone is against her and that her life stinks. I don’t dispute this but it gets pretty tiring.
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she feels entitled and jealous…no surprise.
don’t feel guilty.
I have to share how some unpleasant situations are remembered. H and I had been married less than 10 years and were hosting MIL, FIL, and 2 batchelor brothers (age about 30 was the ‘problem brother’; college educated) in our 3 BR home (this was prior to us having any children). First bad thing was when I was a card partner with BIL - it was bid eucre, and a close game. We won the bid but it was a reach with our cards - I played the cards I had as well as they could be played (I did not misplay anything) and we lost. BIL was screaming at me for losing against his two brothers (even if I had mis-played, it was very inappropriate). H or other brother didn’t defend me and MIL and FIL were in the other room (open floor plan) and didn’t say anything either. I just excused myself and went to my bedroom (rather than act inappropriately) and I guess they told BIL to cut it out. I decided to shave my legs (we had a pool, it was summer; didn’t have time before but I thought it would be a good time for me to do that - our BR had an en-suite). H came to me and I told him I was shaving my legs - he SHARED that with his family (he was raised with no sisters, but still! no filter!) - so when I came out they all LOOKED at my legs!
We had spent a lot of money on nice steaks, wine, etc. H and I don’t like burgundy wine, so we had something else. BIL blared before dinner “You have to have burgundy wine with rib eyes!” - I calmly said H would be happy to drive him to the wine store for him to buy the wine he wanted if the wine we were serving would not suffice - that shut him up.
A few years later he met and married a nice gal through a dating service. She pretty much keeps his behavior in line.
When you get burned with badly behaving family members it does affect how you feel about making great efforts to see them, spend time with them, ever host them again! Good thing next time was after he was married and behavior was within norms.
oh dear…now you have started the “when H does not stand up for you early in your marrriage” thread. :|.
It will go on for decades :))
PhotoOp,
For me I think it’s because I always feel like I’m “ON” when there is a houseguest. One of my D’s boyfriend is very easy to be around and I have gotten very used to his presence. He really feels like family at this point. But for most others I am always aware of whether I brushed my teeth yet that morning, what my hair looks like, are there enough clean towels, did the guest eat anything lately…etc, etc. It’s exhausting.
I would also like to ask if I am the ONLY one on this thread that doesn’t have a lake house!!! :-?
Nope, no lake house but we rent a cottage on a lake back east for a week every summer and invite everyone we know, does that count? I rarely have houseguests here at home, but those who do come are universally delightful.
No guest house here. If folks come to visit us, they sleep in the basement or in my sewing room. When S1 got married, there were 16 of us in the house, and folks were on the sofas, air mattresses, etc. It was a rollicking good time, and everyone pitched in with cooking for the reception, but there was no pretense of gracious living! 
However, DH did get Ghirardelli chocolate squares and put them on everyone’s pillow at night.
No lake house or second house anywhere for me either. I do have college kids who make bad house guests, or roommates, or whatever.
No guest house here 
No guest room either. If people visit us, they get my bed or one of the couches- whichever their preference.
(Our couches are really, really comfortable though so I never mind “giving up” my bed.)
The only thing that bothers me about guests is when they don’t rinse their dishes or leave empty pop/beer cans/bottles around the house. I’m not a good host, and I know that. However, if people come visit us, they’re usually here for a bit and here because they need a place to stay while doing something us.
We haven’t had many houseguests as our house has only three bedrooms and until the kids moved out, each kid had one bedroom. We have had a few houseguests and they were always fine. They tended not to stay too long (never more than a week), and pitched in and would buy a meal or two when we went out to eat. One of our houseguests also taught us how to replace the ballast or starter in the fluorescent light fixtures in our house so they would not be so stubborn about turning on (they used to take a very long time warming up). The next time he stayed with us, he retrofitted another of our light fixtures.
We have had houseguests sleep on futons on the floor as well as futons that fold out to become beds. We used to be houseguests quite often but are no longer staying with folks much any more. We feel we have more flexibility when we stay at a hotel and don’t have to keep checking schedules with everyone all the time.
I am not a huge fan of staying with other people, but do so occasionally. What I really don’t like is to drive other people’s cars.